Is it wrong to ask out a professor?
- Thread starter Strain42
- Start date
Awwww.... I was gonna post that! Still makes me laugh though.Seabear said:
OT: Sure, go for it. After you graduate I don't see the harm in asking, and there's nothing wrong with just asking her. Who knows,she just might say yes!
Good luck dude!
Good luck, Strain! I would definitely advise waiting until you've got your degree; "talking in the halls" is not an close step to dating, so making sure that it is easy for you not to be forced together is the best option.Strain42 said:You sound like you're trying to give a pep talk to someone who's about to rob a convenience store.The Unworthy Gentleman said:What's stopping you? The possible repercussions from it. When did living lose it's place to maintaining life? Yeah, stumble through each day comfortably, don't do the things you aren't supposed to, follow the rules, be healthy and maybe, just maybe, you'll live long enough to regret your entire life.
Or take the shot and do what you want, regardless of reasoning.
You actually have to be kidding me, CAPTCHA.
Sorry that I don't see me risking graduation and possibly ruining someones career for a couple dates as the preferable option.
I understand what you're trying to say, but it doesn't really apply to this situation.
I think I'll ask her out, but I'll probably wait a little while. Maybe not until May, but close enough to where we can discuss the options once I'm out of school.
Wish me luck, people.
And Unworthy Gentleman: CAPTCHA saw your avatar, and figured that one foreign language is pretty much like another.
I would say no in this case. In general the divide by 2 add 7 rule is fine. (Or subtract 7 multiply by 2 if you are going the other way around.) However with students and professors there is this huge power differential. Even if you are not *her* student she will probably still think of you as *a* student and thats a problem.
If you aren't her student, then I see no problem with it. If you still feel inclined to be cautious, wait until you are no longer at the school and ask her out. I really see no issue either way though.
ehhhhhh, in my opinion it comes down to how big the difference in age is. I can't really say with the info that you gave me.
history favors the brave, you may as well other wise youll reget thinking latter in life what if
Feel free to ask her out before you leave but, if you get a yes you should wait till you're full done at the college before actual dating. My only issues was if the Prof was in some was in your lesson plan even if it was just another Algebra teacher that wasn't your own.Strain42 said:
Go for it.
The bonus of uni is that by the end of the 3rd year lectures arnt really superiors any more just peers with more experience. Even if you were her student, we have external moderators who mark the papers to ensure no bias occurs, the admin just needs to make sure that the relevant students paper is defiantly marked.
The taboo is dumb. The primary issue with it in the past was a combination of bias, blackmail or abuse of power. The only reason these things now persist is BECAUSE of the taboo. If noone care youd just say, "sorry, this isnt working out for me any more we're breaking up", follow this by informing the relevant admin if you thought they might be a dick about it and that would be the end of it.
The bonus of uni is that by the end of the 3rd year lectures arnt really superiors any more just peers with more experience. Even if you were her student, we have external moderators who mark the papers to ensure no bias occurs, the admin just needs to make sure that the relevant students paper is defiantly marked.
The taboo is dumb. The primary issue with it in the past was a combination of bias, blackmail or abuse of power. The only reason these things now persist is BECAUSE of the taboo. If noone care youd just say, "sorry, this isnt working out for me any more we're breaking up", follow this by informing the relevant admin if you thought they might be a dick about it and that would be the end of it.
Not until you are finished depending on the rules of the college as some colleges are strictly no lecturer/student relationships full stop, no if ands or buts. No matter how hot and curvy they are.
So yeah even aside from that don't crap where you eat so doubly wait until college is over.
So yeah even aside from that don't crap where you eat so doubly wait until college is over.
You're not her student, and you're graduating. Go for it. 
The fact that a breakup can't damage you, her, or either of your reputations more than a normal breakup would, means that this is just another romance situation. Your occupations don't matter. Try and see if it works out.
If you were her student, I'd say that there's nothing morally wrong with it unless you were trying to get special treatment by dating her, but it would still be so awkward and potentially bad for either of you that I'd say it wasn't a good idea.
The fact that a breakup can't damage you, her, or either of your reputations more than a normal breakup would, means that this is just another romance situation. Your occupations don't matter. Try and see if it works out.If you were her student, I'd say that there's nothing morally wrong with it unless you were trying to get special treatment by dating her, but it would still be so awkward and potentially bad for either of you that I'd say it wasn't a good idea.
If you're not one of her atudents, then how is this even a question? Don't be stupid, if you're interested, go for it. Her being a teach has absolutely nothing to do with anything if you're not her student.
If your school happens to have some policy on no student/teacher relationships regardless of who has what classes, then don't. Worth checking into just in case.
If your school happens to have some policy on no student/teacher relationships regardless of who has what classes, then don't. Worth checking into just in case.
* Intellect is meh. Of course the smarter a woman is, the better, but intellect is not a priority. Is she giving, does she have her life in order, does she have class, or integrity? Intellect is only ever a bonus, nothing more.Strain42 said:
* How old is this woman? Are you willing to be 40 when she is 60? As both of you get older, the age gap effectively gets wider.
Of course the first question/point is after you get to know her, so at this point it doesn't matter since you are only asking whether to ask her out.
As long as you have "When I Kissed The Teacher" as your 'couple song', I will say... GO FOR IT BUDDY!
As a teacher myself, I would strongly recommend that you don't, at least not while you're a student. Once you've graduated, you're free to, but asking out your current professor would put her in a very awkward position. Don't make any romantic moves towards her until you've graduated, and don't take it too hard if she says something along the lines of "no, because it would be weird/ look bad".
Other than possible negative views of her going on a date with a younger man who is a student at the school I see no problem with it.Strain42 said:
This is of course assuming you mean a college professor. If you're in High School then I'd say it'd be better left alone. It would only be bad for her if her superiors or coworkers found out.
My 2 cents is that if she's a professor in your department, you should wait until graduation, or at least plan the first date for after graduation. If she's not in your department though, I say go for it.Strain42 said:
Good luck, whatever you decide.
A few caveats (from a teacher):Strain42 said:
1. If you were one of her students in the past, expect that she might want to put some time between. If it even appears, to a casual observer, you had something going on while in the teacher-student relationship, that can cause her major problems professionally. Getting into a relationship too soon after leaving the class can raise suspicion that something improper was happening before.
2. Do not, under any circumstances, tell people that you're asking her out. If you've already told friends/classmates that you might, say nothing else. Ask, and see what happens. If nothing happens, she will at least have the security of knowing that she hasn't been made the unwitting victim of the Rumor Mill. If something happens, she will have time to set the record straight in her own way without having to catch up to the aforementioned Rumor Mill.
3. Realize that this situation is far, far trickier for her than it is for you, and that she can be punished for any mishandling on your part. That means your mistakes are more likely to hurt her than you, so tread carefully and let her call the shots.
