iOS game lets you beat your boyfriend

[Fenra]

This reminds me of a show a few years ago. I think it was called "What Would you do?" or something like that. They had a scenario where a man was hitting his spouse in public to see how people reacted. The public almost immediately took notice and put a stop to it. Then they reversed the roles where the woman was beating the man and not only was it tolerated, one woman was actually enjoying it. It took quite a while for a random woman to stop the beating.

Pretty sure I saw that a little while back, if I'm thinking of the right one, the acting couple sat on a park bench with hidden cameras filming them, was an eye opener for me, particularly when one woman fist pumped when she walked by and when they talked to her afterwards her response was along the lines of "I was thinking go girl, he deserves it!"

Honestly I'm going to try and not get my undies in a bunch over this, sexism aside, and even if they were too androgynous aliens with no defining genders its just a tasteless iOS game that shouldn't be made in the first place.

... although I'd probably play a game about gender-less alien marital relationships

 

[Twitchy Wyche]

I agree that it's pretty disgusting, but on the other hand the guy looks like the biggest douche in the world.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

The hypocrisy of complaining about abuse in a game while gamers have no problem killing hundreds or thousands of digital representations of living things (often people) in a game is rather stunning.

We're curiously blase about simulated murder in our recreational pursuits. Murder as a punchline is completely normalized to the point where we don't even blink. I don't necessarily think it leads to real life murder or anything, it's just a curious psychological phenomenon, why we shrug away gunning down a room full of assailants but a little slapping makes us queasy. Someone could probably write a really interesting dissertation on it.

Someone who isn't me, of course. That sounds like a lot of work.

 

[Cheesepower5]

Mostly pretty reasonable stuff.

With a few exceptions here and there.

Way to cut out any context, dude. If I'm not getting my conversations mixed up, she had already made threatening comments and lewd photoshops of him. I'm not saying that totally justifies what he said, but it's obvious who you're trying to paint as a villain.

The premise alone skeeves me right out, TBQH. As others have pointed out, it reads as portraying domestic violence as somehow "cute." And that's gross and fucked-up.

But that said?

The Amazing Atheist is hardly champion of the MRA movement or an anti-feminist speaker. Hell, his wife is one of those super feminists. Whad'they call'em? Militant Feminists? Hardcore Feminists? I honestly forget, and I still don't get how it works, but yeah.

That's odd; I could have sworn he was openly gay.

Bi, but leaning towards straight, apparently.

He's done like 4 anti-feminist videos (The Failure of Feminism, Tumblr Feminists, etc.) Most of them are older and just calling out extremist groups, like when he makes a Glenn Beck video or what have you. He's also made one called "It's Only Sexist When Men Do It" where he's pissed of at The Talk for getting away with laughing at a guy who got his dick cut off. Mostly pretty reasonable stuff.

Not going to delve much deeper into this, but his having done more than one such video kind of contradicts your previous claim. Unless, of course, he's focusing on actual failures within mainstream feminism (the excessive focus on middle-class white businesswomen, for example). But going after the convenient scapegoat that is Tumblr, or trotting out an extreme example, kind of suggests otherwise.

He doesn't focus on feminists at all, he makes videos about a lot of topics. He does bring up the fact that many feminiusts going out of their way to paint white men as evil are fairly well of white women themselves, I believe, but I guess an easy target gets more hits.

 

[Hagi]

Mostly pretty reasonable stuff.

With a few exceptions here and there.

Way to cut out any context, dude. If I'm not getting my conversations mixed up, she had already made threatening comments and lewd photoshops of him. I'm not saying that totally justifies what he said, but it's obvious who you're trying to paint as a villain.

Dude... no amount of context will ever make that statement anywhere near "pretty reasonable".

But hey, if you think rape is ever reasonable then I guess we're pretty much done here. Not really much to say to that...

 

[Farseer Lolotea]

Way to cut out any context, dude. If I'm not getting my conversations mixed up, she had already made threatening comments and lewd photoshops of him. I'm not saying that totally justifies what he said, but it's obvious who you're trying to paint as a villain.

As Hagi has pointed out [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.399771.16417841]? There's no context that would justify that shit. At all.

Bi, but leaning towards straight, apparently.

Hmm. Could have sworn he claimed to be a complete Kinsey 6 in one video.

He doesn't focus on feminists at all, he makes videos about a lot of topics.

Beside the point. He's still made at least five such videos.

He does bring up the fact that many feminiusts going out of their way to paint white men as evil are fairly well of white women themselves, I believe, but I guess an easy target gets more hits.

If he's accused anyone of a gross oversimplification and strawman like "going out of their way to paint white men as evil," he's entirely missed the point to begin with. (Appropriately enough, the captcha was "weasel words.")

 

[Frankster]

*shrugs* I'm assuming this is made for a very specific niche audience, more power to them i guess.

Really get the feeling ive walked into someone elses fantasy, so don't see this as being reflective of sexist trends or whatever. If the behaviors portrayed in the game were glorified or portrayed as being desirable irl, maybe i'd be able to summon some outrage, but as it stands the only really curious thing about this game is its a paid app rather then a free game you find on those hentai fetish game sites.

 

[Hagi]

It's getting to be worrisome the degree to which gamers want to censor the medium.

If boyfriend abuse is acceptable in film, tv, and books, then why not in video games?

What happens when a serious game developer wants to include boyfriend abuse in a social game in order to explore issues related to that, but can't because gamers have already decided that abuse is not allowable in a game?

The hypocrisy of complaining about abuse in a game while gamers have no problem killing hundreds or thousands of digital representations of living things (often people) in a game is rather stunning.

"It's ok if you shoot and kill me, sweetie, just don't pull on my tie too hard!"

Obviously digital murder isn't real murder, but digital abuse isn't real abuse, either.

Why do gamers pick and choose what's "real" in a game, while no other artistic medium is treated as such?

Nobody is saying abuse isn't allowable in games. As has been pointed out there already are games where it's entirely possible to beat up your spouse.

What's considered messed up is the direct implication of this game that beating up your boyfriend is a good and admirable thing that makes him a better person.

And other artistic media are treated exactly the same on that score. If a movie was made about a woman abusing her boyfriend, entirely painted in a positive light, then you can bet that there would be no shortage of criticism.

Stop it with the victim complex that whenever criticism is offered on the content of games it's somehow infringing on their rights and that other media never ever receive criticism, it's annoying at best and utterly delusional at worst.

 

[Robetid]

"Boyfriend Trainer"? Oviously this game is completely fictitious and in no way depicts real life in any way fathomable. Why is this generating so much heat?

 

[Farseer Lolotea]

*shrugs* I'm assuming this is made for a very specific niche audience, more power to them i guess.

Really get the feeling ive walked into someone elses fantasy, so don't see this as being reflective of sexist trends or whatever. If the behaviors portrayed in the game were glorified or portrayed as being desirable irl, maybe i'd be able to summon some outrage, but as it stands the only really curious thing about this game is its a paid app rather then a free game you find on those hentai fetish game sites.

It's not about sexism; it's that it glorifies domestic violence, and that's fucking disgusting.

I mean, maybe it was made by someone who gets a kick out of being slapped around, and who couldn't give less of a damn for the usual BDSM watchphrase. That doesn't mean it isn't still creepy.

 

[Cheesepower5]

Mostly pretty reasonable stuff.

With a few exceptions here and there.

Way to cut out any context, dude. If I'm not getting my conversations mixed up, she had already made threatening comments and lewd photoshops of him. I'm not saying that totally justifies what he said, but it's obvious who you're trying to paint as a villain.

Dude... no amount of context will ever make that statement anywhere near "pretty reasonable".

But hey, if you think rape is ever reasonable then I guess we're pretty much done here. Not really much to say to that...

Do I need to repeat myself? Where did I say rape is reasonable? I said his videos in relation to feminism are mostly pretty reasonable, getting too sure he was right that girl was faking and saying some horrible shit doesn't instantly invalidate my agreement with anything else he says, if you reflexively disagree like that grow the hell up.

 

[Hagi]

Mostly pretty reasonable stuff.

With a few exceptions here and there.

Way to cut out any context, dude. If I'm not getting my conversations mixed up, she had already made threatening comments and lewd photoshops of him. I'm not saying that totally justifies what he said, but it's obvious who you're trying to paint as a villain.

Dude... no amount of context will ever make that statement anywhere near "pretty reasonable".

But hey, if you think rape is ever reasonable then I guess we're pretty much done here. Not really much to say to that...

Do I need to repeat myself? Where did I say rape is reasonable? I said his videos in relation to feminism are mostly pretty reasonable, getting too sure he was right that girl was faking and saying some horrible shit doesn't instantly invalidate my agreement with anything else he says, if you reflexively disagree like that grow the hell up.

And I said not everything he says is reasonable, giving an example... To which you reply that it's completely ripped out of context and apparently partly justifiable?

Again, no amount of context will make what he said acceptable in any way, shape or form. Not everything the guy says is pretty reasonable. Simple as that.

 

[Living Contradiction]

Leaving aside the debate of rape, abuse, tastelessness, and general disappointment, I'm going to say I loathe this game, this developer, and iTunes in general for something that nobody seems to have noticed.

First, head over to the game in question on iTunes (here's a link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/boyfriend-trainer/id445601028?mt=8) and take note of the following on the left side of the page where game information is listed: This game came out in October of last year. It took until the end of January before anyone in the media noticed it. Let's hear it for the speedy reaction, Internet!

Now look a little lower and take a good long look at the rating given to this game: 4+

Translating that from Apple rating into ESRB, this game has an E rating. That means a child can purchase this game for a buck and play it.

Mmmhmm.

Let me repeat myself with a bit more emphasis: Fuck you, Boyfriend Trainer. Fuck you, Games2Win India. And a hearty heigh-ho fuck you very much, iTunes, for giving those who hate games and everything games are a perfect example of how video games expose kids to content that is offensive.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

If you want I can take something you've once said, ignore all context and pretend you think the same thing about this game.

Sure, fill your boots! Whatever I can do to make your day go by a little faster is fine by me. If you can deliver it in the same gravely serious tone that you replied to my post with I'd appreciate it.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

http://www.destructoid.com/ios-game-lets-you-beat-your-boyfriend-until-he-s-perfect-243517.phtml

As someone who was a victim stuff like this, I'm a bit saddened. Saddened that women beating men is considered cartoonish and that if it was a man beating a woman, the press would be all over it like flies on shit.

Anyone got any thoughts on this?

First, I am terribly sorry you had to go through something like that. No one, regardless of gender should be abused by their partner. It does seem like a double standard. That is a no win situation for the male. He does nothing, he gets his arse kicked and probably is derided for being weak, allowing a woman to beat him up etc, but if he defends himself, he is seen as a woman beating arse-hole, even though he was attacked first and just defending himself.

 

[QuartzQuadreant]

I too was a victim of domestic abuse, but to be honest I'm hesitant about pulling it from the shelves. I don't expect things I get offended by to be condemned universally, and I don't want to ruin anyone else's picnic. I seriously doubt this will encourage anyone to begin their own crusade against inadequacy within their own relationships, and I'd rather people used this app to de-stress after an argument or whatever than actually do it.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

It is just baffling that you think "If it was a woman being abused no one would care!" carries the same weight as the reverse. In a culture that places a taboo on hitting girls at a young age you really think that they suddenly consider hitting a man the same as hitting a woman?

If you makes you feel better, Father, I consider both sides of that argument utterly ridiculous.

I too was a victim of domestic abuse, but to be honest I'm hesitant about pulling it from the shelves. I don't expect things I get offended by to be condemned universally, and I don't want to ruin anyone else's picnic.

I'm not sure that app is anyone's idea of a picnic. It looks pretty low-rent.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

It is ridiculous to say that nobody would care, but less ridiculous IMO to say that significantly less people would care in one example.

No, they are both ridiculous.

To start a conversation about violence against men, how it's a problem, why it doesn't get the attention it deserves, etc, is perfectly justifiable. A noble endeavor. I will support that day and night.

To jump into a conversation about violence against women(men) and start carping about how it happens to men(women) too is juvenile and absurd. It's a perpetuation of the absurd "us against them" dynamic that permeates every thread where gender is a factor. And a lot of it gets issued with the seeming expectation that existence of violence against men somehow negates violence against women. As though it were a rebuttal, and not just a second crime.

True story, I have a similar screen name on an MMO and one woman thought I was actually a dad. She seemed kind of disappointed and it turns out she was a mother.

If we repeat it enough maybe we can get some people thinking you are a priest.

 

[DementedSheep]

Not cool. Female on male abuse is actually serious issue and its gets ignored or made light of far too much.

Gender stereotypes are harmful to both genders. I think the belief is that woman are weak, innocent, non violent and lack agency whereas guys are meant to be strong, in control and perverted so when a guy gets beaten by a woman the assumption is that he must have been the one to instate it somehow (by cheating usually, cause, all guys are controlled by their penis apparently), that she is too weak to any real damage and so if the guy does get hurt by a woman it?s his fault because he has failed as a man and clearly he must be very weak.

Anyone who thinks woman in general are innocent or non violent must not know many woman well. Even when an abuser is weaker than person they are abusing it doesn?t matter if they are far more aggressive and the partner can?t or won?t defend themselves. Woman being weaker than men is on average, not always true especially (this many sound racist so I?m sorry if I offend) with Polynesian woman who are often big and quite strong. The idea that a guy can?t ask for help and anything bad that happens to them is there fault and a sign of weakness really needs to stop.

I know we defend video game violence in most games on the grounds that it?s not real but I don?t think this sort of thing is the same. Video game violence generally doesn?t feel real, it?s often for a no real choice type situation, not necessarily indicative of a particular mindset and involves the protagonist being in a situations that you are likely never going to be in anything even remotely similar too. Sexism (especially like this one), homophobia and racism however are everyday problems in our society. It?s often more subtle, pervasive and something you might not even realise you?re doing so I think it?s more damaging.

 

[Sheo_Dagana]

An ex of mine used to punch me in the face whenever I said anything that could be remotely construed as disagreeing with her. It's funny when couples play fight, that's perfectly normal. But REAL abuse, regardless of gender, is not funny, and this game is in poor taste.