Is it rude to ask someone how much they make?

[Amaror]

Germany here and it depends on the situation.
Out of the Blue ... Yes that's really rude.
But it can be okay. For example when i was in what would be highschool in america i had a job on the side. Sometimes some of my friends were looking for a job so they asked me how much i made, so they could decide if they want to do that too.
It would be pretty rude with a regular job. I mean it's not anyones business how much you make.

 

[Angie7F]

Totally rude in Japan too.

 

[hutchy27]

I'm from England, I wouldn't deem it as rude, just being curious like asking how many hours someone works.

 

[Combustion Kevin]

It's only rude when you make more than they do.

 

[hutchy27]

It's only rude when you make more than they do.

That wouldn't really work as you would have to ask them to know that in most cases.

 

[Adamantium93]

I'm from North Eastern America and it is pretty rude.

The area I'm from has a large range of economic classes. My town has people who are absolutely rolling in it and people who rely on welfare to get by and everything in between.

Therefore, unless its specifically important in context, its rude to ask. How much you make shouldn't matter; it should be who you are as a person.

 

[Sectan]

If the subject of work comes up then it's not too rude as it's part of the conversation. If you walk into a bar and some friends see you with a new handheld and just ask you how much you make it can be a bit rude. Then again I think talking to somebody without taking your sunglasses or hat off is very rude, but a lot of people to it to me anyways...

It's just a number really. I've never run into someone with some evil plan when they ask me how much I make. It's usually just curiosity about a particular job.

As a side note don't youtubers and people like that have to be very discreet with their earnings or big bad Google will get after them?

 

[Ace Morologist]

It isn't a rude question, per se, but it's a personal question. The rules for when it's rude to ask a personal question are the same for all personal questions, man. How is this worth three pages of thread?

--Morology!

 

[Story]

In the United States in the Northeast it's considered rude. So take that what you will.
I've only ever asked close friends or family members that question.

 

[Daveman]

Well literally everyone I've told I got a job asked me what the salary was, so either everyone I know is very rude or not all of Britain feels that way.

 

[Mr F.]

SNIP.

Couldn't have put it better myself!

Your analogies of why we don't let people know our incomes are spot on, and the fact that you own nice things, or appear to have a lot of expenditure is neither here nor there!

Also... I totally agree with you on the social acceptability front. If it is considered rude, and someone asks anyway, first I would take it on the chin and think they may not know. I would gently brush it off, but not submit. If they persist because they somehow think that they are above social norms and that what they do isn't rude because they consider it not to be then they would receive a justifiable 'fuck off' and a stiff cold shoulder, mirroring their arrogant attitude.

Finally... I am also a fan of Black Mirror! Although I am at a disadvantage as I have only seen the first series. The second came out whilst I was in the Middle East, and I never got round to watching it! Is it on Netflix/4OD?

I found the memory machine one very close to home. I lost my last relationship after 4 years to a bout of jealousy brought on by work related stress. Watching how the characters in that acted, and comparing it to how I would have acted if we had that tech was rather scary. Brooker does a fantastic job of making abstract ideas incredibly realistic, focusing on the human interaction! (Something that British drama and TV seems to do the best. Realistic emotion and character interactions. Part of the reason I like to watch British films so much. I watched Fish Tank recently, which was about a chavvy girl with attitude problems trying to get out of her shitty life. The characters were really good!)

Its all on 4oD last I checked. I would check for you but in a bout of pure creepiness...

I can't, cause I am currently in the Middle East.

Black Mirror is fucking wonderful. British Drama is fucking wonderful. Now, I am not saying that we do it better than anyone else. But I am saying that we do it particularly well, with things like Black Mirror and Sherlock as shining examples of how to do things. I have seen poor British dramas though. Let us not forget the promising, yet fucking stupid, Utopia (Was dating a biologist at the time who pointed out that if you caused a quarter of the human race to become infertile you would cause population growth to arrest. If you caused as many as was being indicated to go infertile, you would cause an extinction event.) or the travesty that was Merlin. We do make mistakes. They might be good looking mistakes but still, they are mistakes.

 

[Schtoobs]

I wouldn't say it's always rude. I think it's closer to bad form. Rudeness has intent behind it. It's bad form because it might put the person being asked in an awkward position of feeling either inferior at how little they make or like they are boasting.

Context is important here as others have said. If the intent is to make the other person feel awkward then it is rude (as it is for all questions). If it's an honest question born from a genuine interest without agenda then it's just bad form. In the case of the latter people shouldn't be getting upset or offended if they don't want to answer.

 

[OneCatch]

I never quite understood what is supposed to be rude about it, unless you have a really shitty job and don't want others to know. It's one thing in TB's case where, as he pointed out, he can't disclose that kind of information because of various reasons but if you've got an average occupation what's the big deal?

Being British, I'll offer some possible answers.
I'd stress that it isn't seen as rude in the context of, say, an employment discussion with friends, or if you're asking for advice about the profession, but if it were something you asked on first meeting with someone you might be seen as kind of an arse.

That's because asking someone about their pay kind of implies that you'll judge them on how much they make (or at least that it factors into your judgement). If you wouldn't then why ask?

Not to mention that income is something of a social dick-measuring contest, in which someone is inevitably going to come out worse. Genuinely[footnote]I say genuinely to distinguish between taking the piss in a friendly way, and actually trying to socially profit at someone else's expense[/footnote] making someone look bad (even if it rebounds upon yourself) isn't really something to do to people you don't know that well. We're more self-deprecating under those kinds of circumstances.

Lastly, because the aftermath of class conflict is still kind of a big deal in the UK, as embarrassing as that is. Someone's income, and thus their class, is a touchy subject.
An analogy is tough when it comes to class issues... the closest I can come up with is that it's kind of like race in the US (though nowhere near as extreme).

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

Its all on 4oD last I checked. I would check for you but in a bout of pure creepiness...

I can't, cause I am currently in the Middle East.

Black Mirror is fucking wonderful. British Drama is fucking wonderful. Now, I am not saying that we do it better than anyone else. But I am saying that we do it particularly well, with things like Black Mirror and Sherlock as shining examples of how to do things. I have seen poor British dramas though. Let us not forget the promising, yet fucking stupid, Utopia (Was dating a biologist at the time who pointed out that if you caused a quarter of the human race to become infertile you would cause population growth to arrest. If you caused as many as was being indicated to go infertile, you would cause an extinction event.) or the travesty that was Merlin. We do make mistakes. They might be good looking mistakes but still, they are mistakes.

Haha! Weird! There for uni?

As another point of weirdness... is your avatar a pic of you with a pipe? My previous avatar was me with a pipe, before succumbing to one which shows my (ex)moustache better! How long have you smoked the wooden instrument of dreams? And what tobacco/flavour do you use?

I'll have to check later for Black Mirror, as I am at work at the mo, but I hope it is!

I agree... not everything we produce is good... but our industry has developed to gritty dramas the most... probably because of the low production cost. Crime dramas, black comedies, things like Spooks, Gritty Gangster films and period drama seems to be where we do better over action flicks, sci-fis and the like... and because of that our writers show off complex stories or emotional issues to best show them off.

OT: I imagine the whole issue of salary being socially unacceptable comes from the dated class structure in Britain. In period times income was linked to importance, and was oft used to get one over on people, or be the topic of scrutiny and gossip. As much as this may not wholely be the case nowadays, it does still happen, and you don't want peoples perceptions of you to change due to that... Why do you think chavs go round wearing gold and labels like Burberry, Ralph Lauren and Fred Perry? They are expensive makes, and a display of wealth, that may or may not be backed up with actual pay grades.

The other issue I can see arising here is the difference between a job and a career. Asking it of younger people with jobs outside uni or school who earn per hour worked is very different to asking people in full time employment on a yearly salary.

The final issue is from embarrassment. No one wants it to be highlighted that they earn less than their peers... and no one wants to be treated differently (handouts/ charity) by their peers because of pay. It is also embarrassing to admit that you earn more than everyone else. I was the only person in my friends who didn't go to uni... this meant that whilst they were gaining huge debts, I was on a tidy yearly wage in a secure job. Luckily the topic never came up... but I always feared that someone would ask whilst they were comparing uni costs and debts! I would have felt embarrassment if I had to answer that.

 

[Smertnik]

Being British, I'll offer some possible answers.
I'd stress that it isn't seen as rude in the context of, say, an employment discussion with friends, or if you're asking for advice about the profession, but if it were something you asked on first meeting with someone you might be seen as kind of an arse.

I see. I just misinterpreted the topic then. The wording of the issue and the responses made me assume that the whole income discussion is a taboo topic in general. Not asking strangers about their income seems pretty obvious to me.

 

[BodomBeachChild]

Depends on the context of the convo. But you should never, ever tell your coworkers or ask them. You might as well ask to bang their sister. It causes too much trouble.

 

[ViridianV6]

I'm Australian, and like some people said before context is everything.

When there is a service being provided such as auditing or tax returns, asking how much they earn is most likely redundant due to having the necessary paperwork, but if required to it is not rude.

In terms of part time and casual jobs, asking a close friend what they do will eventually lead to them most likely saying their hourly rates without being offended, provided you ask them in a relevant context and don't pressure them to answer.

In a full time job, asking what a person makes is more likely to be considered rude, especially if the asker knows they make more and are merely asking to one up the other person.

My 2c

 

[BabuNu]

In England it's considered rude but I think that it's because "it's always been rude" rather than anyone actually being offended by the question. Generally if I'm in the pub with people and it comes up, no one has any real problem with saying how much they earn.

FYI - Just over £40k

 

[surg3n]

It depends on if it's more or less than the person asking makes

Typically, people ask that when they are wondering if you make more, or they have an idea how much they think you should make. Either way it's not the best thing to talk about. Personally, when people discuss that I prefer to keep quiet, usually I earn more, and I don't feel comfortable pointing that out, making someone feel less valued - I prefer to be sympathetic when people complain about how much they earn, and oblivious when people brag about how much they earn.

Doesn't matter to me anyway, no matter how much money I make, there's always a bill waiting for more than that :/

 

[Alexander Kirby]

I think it is, but actually I don't know why. I seem to be against the grain but I really don't mind when someone asks me. It is private information and you shouldn't feel pressured to tell someone, but I've never seen why people are offended by it.

I think some people may feel embarrassed if they earn more than someone else. It's like the opposite of why some people like to tell how bad off they are in order to gain your sympathy.