Is it that hard to find a virgin?

[dudycat1]

lucky you don't live in the united kingdom then.
I'm 13 and in year 9 and nearly everyone in my year (excluding the nerdy type people) have.
1. smoked weed.
2. drunk alcohol.
3. smoked tobacco.
4. had sexual intercourse.
I'm guilty of 1-3 and I'm not proud of it in any way, neither is my girlfriend who has also committed 1-3, what you need to under stand is that some people have done things like that in there life and that the majority of them will 1. regret it, or 2. not regret it but they won't do it once they reach a certain age.

 

[fenrizz]

From what I skimmed in this thread, quite a lot of you enjoy sloppy seconds and used goods.

Personally I don't go for used goods, since the previous handler usually ruins the product.

I like my women like i like my products: new and unused.

Yes, because woman are items and should be treated as such.
/sarcasm

Do you hold yourself to that standard?

The way you formulated your post seems to suggest that you do not.
If that be the case, then you are a bloody hypocrite.

And how the hell is a woman ruined by having sex?

 

[Mortier]

Seeing as most of this thread is basically just about the sex part...

I sort of get what you mean. For me, it's always been... weird I suppose. It simply makes me *cringe* whenever I think of the fact that someone's been there before me (<-- this basically haunts me). It somehow makes me feel less appreciated I guess. I'm not sure if that's what it comes down to for u, in any case.

Needless to say, I'm a virgin myself (age 20).

However, I can tell u this: whatever your 'standards' may be, or how you may think of people, there's bound to be someone out there who will make you think twice. Someone who will make you feel just happy about all this and expell your doubts.

Now I'm off to wander & wonder why I put up this post ._.

 

[Forgetitnow344]

But if your only aversion to having SAFE sex is the fact that you told yourself when you were 13 that you'd save yourself for a predetermined period of time, you're just inhibiting life.

Generally I agreed with your post, Lunch, except for this little bit. If a person doesn't want to have sex, that's not inhibiting life, it's simply a life choice. I've known a lot of people who save themselves for the right moment, and haven't found it yet. If you want your first time to be with someone special or at some specific point in your future, that's your prerogative, just like choosing not to drink or smoke until you're legal to do so. It's not inhibiting life.

You're right, but my phrasing must have been unclear. If you want to save yourself, that is okay. It's a choice you have to make on a case-by-case basis though. You can't just decide at some point, "And now I will not have sex for the next X years." You never know what life will throw at you or how you will change.

 

[DracoSuave]

My legs actually clenched at the thought of that.

I know, right? Guys don't realize the first time is not exactly going to be a picnic for her. Virginity is WAY overrated.

 

[DracoSuave]

I sort of get what you mean.

No you don't.

Needless to say, I'm a virgin myself (age 20).

And this is why.

People who don't know what sex is actually like are not in a position to decide on the cleanliness of stuff they're in no way knowledgeable of.

From what I skimmed in this thread, quite a lot of you enjoy sloppy seconds and used goods.

Personally I don't go for used goods, since the previous handler usually ruins the product.

I like my women like i like my products: new and unused.

You get to choose 1:

CHOICE 1 -- You're a hypocritical bastard for wanting to only have 'new and unused' women while being 'used and ruined' yourself...
CHOICE 2 -- You get off on ruining women
CHOICE 3 -- You're a killjoy who hates others who are willing to do what is natural and healthy and necessary for the survival of your species.

You can pick more than one if you like.

Look. You have sexual urges. Those are natural. Women have sexual urges. Those are equally as natural. Hating on women for acting on the same desires you yourself rub yourself out with in the morning is ultimately self-hating. Seek help.

 

[jaketaz]

I don't understand why you want this. There is nothing better about people that are virgins or haven't done illegal substances. I don't understand why any of that is morally wrong, and since you don't explain why you want these things, I'm assuming you don't understand that either.

 

[Forgetitnow344]

I sort of get what you mean.

No you don't.

Needless to say, I'm a virgin myself (age 20).

And this is why.

People who don't know what sex is actually like are not in a position to decide on the cleanliness of stuff they're in no way knowledgeable of.

This. I wish the Escapist had a like button.

I've had sex with exactly two partners, and both of them were virgins, so I really cannot speak on what it is like to actually FACE a path already blazed by previous adventurers. I'm not going to pretend to either. I do know that the reasons behind the fright of doing so is entirely about adequacy. Am I as big as her former partner? Does he look better naked than me? Will I last as long? It's been a while, I know I won't... Will that make her not want to ever do it with me again? There are a lot of anxiety-inducing questions that go with it, and I honestly hope I never have to face them (mostly because I'm in love with my current partner and I would like it to stay that way).

 

[DracoSuave]

See, I can understand the adequacy question... but this is what you realize: SHE thinks you're adequate, because she's all warm and naked and smelling very nice next to you. So... why worry?

EDIT: Not that you should run out and learn that... your happy relationship is what's important in the end... and it's not the virginity or nonvirginity that defines it... it's the fact it's two people who like each other and enjoy each other. So props, mate, and I tip my hat to you.

For others tho:

Virgin or not, you're sabotaging every relationship you enter if you're resentful of her gender because she has a pussy, or yourself because you have a cock.

 

[sky14kemea]

I havent smoked, or had sex yet, and I'm 19 years old :0

I'm pretty against smoking, even though all the women in my family have smoked at some point in their lives. I'm hoping to break that record with a clean slate. =P

I don't know about the drinking illegally bit though... Is it illegal if your mom encourages you? xD

 

[Jonluw]

Not on the internet, it isn't.
Hurr hurr.

[sub]God, what's with all the posts I've made today referencing my lack of a sex life?[/sub]

 

[btenkink]

Peace from the American NorthWest, best place to live!

Having married a virgin who had never smoked or done drugs or drunk illegally, I can say this: all of the above "qualifications" count for almost NOTHING. They are a tiny fraction of total personality. Relationships are so complex that to base everything on such a short list is often a set-up for disappointment.

Standards are good, but don't let them keep you from a truly fantastic person.

 

[Strife17O7]

What is wrong with the men in this thread?

A woman's self worth is not linked to her virginity.
A woman's self worth is not linked to her virginity.
A woman's self worth is not linked to her virginity.


Got that? Good.

Further to that, just because a woman has had sex with a guy/s before you does not mean that she takes sex lightly. It can simply mean that there was someone out there other than you with which she felt a special bond with. With almost 7 billion people on the earth, this shouldn't surprise you or anyone. Maybe she didn't have the foresight to see that a relationship wasn't going to last. Maybe she was raped. Maybe she considers emotional intimacy to be a much more special bond than just merely a physical one.

Maybe she just has the maturity to realise that sex is only one part of a stable, committed relationship.


And I HAVE to address this:

I wont be having sex before I am married. It is not because of some religious belief or anything, I just think that the idea of another man being inside of my wife trying to create a baby (or not) is a little bit weird. I think that when you have sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone who has been inside them before you. If I were to get a divorce, then no; I do not expect to remarry and/or have sex with another woman.

OP, your idea that being inside of a non-virgin is tantamount to having sex with everyone else she's ever had sex with is... ugh. Look, I'm trying to hold onto a lot of rage here. Just grow up. Protest all you want, but what you're saying there is that a woman's body is a tainted vessel once someone other than you has been inside it. That a woman who has had sex is just another sullied vagina, and eeeeewww after that you couldn't possibly view her as a human being with the capacity to love you, and not just a body part. You need to reexamine that idea. Now, immediately. It's fucked up.

And for someone claiming to see sex is a meaningful exchange of feelings, you've done a wonderful job of reducing it to just a physical act; call me crazy, but I don't think you can form an emotional attachment with the dude before you simply by having occupied the same vagina.

A more eloquent version of what I didnt have the balls to say- Op Im sorry but I find your whole "morality" to be midly repulsive.

EDIT="All men"? Kinda insulting tbh.

Yes. Yes to all of this.

There are two types of men who relish the thought starting a romantic relationship with virgins.

1- The sort who get off on breaking the hymen.

My legs actually clenched at the thought of that.

Heh....I know I certainly cringed a bit. /:> Anyway...I pretty much would hug you both for contributing to such a post. (As non-creepily as possible of course.)


Well...with this gargantuan mess of block-quotes, I believe I shall be exiting this..er...virginity discussion...thing. It seems to be making me irritable at certain points.

 

[Guardian of Nekops]

If I were to get a divorce, then no; I do not expect to remarry and/or have sex with another woman.

This seems like a much better idea before your first serious breakup.

50% of marriages end in divorce nowadays, often relatively quickly. Sure, no small number of those are due to bad choices, but some are bad choices that are VERY appealing to your typical white knight personality at the time. Contrary to popular belief, there is nothing YOU alone can do to prevent a divorce... pretty much any marriage can work, I do believe that, but it requires both people working at it. If she doesn't, then no matter what you do... well, you can find yourself out on the sidewalk with varying degrees of ability to get back up again.

This used to be my attitude, and I know how it is. I have a very serious case of white knight syndrome meself, and I know there's no changing your mind. I guess I'm not even talking to you now, but to you in ten, fifteen, or however many years... ignore this like I know you're gonna, but remember it for when you need it:

Just because you fumble love doesn't mean your life is over. You deserve to be able to move on and try to be happy, and looking for love is a part of that. Don't let anyone wall you off as "unclean," least of all yourself, because things didn't go the way you wanted.

Mourn, rebuild, and move forward once more. And though I hate to say it, I should probably add... get used to it. Unless you get lucky, it won't be the last time.

 

[Drodgyn]

I'm 25, didn't drink until I was 22; tried pot once and it was the worst experience of my life. I don't smoke cigarettes, but I do like hookah kind of a lot. I would like my first time to be with a virgin as well, but I get that finding a virgin girl in my age range is very unlikely. So I guess it's more of a matter at this point of finding someone I click with well and wouldn't have a problem with dating a 25 year old virgin. There's far worse things that can happen than having to move on from an idiotic standard.

 

[ThreeWords]

Snip

You seek out virginity as a requirement for a partner? When were you born? 1600?

What possible benefit do you think virginity would confer?

EDIT: This might be a reasonable requirement if you were, say, 15, and looking for a girl of your own age. But assuming she's old enough to have sex, why do you have to be the first?

Since people seem to care, I'm pretty much what you don't want. I drink, smoke cool stuff, and enjoy the pleasures of the flesh. Not to excess, mark you, and neither do I smoke, but I don't believe in holding back so someone else can have a nice pure little wife.


I would also support this esteemed writer:

What is wrong with the men in this thread?

A woman's self worth is not linked to her virginity.
A woman's self worth is not linked to her virginity.
A woman's self worth is not linked to her virginity.


Got that? Good.

Further to that, just because a woman has had sex with a guy/s before you does not mean that she takes sex lightly. It can simply mean that there was someone out there other than you with which she felt a special bond with. With almost 7 billion people on the earth, this shouldn't surprise you or anyone. Maybe she didn't have the foresight to see that a relationship wasn't going to last. Maybe she was raped. Maybe she considers emotional intimacy to be a much more special bond than just merely a physical one.

Maybe she just has the maturity to realise that sex is only one part of a stable, committed relationship.


And I HAVE to address this:

I wont be having sex before I am married. It is not because of some religious belief or anything, I just think that the idea of another man being inside of my wife trying to create a baby (or not) is a little bit weird. I think that when you have sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone who has been inside them before you. If I were to get a divorce, then no; I do not expect to remarry and/or have sex with another woman.

OP, your idea that being inside of a non-virgin is tantamount to having sex with everyone else she's ever had sex with is... ugh. Look, I'm trying to hold onto a lot of rage here. Just grow up. Protest all you want, but what you're saying there is that a woman's body is a tainted vessel once someone other than you has been inside it. That a woman who has had sex is just another sullied vagina, and eeeeewww after that you couldn't possibly view her as a human being with the capacity to love you, and not just a body part. You need to reexamine that idea. Now, immediately. It's fucked up.

And for someone claiming to see sex as a meaningful exchange of feelings, you've done a wonderful job of reducing it to just a physical act; call me crazy, but I don't think you can form an emotional attachment with the dude before you simply by having occupied the same vagina.

As for all the misogynistic crap on here, I don't have the time or the masochism to read it all, let alone respond.

 

[Jeremy Meadows]

Yeah, I was like that too til I realized that those people aren't fun at all.

 

[Acier]

I think the biggest issue i have with the "must be virgins" crowd, is that they treat sex like its something dirty to be ashamed of. Which is particularly ironic since they believe its a gift from god. I've seen people totally abandoned by their friends just because they "fell into sin." It's hypocritical and cruel, and it disgusts me. One of many reasons i'm not a christian.

I don't think it is dirty and shameful. I think it should have some meaning to it. Almost everyone of my friends have had sex before and I don't mind in the least. My moral doesn't come from any church, it comes from the background of my entire family getting pregnant and having a child before 17. I am the only person in my whole family who is 18 and has not got somebody knocked up which is a major accomplishment for me.

It can still be meaningful if she's not a virgin. And just because she's a virgin doesn't mean it will be meaningful. She could have had sex with only one person when she was 15 and never had a partner since and still care about you. Smoking and drinking I don't think will be that hard to find. But you should focus on the meaning of you relationship with a girl rather than the state of her hymen.

 

[Deviluk]

I did, although I did have to go 900 miles (From Uk, found here in Germany, now we live together!)

 

[RJ Dalton]

It's easy to find virgins. Just visit the hospital birth ward.

But seriously, don't think just because some dicks in your class say that all women have sex freely means it's true. It's like how all the people who smoke in high school will try to tell you everybody's doing it. It's just projection. The facts more than likely won't back them up.