where I am from you don't ask they brag about how much they make and if they don't tell you then that means they earn a little and you can ask them how much
Is it rude to ask someone how much they make?
- Thread starter Mersadeon
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Context is everything. Out of the blue? Yes, very rude, as the implication of the question is an attempt at measuring the other's "worth".
But if the topic is personal finances and how one handles particular money woes then it would be par the course.
But if the topic is personal finances and how one handles particular money woes then it would be par the course.
It's a bit like asking someone how often they get sick. It's an odd question which calls some aspect about them into question, so it's viewed as rude.
I don't ask, and people don't ask me.
I don't ask, and people don't ask me.
People you don't know or work with, no. People you've known a while, depends on their personality I guess.
I don't think it is, and I never saw why people think it is.
Maybe its because I'm in college and my jobs have been minimum wage mostly, but if someone asks "How much do you make" I'll answer. If someone judges me based on how much money I make then why are they in my life anyway?
Maybe its because I'm in college and my jobs have been minimum wage mostly, but if someone asks "How much do you make" I'll answer. If someone judges me based on how much money I make then why are they in my life anyway?
I used to work part-time at Waitrose while at university, and whenever I had my annual review and was told what my salary raise would be, I was told not to go telling everyone else what I earned. I never asked any of my colleagues either, and they never asked me. As for now, I work full time training as a quantity surveyor, which means that I need to know all the costs involved in the project we're working on, including what everyone in the office and on our contract earn (so we can weigh the monthly salary costs against our cost plan). The cost plan has those details and is kept hidden from anyone who doesn't need that info. We actually had problems getting into the payroll on our computer system recently because the info is so sensitive and no-one in IT would allow us access to the data (which we needed for the monthly project review).
In short, even as part of my job where I need to know this stuff, it's still considered bad to know what everyone else is earning. I definitely wouldn't tell anyone else my salary (except my family and my bank), so yeah, I'd say it's fairly rude. British here, by the way...
In short, even as part of my job where I need to know this stuff, it's still considered bad to know what everyone else is earning. I definitely wouldn't tell anyone else my salary (except my family and my bank), so yeah, I'd say it's fairly rude. British here, by the way...
I wouldn't say that it's considered rude, but it is frowned upon. Especially among co-workers. While I do have a fair idea of how much some of my coworkers make in relation to my own paycheck (some more, some less), I would never ask. And when I have been asked, I generally wave it off or frame my answer in a way that relates more to the person asking. Invariably, the person asking is usually fairly new and wondering how much they can look forward to making in the future, so answering how raises tend to go is usually more relevant to their concerns than how much I make.
However, a good chunk of this comes from other concerns. I won't lie, I have generally gotten better raises than most of my coworkers. I know this much. I can make educated guesses about who else may have shared that as well. But I would never ask. Because that sort of thing tends to breed jealousy and discontent. "Why did a guy half my age get a larger raise than me?"
So, yes, there is a good reason to avoid telling people how much you make or what sort of raise you have gotten. They could get just as angry at you for making more than them as your boss for not paying them the same. Which is not fair to you or anyone else. This is probably where the idea that it is rude to ask someone how much they make arose.
However, a good chunk of this comes from other concerns. I won't lie, I have generally gotten better raises than most of my coworkers. I know this much. I can make educated guesses about who else may have shared that as well. But I would never ask. Because that sort of thing tends to breed jealousy and discontent. "Why did a guy half my age get a larger raise than me?"
So, yes, there is a good reason to avoid telling people how much you make or what sort of raise you have gotten. They could get just as angry at you for making more than them as your boss for not paying them the same. Which is not fair to you or anyone else. This is probably where the idea that it is rude to ask someone how much they make arose.
There's this business magazine here (Belgium) that does a yearly anonymous poll of how much people working in different sectors make. The point is mostly for readers to check if they're not being underpaid.
Hence I assume it is indeed considered rude to straight up ask, even amongst colleagues. Why else would such an elaborate anonymous poll be necessary?
Hence I assume it is indeed considered rude to straight up ask, even amongst colleagues. Why else would such an elaborate anonymous poll be necessary?
It depends on how well you know the person, or if you're looking for an actual monetary figure or just a "well/poor" answer. Generally when discussing employment, I ask something like "How well does that treat you?" which can be answered with income or without if the person wants to talk about it or not.
It's not rude(assuming the conversation was naturally leading there, and you actually know each other). They might decide to refuse, and it would be rude to pressure them. It's not much different from asking where someone lives.
I'm in my mid 30's and American. I'd say that it depends, from my own view growing up as an upper-middle class white guy.Mersadeon said:
My friends and I would talk about this, in particular coworkers doing the same job - this was actually good, because as I recall in the 90's it led to many of the Gen Y crowd actually figuring out what they were worth and what they could get paid for it - myself included.
On the other hand, I wouldn't ask a stranger or somebody that didn't work with me this question unless I was interested in pursuing it as a career. That just seems a little odd. "So you say you're a librarian, eh? What do they pull in?"
Not so much rude as... an unexpected question. If somebody who didn't know me well asked me I'd probably have no problem answering them though I think it's a little strange to ask. If somebody who I worked with asked me I'd figure it was obviously for personal economic reasons, for example: Is that gnome dude getting paid more for the same work I do.
Etc.
Context really matters. If you asked someone out of the blue how many people they've slept with, it's rude or at the least in poor taste.
Usually you only ask if you think someone is making more than you. Who, besides your parents, has ever asked how much you make at a shitty job? If you have a shitty job then I guarantee that no one cares.
The other thing is asking about it while dating, it's shallow.
This is a generalization, but the Brits I've worked with find talking about personal things like politics, religion, money, even family to be none of anybody else's business and get offended if you're an American trying to get to know them. But take a place like Israel, politics and religion are everything, it's how you define yourself and it can't be avoided.
What's probably more rude (and many people are more sensitive about in America) is questions of race/ethnicity. Also, sexuality. Asking someone what their ethnicity is or their sexual orientation is grounds for lawsuits here. Why? Because people are assholes and BTW, you're not proving yourself as a human being if you have to resort to lawsuits for quick cash. The other part of sexuality is asking how many people you've been with or dick/bra size. Lawsuit city.
Not that the average person is going to sue you for being rude, but since we're talking about earnings here, we are therefore talking about the workplace, which is where you get your friend pool as an adult.
I always ask people, "is it OK if I ask you about..." If people don't what to talk about it then fine. I usually only even think about these things if it's germane to the conversation anyway.
As for me, it's very hard to insult me. I can't believe anyone that grew up with the internet hasn't grown a pair.
Usually you only ask if you think someone is making more than you. Who, besides your parents, has ever asked how much you make at a shitty job? If you have a shitty job then I guarantee that no one cares.
The other thing is asking about it while dating, it's shallow.
This is a generalization, but the Brits I've worked with find talking about personal things like politics, religion, money, even family to be none of anybody else's business and get offended if you're an American trying to get to know them. But take a place like Israel, politics and religion are everything, it's how you define yourself and it can't be avoided.
What's probably more rude (and many people are more sensitive about in America) is questions of race/ethnicity. Also, sexuality. Asking someone what their ethnicity is or their sexual orientation is grounds for lawsuits here. Why? Because people are assholes and BTW, you're not proving yourself as a human being if you have to resort to lawsuits for quick cash. The other part of sexuality is asking how many people you've been with or dick/bra size. Lawsuit city.
Not that the average person is going to sue you for being rude, but since we're talking about earnings here, we are therefore talking about the workplace, which is where you get your friend pool as an adult.
I always ask people, "is it OK if I ask you about..." If people don't what to talk about it then fine. I usually only even think about these things if it's germane to the conversation anyway.
As for me, it's very hard to insult me. I can't believe anyone that grew up with the internet hasn't grown a pair.
Ehhhhh, I think it's very situational in my neck of the US.
For instance, I don't really care much asking friends. Which, honestly, I'm not sure if it's because of the friendship or because we're at a point right now where we are all working jobs that we don't foresee will become our respective careers. I make minimum wage; so what? I'm only doing it for the time-being, to pay the bills.
On the other hand, I've asked a few people how much their work pays recently because I was strongly considering paying out-of-pocket for specialized training to do this repair work. I don't believe it was rude because they were offering advice on the topic and it was the kind of thing I had to weigh the financial pros/cons of.
For instance, I don't really care much asking friends. Which, honestly, I'm not sure if it's because of the friendship or because we're at a point right now where we are all working jobs that we don't foresee will become our respective careers. I make minimum wage; so what? I'm only doing it for the time-being, to pay the bills.
On the other hand, I've asked a few people how much their work pays recently because I was strongly considering paying out-of-pocket for specialized training to do this repair work. I don't believe it was rude because they were offering advice on the topic and it was the kind of thing I had to weigh the financial pros/cons of.
Born and raised Canadian here, and yes it's definitely a rude question to ask. It's not even just a case of asking a stranger as it's still rather rude even if you know the person unless that's specifcally something you're discussing.
Me? I am a fucking student. This economy has no place for someone who took a few extra years to get into university. So nothing. But it is not a topic I like, at all, cause...jackdeesface said:
My sister and her bloke are PhD students. They get paid jack shit. But, if I get onto the course I want to get onto, within a year of graduating I will be earning half again of what that household earns. Yet if I do not get onto that course I will end up a fucking barrista that can barely sustain life.
Its a shitty question. 90% of the time it will be embarrassing, for one reason or another.
Also, Black Mirror is just...
It fucks with your head. It fucks with your head so hard. I love it. I love how it reminds you that satire does not have to be funny. Satire can make you want to curl up and cry. It does NOT pull its punches and I love it all the more for it. The closest we have to comedy is the incredibly self referential 15 Million Merits.
Think about it. How is the main character from 15 Million Merits NOT Charlie Brooker? It goes full circle, his attack on society becomes an attack on himself, a reference to how pathetic an individual he sees himself to be and how pathetic he sees the rest of us to be.
And then you have... Fuck, I cannot remember what the episode was called.
The stuff from last series. The one with the Android. That still sends shivers down my spine. And the one with all the phones. That one was evil, excellent, believable. I guess that is what I love the most about Brooker, hell, the most about all good Sci-Fi.
Its not about showing us the fantastic worlds we could inhabit. Fuck that. I want to see a good, believable Dystopia. I want to see the walls we build to hide ourselves from the wolves come tumbling down in a giant metaphor for the monsters within. Genetic mutants? Fuck that. Aliens? Meh. The unquenchable horrors of the human mind combined with a vicious lust for technology and dominance?
Now that is more my kinda style.