Invent a Terrible Game

[Cazza]

An MMO with no character creation. With no naming everyone is called "The Hero of the Land". Their is no story expect. The whole game is a grin game although their is no leveling or upgrading. So the player spends thier whole time grining been never get anywhere. There are no stats to aviod grin competitions. You die all the time. When you do you get spawned in the location you died right away with a major penalty so you most likily die again.

 

[oplinger]

Okay, okay. see i had this great idea for a terrible game, It'll be amazing. See, alright..The game is called "Squanch" for no apparent reason.

The gmae starts off with a really epic trailer of a mighty hero. Gameplay starts.

..the game ends and tells you to go outside.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

After a 45-120 minute cut-scene featuring over-the-top action (the kind that would have been awesome to play) you are thrust into a supposed-to-lose fight. The cut-scene will be "heavily inspired" by Aliens, 300, Legend of Zelda, Mass Effect, the song Albuquerque by Weird Al and, The Pokemon series in general. Every line of dialogue will include either 1 four-letter swear or, a lewd comment about a member of the opposite sex.

The fighting system is a turn-based style however, happens in real time so if your take your time selecting your next attack, you will be attacked 1 - 1 million times. There is no way to change this setting.

The battle music you hear during this fight is a 20-second piece of electronica/ska that had potential. The potential however, is thrown on fire and tossed into a turbine engine (figuratively speaking) by the fact that it is on an infinite loop. Every time you enter a battle, you hear that single piece of music. Boss Fights have no music.

After the first battle and second cut-scene (this one clocking between 20 and 30 minutes) you are given an item which can be sold for a moderate price. If you sell it the game can not be beaten. This item will be a key that has no apparent purpose but will open the final area of the final level. There is no way to get this key back if it is sold.

Each dungeon/cave/forest/wild area of the game will offer an 90% chance of encountering an enemy per step. An item can be purchased about 3/4's of the way through the game which will reduce the encounter rate for a 60% chance of encounter per step.

The level of each enemy is determined by your lead-character's level. Whatever level you are, that is the level of your enemy. An enemy's level determines it's total Hit-Points, Strength, Defense, Elemental Resistance and, Status Resistance. All of which increase with level.

None of this really matters though since 7 out of 10 copies if this game will be preloaded with a virus that not only causes the game to freeze up, damage the platform upon which it is booted and, in some cases, cause catastrophic overheating and explosions.

The only single copy of the game which 'works' with no defect is actually severely haunted in a way similar to the infamous Majora's Mask cartridge.

This game is available on all major platforms, iPhones, smartphones, microwave ovens and, in your steamiest dreams.

 

[Flour]

You play a dude that sits in front of a computer all day. ...ah crap

World of World of Warcraft? [http://www.theonion.com/video/warcraft-sequel-lets-gamers-play-a-character-playi,14240/]

 

[Double A]

A game where you play as a lone eyeball with no eyelid and try to not see anything.

 

[archvile93]

It's already been made, Action 52.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

TROLL: Troll Harder

Basically it'd be a MMORPG where you gain experience for making nonsensical threads and disruptive posts on the internet. Pretty much the ultimate goal is to be lampooned by /b/.

So basically talking about the internet as it already is?

 

[RedDeadFred]

You play as Miley Cyrus's personal assistant. You get to listen to all of her songs and pick out her outfits. And before you even think about trying to turn this into something sexual, your character is gay.

I win?

 

[Jfswift]

"Wizard's Apprentice" only you don't actually get to do anything cool, you spend the majority of the game collecting items and running meaningless errands, all the while under the promise that one day you'll learn spells. Upon learning your first spell, you don't even get to cast it but rather are forced to watch a lengthy cutscene.

 

[Chris Sandford]

Seinfeld: The MMO

You got four classes,

George
Elane
Jerry
Kramer

No combat, all interactions are played through clips of the show.

 

[Pegghead]

A pacifist orientation of Mortal Kombat.

 

[Vigormortis]

A text based game where your sole goal is to earn as many player accolades as possible. You do this by typing the most boring and mundane short stories you can imagine filled with terrible characters and failed logic. However, there are three key restrictions. You have to use horrendous grammar, be unable to spell simple words, and you are limited to 140 letters/spaces.

Oh wait...I messed up. Someone already made that game.

http://twitter.com/

 

[RedDeadFred]

You're a janitor and you clean up bathrooms that have been pooped and peed on. You need the money to pay for your daughter's cancer surgery, although she dies in the first level.

I got depressed just by reading your comment. You win.

 

[WhiteFangofWhoa]

Start with the basic framework of Postal 2, killing poorly-animated and acted racial and religious stereo stereotypes en masse. Hire the dumbest American teen I can find to come up with about 10 one-liners to set on repeat, with mandatory subtitles and a minimum of one cuss word per line. Stagger the hit-detection and controls to make it impossible to hit or dodge anything under the guise of 'realism'... and make it pay-to-play, $30 a month with a 1-year minimum subscription. Use this money to buy as many hype reviews as possible from bribe-able gaming reviewers.

Now I must go. I'm ashamed of myself for coming up with such a monstrosity.

 

[Deguasser]

its just you looking at yourself in a mirror, and you control your blinking through the L/R Trigger, and thats about it.

 

[ayuri]

An fps where you play with three characters where you have to switch perspectives from the three and they all must survive or they all die. split second precision and very similar enemies like in HL1.

 

[Mr. Elemenopee]

Super Busy Hospital​

You are a doctor who works at a hospital that takes care of video game characters who have been hurt, severely beaten, or killed in humiliating ways. Your job is to save who you can, if you can. Your the people responsible for getting people back into games after respawns. You must treat the tea bagged, the noob tubed, the suicidal idiots, etc.

Each victim will have a dick like personality save for the occasional nice guy who will die on you. The game uses motion controls (take your pic from which ever console) and is a bit like Trauma Center except you have people yelling at you and almost everything and everyone seems to be trying to break your concentration by either pushing or accidents.

There is no end to the game. It just keeps going and going until you can't bear the many lives you know you can't save. You will live with the guilt of not being able to save anyone and the last level is taking a scalpel to your wrist and committing suicide.


Meh, I'm not so sure it's that bad of a game, but I just trailed off somewhere along the lines.

 

[Racecarlock]

It's the sims meets Wall Street Kid in a mash up of ultimate horror (using the gta control scheme)! You play as an investor who has to make 1 million dollars in six months. You invest in various stocks and check every day to see if you made any money back. That's the wall street kid portion. The sims portion involves you coming home to your golddigger girlfriend yelling at you to buy her things, and the game is in english so you can understand every word. You have to drive your character to work everyday and the police can and will bust you for speeding and running red lights and car crashes reduce health. Did I mention you drive in rush hour traffic both day and night and sit at red lights for hours in real time? At home, you have to keep your character's motives full by having him eat, go to the toilet, sleep, and watch tv. Then you send him to sleep to do it all again the next in game day. And your friends constantly call you to play darts, go bowling, and play fully interactive real time board games like chess and scrabble. But no drinking because the game doesn't have that. Your character is also immortal so you can't commit suicide. To top it all off, elevator music is the only background music choice, and you can't turn it off or even down, as there's no music volume meter in the menu. Also available: Temporary Office Worker edition! Note: Sometimes the music freezes so it plays the first note every nanosecond.