Is it wrong being a romantic? (take two)

[The Stonker]

Hey guys on the escapist the other day then I got quite insulted by some of my peers that were talking about sex with other women and they asked me if I would meet a girl and then seeking her out and talk to her for the sole reason of having sex with her. Because they believe that romance is dead that you can't fall in love with someone . Then enjoy all the benefits (I don't support the idealism of marrying and then bonking her) but rather that I would like to fall in love not just have sex with her for well just to have sex with her.
So I ask you escapists is it wrong being a romantic or more closely a dreamer?

Also they considered girls to be only tools to release your sexual tension.
When I say romantic I mean in a way that your passion exceeds beyond normal measure and that your always searching for the love that resides in your heart and women of course.

 

[Susan Arendt]

Hey guys on the escapist the other day then I got quite insulted by some of my peers that were talking about sex with other women and they asked me if I would meet a girl and then seeking her out and talk to her for the sole reason of having sex with her because they believe that romance is dead that you can't fall in love with someone and then enjoy all the benefits (I don't support the idealism of marrying and then bonking her) but rather that I would like to fall in love not just have sex with her for well just to have sex with her.
So I ask you escapists is it wrong being a romantic or more closely a dreamer?

Also they considered girls to be only tools to release your sexual tension.
When I say romantic I mean in a way that your passion exceeds beyond normal measure and that your always searching for the love that resides in your heart and women of course.

What people say and what they genuinely think are often two different things. It's not very cool for guys to admit to other guys that they genuinely want a soul mate, or that they have, you know, feelings. While I have met a few guys who genuinely only see women as dick holsters, they have all been broken in some way. The vast majority of males I know certainly enjoy sex, but genuinely want a companion, too.

Also, please use punctuation in future. Your post is an enormous run-on sentence and it's very difficult to follow your train of thought.

 

[delet]

In my mind, sex is only a secondary goal. I'd rather find someone who I can truly say that I love, someone who can say they love me back, than find a cheap one-night-stand. It's not that I don't want to have sex ever, it's just not at the top of my list of priorities.

I don't think there's anything wrong with looking for love, it's those who look only for sex that give guys a bad name...

 

[lacktheknack]

I'm a sex-in-marriage-only freak, so I think romantic involvement is incredibly important, and quite often it's integral to the pleasure of the woman in the relationship (many girls look for love overall in sexual relationships). And seeing how girls are, in fact, human, they deserve to enjoy sex in their own way as much as I do... (and before you say I'm jumping to conclusions about girls and their inclinations, I've been involved in a surreal sex-ed class in which all but one of the girls said they would have sex to "feel loved", so...)

 

[Julianking93]

In my mind, sex is only a secondary goal. I'd rather find someone who I can truly say that I love, someone who can say they love me back, than find a cheap one-night-stand. It's not that I don't want to have sex ever, it's just not at the top of my list of priorities.

I don't think there's anything wrong with looking for love, it's those who look only for sex that give guys a bad name...

Pretty much exactly what I was going to say.

Though, I'm not looking for a cheap one night stand at all. I'm actually looking for someone that I can say I love and loves me back.

In fact, I even want to save my first time for someone I really do love.

 

[The Stonker]

Hey guys on the escapist the other day then I got quite insulted by some of my peers that were talking about sex with other women and they asked me if I would meet a girl and then seeking her out and talk to her for the sole reason of having sex with her because they believe that romance is dead that you can't fall in love with someone and then enjoy all the benefits (I don't support the idealism of marrying and then bonking her) but rather that I would like to fall in love not just have sex with her for well just to have sex with her.
So I ask you escapists is it wrong being a romantic or more closely a dreamer?

Also they considered girls to be only tools to release your sexual tension.
When I say romantic I mean in a way that your passion exceeds beyond normal measure and that your always searching for the love that resides in your heart and women of course.

What people say and what they genuinely think are often two different things. It's not very cool for guys to admit to other guys that they genuinely want a soul mate, or that they have, you know, feelings. While I have met a few guys who genuinely only see women as dick holsters, they have all been broken in some way. The vast majority of males I know certainly enjoy sex, but genuinely want a companion, too.


Also, please use punctuation in future. Your post is an enormous run-on sentence and it's very difficult to follow your train of thought.

Hmm wait I notice you.....
PONY WOMAN! hehe I loved that tour around the fortress but I just wanted to say thank you all for answering my question and I'm quite honored that the nerd queen came and answered mine xD

 

[thahat]

im in a relationship with a girl i love. even though its not always easy -shes VERRY suspicious of my motives, while im just out to show her i love her ( no worries things are good, and we both are learning -

so id say no, girls are not just dickholes. i used to believe this, thinking that they are more evil on the inside then guys, so they would deserve to be something like that. experience, and age, tought me differently
now i KNOW their more evil on the inside XD and a lot more sharp then most men. but they also have wonderfull qualities, and rare girls have wonderfull personalities

in short, search for a girl you love, not just 'one that will do -did that earlier on in life'
how will you know you love her? if you want to make her hapy, no matter what, if you can go out of your way for her, if life itsself would seem gray without her. then you love a girl.

also, chivelry lives. at least with me, who will join me on this ?

 

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Now, I'm only 15, but I must say the need for sex in males these days is simply appalling. More than half of the guys in my school have already lost their virginity, which I guess is their choice, but I just find it disgusting. I am more than glad to admit that I am a romantic, and that I do believe in true love. The fact that it is harder to find these days will make it that much more rewarding when I do find it.

 

[CrashBang]

I'm definitely a romantic. I'm 20 now and have had 6 girlfriends (including my current gf) since I was 15 and slept with 5 of them (all bar my first gf) and sex was never the main goal. The main goal in obtaining a girlfriend should always be seeking a partner with whom you can share everything. It's that simple. Why do so many guys seem terrified of that?
Sex is an important and healthy part of a relationship. Without a healthy sex life a relationship suffers. But, as you can tell by my emphesis on relationships in that sentence, I do not agree with one night stands and other such shit. How do you benefit from that? You get your nut and walk away, leaving what could have been a great relationship filled with even more sex and intimate times, and go off to find your next potential fling? Bollocks, fuck that

 

[Susan Arendt]

I'm a sex-in-marriage-only freak, so I think romantic involvement is incredibly important, and quite often it's integral to the pleasure of the woman in the relationship (many girls look for love overall in sexual relationships). And seeing how girls are, in fact, human, they deserve to enjoy sex in their own way as much as I do... (and before you say I'm jumping to conclusions about girls and their inclinations, I've been involved in a surreal sex-ed class in which all but one of the girls said they would have sex to "feel loved", so...)

Well, here's the thing. Females are very big on shows of affection, of illustrations of caring. Males are typically not very good at that, because society teaches men that shows of emotions are a sign of weakness. The unfortunate tendency, therefore, is for girls to equate sex - something guys are willing to do - with caring. And while it certainly can be, it isn't always.

Hmm wait I notice you.....
PONY WOMAN! hehe I loved that tour around the fortress but I just wanted to say thank you all for answering my question and I'm quite honored that the nerd queen came and answered mine xD

Very glad you enjoyed the tour.

 

[lacktheknack]

I'm a sex-in-marriage-only freak, so I think romantic involvement is incredibly important, and quite often it's integral to the pleasure of the woman in the relationship (many girls look for love overall in sexual relationships). And seeing how girls are, in fact, human, they deserve to enjoy sex in their own way as much as I do... (and before you say I'm jumping to conclusions about girls and their inclinations, I've been involved in a surreal sex-ed class in which all but one of the girls said they would have sex to "feel loved", so...)

Well, here's the thing. Females are very big on shows of affection, of illustrations of caring. Males are typically not very good at that, because society teaches men that shows of emotions are a sign of weakness. The unfortunate tendency, therefore, is for girls to equate sex - something guys are willing to do - with caring. And while it certainly can me, it isn't always.

There you go. From the mouth of a woman, romantic tendencies are important.

 

[The Lost Big Boss]

Also, please use punctuation in future. Your post is an enormous run-on sentence and it's very difficult to follow your train of thought.

My mind almost ran out of breath trying to read that whole thing.
OT: Being me it is very hard for myself to show genuine affection for some one. I find it awkward to get on and emotional level with another person, let alone a girl that I have feelings for. Thats just the way it is with dudes I think, (For me anyway), guys tool on other guys who are not just emotionless dick heads who want something other than a fuck now and then.

 

[Folio]

You can't really enjoy sex if it's not with someone you really love. They don't know that.

Now let them be. Let them fill the hollow feeling they have. Eventually it will not be enough. Some are content with their freedom. Some just want to commit.

It takes a while to learn that relationships can be taken seriously (it takes the age of 20-25 to learn that)

So be romantic! Be a hero! The right example to all of us! GOOOOO!

 

[DarkLordofDevon]

I find especially with the nerd/geek crowd (whatever the correct term is, I can never remember which means what...) romance seems to more acceptable, and I would hazard even the norm. Perhaps being apart from society allows people to become more open and break way from the preconceived ideas of supposed 'manlyness'.

At least from my circle of friends all of those in relationships are romantic in their own way, or at least make a good stab at it. I can genuinely see those relationships lasting, and I'd say that's a noble goal to strive for. Even if it does go wrong if you start with the intention to last it's a far better way to build a relationship.

Plus I don't get guys who jump from one woman to another. Surely it's better to build up something with someone who understands you and can anticipate your needs and you their's rather than always moving around to people who never really get you. Each to their own I guess.

 

[TheDoctorsCompanion.]

It's not wrong to be romantic! I think people that think it's wrong are just jealous because they have yet to feel that way about another person. Either that, or they have before and they got their heart broken. I'm madly in love with my boyfriend, and I strongly believe that we are soul mates, I didn't even think about having sex with him until about three months into our relationship. But we're gonna wait til we're married cause we're cool like that
Actually, it's because I'm Mormon and he's Baptist, but religious is interchangeable with cool, right? Haaaaaaaaaaaa.

 

[JanatUrlich]

I like sex but definitely do not want a relationship and yes, I am female.

I go on dates and stuff, I just make it clear that I'm not looking for anything serious. What I want is sex and maybe a laugh or two. So yeah, I guess I'm not particularly romantic. Maybe I'll change as I get older, but for now I am perfectly happy with a purely sexual existence.

 

[gl1koz3]

Hard times understanding what you try to say read 3 times needed it could have been read many times easier read with punctuation well you see.

Anyway, when women come into a relationship, it's because, even if not consciously, they want sex. They can want sex depending on many different traits of the opposite sex. But, foremost, you have to act manly. I.e. not crying about your feelings and just have fun times with opposite sex.

 

[Nwabudike Morgan]

You can't really enjoy sex if it's not with someone you really love. They don't know that.

You can still enjoy casual sex, but it is exponentially better with someone you love. Sex is not a wonderful, beautiful thing, or an expression of love, or anything like that. It's awkward and kind of ridiculous, you look stupid doing it, there are fluids and noises and smells, it has a tendency to make you shout out really stupid shit and all sorts of other less-than-wonderful, potentially highly embarrassing things that make you feel really self-conscious, whether you realize it or not. When you have sex with someone you're close to, someone you are totally and completely comfortable with, the things you'd have going through your head while having sex with someone you just met that take you out of the moment go away and you're able to relax and have fun with it, which means you'll truly enjoy it.

 

[Dexiro]

I find it horrible that anyone would want sex without any emotional involvement, at the very least you have to be good friends with someone.
I'm suspecting that your friends might just be saying that just to increase their "manly man" status.

There's nothing wrong with being romantic, don't let anyone convince you otherwise!

 

[likalaruku]

To be fair, the only reason I would pursue a man is for kids & an extra paycheck that went into bills & a decent sizded rental home, aka "the business of marriage." If we came to be close friends in the partnership, I would call that love; the kind you have with family. But I wouldn;t jump into it; don't want to end up hating eachother & getting a divorce that splits up the estate & kids. Then again, I can do the same witha woman, donate eggs to pass on the family dna, addopt kids to raise that are already past the diaper stage..... I'm also a total germophobe; finding someone I could stand to touch is going to be difficult enough, so casual sex is out of the question.