Is it that hard to find a virgin?

[StarsintheBlood]

I've 17, a virgin, never gotten drunk (though I did have one drink on a few holidays, my mom was fine with it), and never even /seen/ drugs, let alone used them. Smoking grosses me out, my grandpa did it and the guy who lives beneath us won't stop doing it.

As for your morals, stick to your principles if that's what you really want. But try not to be judgmental or push people away just because they tried something different, made a mistake, or had sex before. There's nothing wrong with sex, and the only reason I wouldn't date a guy who's had it before is if I thought he'd try pressuring me.

I'm not a shut-in or unattractive (I hope), but I just know what I do and don't want to do. The lack of sex can be explained by my aesexuality, and illegal substances don't hold appeal to me. They dull your senses and make you act like an idiot- makes being the sober one at a party much more interesting anyway. XD

 

[inferioritycomplex]

This has been said before, but you are coming off as a bit of a prude. I lost my virginity when I was 17, started smoking(cigarettes) the day I turned 18, and started drinking within the last 6 months. However, I'm not a completely morally bankrupt twat. I don't know about you're area, but where I grew up there were A LOT more "straight edge" kids then kids who just fucked shit up; reason being: Most of them are liars. They say they do whatever to fit in. Is everyone having sex in high school? No. It's just assumed that anyone in my/your generation aren't as wholesome, as say in the 50's (which is a complete crock of shit, unless you lived under a rock back then). Anyway, to answer your question, no it is not. I loved the girl I had my first time with, and nothing bad happened. She was a virgin too and we split for reasons having nothing to do with our sexual relationship. Want to find a girl like that, then stop lazily looking around. Just don't demonize the rest of us.

 

[Creator002]

Unfortunately, mate, you're looking for someone who is most likely going to be religious and sometimes it'll be hard to find a non-smoking, alcohol-free virgin there too.
Every single person in my class (guy and girl) has had sex at least once, smokes and drink except two (myself included, though I drink[footnote]I'm of legal age in my country and I don't drink often. I've also never been drunk. Gotta love German-Australian tolerance to beer. [/footnote] because I'm of legal age) and, not to be mean, but the other person that's never had sex is, honestly, quite unattractive.

All that being said, though, it shouldn't be TOO hard to find a non-smoking, alcohol-free virgin. It'll be like Demon's/Dark Souls. A challenge. A challenge that will make you rage. A lot.

 

[KingsGambit_v1legacy]

So basically, what I am as is, are there people who ... hadn't had sex during their high school years?

There are quite a few but my Devil worshipping friends have probably sacrificed the majority of them in their Satanist rites. Sorry.

 

[Joseph Harrison]

Something similar had happened to me just a few months ago
I was a counselor at a summer camp and me and fellow counselors all ages 15-17 were playing never have I ever. And after a few rounds it turned out that I was the only one who had not done any drugs and every single person had at least gotten to third base. The Second part was not that suprising but the first part blew me away because none of us were of legal age and we were responsible for children. I don't want to sound judgemental but I was shocked.

This is why those of us that have overcome the brainwashing and fearmongering of our youth are very annoyed with the practice and the self-righteous prudes it produces. Where does it say that you have to responsible and in control 100% of the time? Where does it say that nothing bad will ever happen if you dont do ____. When I am being responsible I am probably not having (much) fun. When I am having fun I may not be doing something responsible/constructive. Moderation is the key.

I have no problem with someone being responsible for children or anything else that is important AND recognizing when it's ok to cut loose and do something that is irresponsible. The devil is in the details. You have to be able to decide when irresponsibility is appropriate and when it is not, and when you are cutting loose you have to be able to come back to being responsible. Again that pesky word "moderation" comes to mind.

This isn't about moderation or whats I'm not some self righteous prude, and if you want to smoke weed, or drink you can. I just thought that people responsible for the well being for children weren't also getting shitfaced every weekend with your friends. Someone who couldn't be bothered to follow the rules when it comes to underage drinking or smoking probably shouldn't be in charge of kids.

 

[Chewster]

If you ask me, I think your requirements are a bit absurd. At your age, finding a virgin is going to become more and more difficult. Regardless, why do they have to be that exact way? People can drink and use recreational drugs in moderation, even if you don't wish to. And why is the illegality of it such an issue? Would you be better with people who waited until that arbitrary age that the government says is cool for people to booze it up and smoke like a chimney?

I'd suggest, as innumerable others have pointed out, find someone who is responsible and give them a chance, regardless of their virgin status or desire to drink or smoke or whatever. Otherwise, prepare to be alone for a long time. Hell, I would say give anyone a chance. You may end up pleasantly surprised.

Virginity is overrated man. It is messy, emotional and generally really awkward. Eff that. Find yourself someone who enjoys life more, but doesn't overindulge in it.

EDIT:

Someone who couldn't be bothered to follow the rules when it comes to underage drinking or smoking probably shouldn't be in charge of kids.

This has to be one of the funniest things I've read in a good while. So people who drink underage will automatically be irresponsible with kids? Are they drinking alongside the kids, or before they have to look after them? If not, then what exactly is the issue here? Is breaking a rather arbitrary age differentiation bad for any other jobs people might have? How about piracy? Should people who illegally download films not have children in their ward either? I really am curious.

Honestly. "You broke a rule, ergo, you are bad with children". This is such utter nonsense.

 

[AdmiralMemo]

I'm not a shut-in or unattractive (I hope), but I just know what I do and don't want to do. The lack of sex can be explained by my aesexuality, and illegal substances don't hold appeal to me. They dull your senses and make you act like an idiot- makes being the sober one at a party much more interesting anyway. XD

+1
This is basically better than anything I could have said myself. I've never understood the absolute appeal of sex, either, and I think I could be considered pretty asexual myself. The media and culture seem to make it the be-all and end-all of everything. Yeah, sure. It's pleasurable. Why? Because it releases endorphins in your brain. You can release endorphins in all sorts of ways. Is it simply because it's so easy to do compared to some other ways? I mean, stick the pole in the hole, rub it around, and get happy. I doubt there's too much that's easier to do than that.

 

[DracoSuave]

The majority of this thread makes me sad for the human race.

So much hate towards the OP because APPARENTLY if you don't love random meaningless sex your the scourge of humanity. Jesus christ who I don't believe existed, what sucked the compassion out of your brains?

If you'r going to be a judgemental about it, at least have the basic common courtesy to understand what the hell you're talking about. Having premarital sex is not the same as having meaningless sex. It does not have to be random.

I am 19. Alchohol tastes like piss, I'm never going to smoke, and I've never had a girlfriend.
Now, apparently according to the rest of the world this makes me a stupid nerd who deserves nothing less than constant ridicule every day.

No, it means that you have absolutely no fucking clue what sex is, what emotions it can bring, what it does in a relationship. You have no frame of reference. That's not what the problem is... no one is mocking you for innocence.

What people are against, is when people who have NO CLUE what they are talking about then continue on and say dumb shit that implies that all sex is meaningless, as if you're some sort of expert on the subject.

I'll be blunt: You are out of your element, here.

Virginity is a weird thing. If your a woman its sacred, if your a guy who has it your the fucking devil.

Trust me... it's only like this for joyless shitpails who are afraid of their cocks. For those of us who have come to terms with the fact we have genitals, and they feel good when rubbed against or within other genitals... we don't hold to this stupid belief.

Virginity only matters to virgins and assholes and virgins who are assholes. No one minds if you're a virgin... it's the assholes we dislike.

I hate it too be honest. I would like to date a virgin like myself, I don't see what the big deal is. If you know where they hang out, please let me know :/

Thing is, you're inexperienced in relationships, and me telling you -why- you'd want to date a non-virgin won't make sense to you. You're young, sex... nay... relationships can be very scary. But dating a virgin means that you're dealing with someone who is herself inexperienced in that area. The idea of romantic love and pairbonding without sexuality coming into play is laughable, because that's the biological point of it. It's how we were made.

When you're choosing who you are going to marry, you are choosing a sexual partner. Those who don't understand sex don't understand this is what they are doing. It makes no sense.

 

[Harry Mason]

Dating anyone based on anything other than how much you like them and get along with them is self limiting and will only lead to unfulfilling, shallow relationships. The girl that is right for you and could end up being your best friend and closest ally just might have had sex before, and turning down 80% of your peers and potential love interests because you can't handle the thought of someone else having been with the person you love is immature and draconian.

If you really have to have a checklist of do's and dont's for potential romance that's that harsh, you probably don't have any business being in a relationship. It will only lead to pain on your part. My advice? Let yourself do some growing up first, then go test the waters when you're ready for them.

 

[Broady Brio]

I've never had sex with anyone ever, due to not trying.
I've never smoked before, my Dad is the reason why. He's unfit, his teeth brown.
As for drinking... Ah shit. I'm legally allowed to now! But I have illegally drank before.

 

[magnuslion]

So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs. Call me old school or call me weird, but it is just part of my moral system. And today, during my sociology class, we got on the topic of sex and dating. I told the class my stand on such and they all chuckled. When I ask what was funny, someone told me that the chance of finding a girl like that now-a-days is almost impossible and that I should just give up on it. And it hit me, every person in my class, which ranged from 9th grade to 12th grade, that everyone had drank beer illegally, smoked pot and chewed, or has had sex multiple times... except me. I could not believe it and even my teacher was not shocked in the least to hear that. He was actually agreeing with it. So basically, what I am as is, are there people who didn't illegally drink, smoke or who hadn't had sex during their high school years?

Edit: Since some one asked, I am from the west coast of the U.S. in Washington.

Edit II: As Azure-Supernova stated:

You're not after a virgin you're after someone responsible and faithful. You could meet a virgin and full well have glorious sex, only for her to turn around and cheat or not be a virgin at all. Surely virginity would fall behind the two afforementioned traits?

I suppose he's definition is a little more what I am looking for. I guess I could drop the virginity issue down a little if I could find faithful and responsible girl. I am still standing strong on not doing illegal drugs and drinking but I could give more leeway on virginity.

2011
Thinks he is going to find a virgin.
mfw

 

[DracoSuave]

People who don't know what sex is actually like are not in a position to decide on the cleanliness of stuff they're in no way knowledgeable of.

So, you're taking the Spock argument here: people cannot have an opinion about something that they have not experienced themselves. (I'm calling this the Spock argument based on Star Trek IV, where Spock would not give his opinion on death to McCoy because McCoy "did not have a common frame of reference" with which to understand it, i.e. McCoy hadn't died yet.)

Conversely, does it make sense to attack and remonstrate someone for enjoying an enjoyable activity, the likes of which are necessary for the survival of the species?

It's not the virgins I'm against... it's the virgins who are assholes. The ones that make statements like 'You're getting someone's sloppy seconds' and 'she's used goods' and all that tripe. They're not forming an opinion based on someone else's experiences... they're projecting hate on someone else HAS experiences.

Notice the commonality of language, the insinuation that half of our population are some sort of pariah because they dared engage in a sexual act. The insistance that the vagina is somehow a 'use once, then discard' item. Does that mean that every baby that is not born through c-section is dirty because his face passed against where a dick was once? REDICULOUS.

It isn't 'understanding something through others' experience.' It's 'finding an excuse to hate on someone different because their experiences are not one's own.' It's woman-hating bullshit, and it's due to complete ignorance.

It's bigotry, in short.

 

[StarsintheBlood]

I'm not a shut-in or unattractive (I hope), but I just know what I do and don't want to do. The lack of sex can be explained by my aesexuality, and illegal substances don't hold appeal to me. They dull your senses and make you act like an idiot- makes being the sober one at a party much more interesting anyway. XD

+1
This is basically better than anything I could have said myself. I've never understood the absolute appeal of sex, either, and I think I could be considered pretty asexual myself. The media and culture seem to make it the be-all and end-all of everything. Yeah, sure. It's pleasurable. Why? Because it releases endorphins in your brain. You can release endorphins in all sorts of ways. Is it simply because it's so easy to do compared to some other ways? I mean, stick the pole in the hole, rub it around, and get happy. I doubt there's too much that's easier to do than that.

I totally understand. Sex is just... physical, and I'm not too attracted to either gender. I'm not old fashioned or anything- people can have sex if they want and it's fine. But a relationship at my age, and with someone my age just sounds pointless. I don't expect anything from a teenage boy, and the media makes romance seem so vital. I guess it's great and wonderful, but if you never marry it's painted as some kind of failure, like life is incomplete without a relationship. Not true. Plus relationships just feel like a lot of hassle- I don't want someone constantly wanting my attention, for me to be a certain way, or just wanting things from me. I don't have commitment issues, I just don't want someone depending on me or expecting things from me when I have my own life. I guess it'd be nice to have a guy as independent as I am, but I'm not seeking romance out. Does that make any sense?

I know guys like that I'm a virgin because it makes it less intimidating when I'm inexperienced, but I've stayed a virgin this long because I just don't want sex, not because I'm scared or awkward or worried about being "pure." Wow, I just realized what a massive ***** I sound like. I need a nap.

 

[SilentCom]

I would suggest looking elsewhere for what you are seeking. Your standards and beliefs are your own and asking people on this forum is kind of like trying to gather support for gun control laws at a gun show.

I think your assessment is unfair.

Your advice is unsound. You're basically saying "When you have an idea in your head, go and ask people who already agree with you". That's not very expanding or character building at all. It doesn't end at "your standards and beliefs are your own" -- challenging your own standards and beliefs is the only way to test their validity. And, as brownstudies has very aptly shown us all, the center cannot hold in these beliefs. Not all opinions/preferences are created equal.

True, challenging your beliefs test their validity however it seems the OP is asking where he may find other people who share similar moral standards, not so much asking for people to challenge his beliefs.

Also, I do agree that beliefs, opinions, and preferences aren't equal because they are different. Also, because things are different doesn't necessarily constitute one as being better than the other. That is why I had stated his beliefs are his own and since many people here have different beliefs, he should not have to feel the need to be like everyone else. He knows what he believes in and is searching for better than any of us, therefore there is nothing wrong if he is searching for someone like him. This is also why I suggested he search somewhere else, someplace he can relate with people with similar standards. This is not to say he must leave the Escapist, he is most welcome to post here however it doesn't hurt for him to search elsewhere as well.