is my dad wrong in this situation?

[Lawllerskater]

Hey, like I said. It's all opinionated.
You can think that using slurs is a bad method. You can also think using the corrective method of training dogs (i.e. Usage of collar correction or shock collars) is bad.
You can think that nations should use TEDs (Special shrimp nets that allow turtles to swim through them without being injured or caught) in order to harvest shrimp instead of just normal nets.
It's all opinions. The thing is we shouldn't have to enforce how one should parent a kid just because that's how WE see "good parenting". I don't know what "good parenting", because I'm a 20 year old college student. What the hell do I know about parenting? All I know is that my father used slurs such as "pussy" if I weren't up to the challenge. He used it in a more playful manner, but I'm not psychologically scarred. Heck, I'm glad he pushed me. He helped me accomplish into getting into a good college. He helped me get into martial arts and achieve my black belt. Though, all of this aside I'm not saying this is a GREAT method. But at the same time I'm not saying it makes him a bad parent either.
You are all entitled to your own opinions, I get it.
Heck, you are all judging a father over one scenario about trying to get his son to toughen up. You are taking this single situation and coming to the conclusion he is a bad parent.

You know what, I'll play your game then.
You are all horrible people who are short sighted.
You are not entitled to your own opinions, because I think that you are wrong. You are horrible people.

 

[kyle_silver]

He's an Ass, a Massive one..And I've known people like him. Good luck dealing with him, it'll get better soon.

 

[HDi]

reminds me of this...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/kristen-wolfe/dear-customer-who-stuck-u_b_1190690.html

 

[madster11]

If you were another year or 2 older and you didn't reach in and grab it, i'd call you a pussy.
But at 14 you're totally ok with not wanting to do various quasi-dangerous things yet.

Deal with it for another year, at which point it should be easier to get a job (apply at McDonalds - they're big into that whole 'use kids cause they're cheap' thing) and then start saving.
By the time you're mid to late 16 to 17 if you ever get too pissed off with your parents, just leave. You'll have enough money to live on your own for a while, and you could always crash with your friends or other famiry.

 

[Tryforlive]

most places will not hire until you are 15, and my dad was a huge douche to me i told him to shut the fuck up cause i may not have been as strong as he was but i had 3 times the life experience and 5 times the smarts.

 

[Monkeyman O'Brien]

Heh, my dad called me a poof for using nice shampoo/conditioner and moisturising.
Not nastily but just as a general jibe. Shut him up quite nicely when I landed a 16 year old missus...
My advice, just go with it. Steal the thunder as it were. Kinda takes the fun outta mocking someone when they do it themselves, plus if he really hates homosexuals then it should freak out knowing he raised his son to be one.
That or you could always just accuse him of projecting his latent homosexual issues onto you.

 

[distortedreality]

OT: slap your dad some sense into him.

Pansy slapping a manly man = not good times for pansy.

 

[Fasckira]

Take burning foil out of oven through use of tongs, tea-towel, oven-mit, whatever.
Fling burning foil at dad's face.
Empty lasagne onto his lap.
Slap the now empty dish across his face.
Yell in his face, "Whos the fucking pansy now, *****?"
Spit on his face.
Light up a cigarette, inhale deeply and shake your head in disgust at him.

I guarantee he will never mess around with you again.

 

[Lawllerskater]

And you might even think beating homosexuals is bad! It's all just opinion, right?

Whiny bullshit. Nothing is being enforced on anyone. The pathetic cop out of relics who know their opinions are pretty bad.

And in the end you seem to think sexist gender roles are a-okay. I'd say that's a failing.

I'm talking about the language he uses. Presumably he did not have a sudden fit and uncharacteristically blurt things out.

Oooh look, a pretty little straw man! I never said no one was entitled to their own opinion. Playing the victim here? Pathetic.

In a technical sense, yes it is an opinion. Having an opinion and acting upon an opinion in a over-the-top manner are two different things.
Some people don't like homosexuals. It's their religious view. Get over it. The world is full of different viewpoints and it isn't going to change. People are taught different things and have different views upon it. If someone thinks murdering children is good, well then yes it's still a god-damn opinion. I don't get what's so complex about what is considered an opinion.

I also never said I thought "sexist gender roles are a-okay". You seem to take my argument and slap on your extended version of the story onto it. I'm all for gay rights. I'm all for gender equality. I understand slurs are hurtful terms, but that's all beside the point. I just don't think one saying these slurs should be stamped with the title of "Horrible Father of the Year". There are plenty worse fathers out there. Go yell at someone beating or raping their infant. I'm Chinese. People have called me a *****, or have made asian stereotypes against me. Sure, I don't like it, but I'm not going to go and think they're going to grow up and suddenly become the WORST FATHER IN HISTORY because they were angry and resorted to name calling.

I wasn't playing a victim. I was making a dumb joke, mocking you. Maybe I should've put quotes around things or made the font more playful. Eh. I guess sarcasm and jokes are too much for people in this OMG SO SRS MATTER.
Seriously, this is such a small stupid case. A dad tells his kid to stop being a [insert derogatory name here]. This isn't a grim topic. This is just a common thing in America.
His dad isn't a bad father. He resorted to name calling.
He didn't beat the shit out of his kid.
Sweet baby Jesus I'm feel like I'm talking to people with paper hearts.
You're all probably going to hate me because I called your hearts paper now.
Ohhhh nooo, I'm going to grow up and become a horrible father! Someone stop me! Paper hearts!

 

[Cale Lively]

Dont try and out tough him out smart him, trust me it will work the best. Also stand up to him, hes being a bully you have to stand up to a bully, if he hits you call CPS

 

[Guffe]

Fathers actually treat their kids like this

Holy balls, I wouldn't listen to him too much if I was you.

 

[direkiller]

You're 14 and he's crazy. You don't tell a 14 year old kid to reach in an 400 degree oven. You also don't expect a 14 year old kid to work because legally, you can't. Child labor laws and everything.

you can work at 14
just not a 40h work week

 

[Lawllerskater]

I am over it and into dealing with it. You point it out when they're wrong and you don't let up. You give them a hard time for holding backwards views and you make it clear you don't find it acceptable. Ostracize them.

Considering you brushed over that and seemed to find no problem with the idea of using homophobic slurs to push his son to fit one of those gender roles I thought it was an easy enough inference. You seemed to think trying to get him to fit into one was a decent enough excuse for his behavior. I think it shows that his goals are bad ones, contributing to the image of him being a poor parent. And there's no reason for me to not talk about this guy as well as worse ones. It's not as if I'm going to run out of words.

Considering how often people use that kind of stupid argument seriously...

Why would it need to be grim to comment? You seem to be under the misapprehension that posting big scary words against something is only fit for the most horrible of crimes. I'd rather think it's applicable to just about anything. Words are cheap.

Maybe overall he isn't too bad. But his attitude is a bad one to show.

You're really a terrible confused person. I'm against him trying to instill homophobic and sexist attitudes in his kids.

Again and again, I must say. It is not that I view his comments overall "acceptable" or politically correct. What I am saying is that these comments do not define him overall as a father. You are taking one moment in history, where a father calls his son names, and you are taking this and blowing it up to such a degree that you have concluded that this man is not "worthy" of fathering this child. By not worthy I mean you don't see him as an agreeable level. AKA BAD.

What I am saying is that this is most likely taken out of context. Who is to say this father ACTUALLY believes homosexuals are inferior? Maybe he had an off day and was stressed out. Maybe this was a singular event. This single event shouldn't be the defining moment where we should grade this man's performance as a father.
Also, this doesn't even show that his goals are bad ones.
Just because someone would LIKE to see someone become an iconic figure in their eyes doesn't make them have bad intentions. I'm sure you'd want your kids to be something. You wouldn't want them to be serial murderers. You'd stray them away from that. You'd probably want your kids to be open minded individuals who are successful and happy. But that would be your opinion. His father was raised in a different era. Even though times change, this doesn't necessarily mean the people change with it. And iconic image for a son to a father would be a masculine, successful one. This doesn't make him a bad father. He has good intentions for his son. They may not meet with the current generation's opinions of gender roles, but he as a father wants to see his son successful (most likely). Not everyone is as flexible as others when it comes to the changing times. That's why there are so many old racist people. It's just something that IS. We can't really change it, so we just have to live with it. They aren't necessarily bad people, but just have lived in a different period. I mean, do you think that the majority of the people in the 50's were horrible people? It was common norm for them to think that women had their place and men had their own.

For the argument you're making, I'd imagine the subject to be much more grim, yes. You are jumping to such a far conclusion that I would only imagine that the subject would match how vast your conclusion would be. The father called his kid names. The worst thing I would think was that maybe he's a grumpy old man, not necessarily a bad father.

In the end of it all, it seems you have a problem with name calling. That seems to be the theme of your argument at least.
Did you know that the words "idiot", "imbecile", and "moron" are all derived from low IQ levels, and thus denote that of mental retardation? So in a sense if you're saying "don't be a moron" you're telling them to not be a person with an IQ between 51 through 70. Which can mean don't be mentally handicapped...which some people can't help...which can be offensive. My point is that all sources of name calling come from some negative denotation that can relate back to some sort of ethnic or possibly crippled group.
If you believe name-calling in anyway, shape, or form is bad, then okay. Your argument is valid in my book.
If you believe that SOME name calling is okay, then your argument will forever fall flat to me, because when it boils down to it all, this all seems to revolve around the issue of name-calling and their references. Whether these names can hurt someone's feeling or not.

 

[viranimus]

Yeah, dont go onto a forum where the average demographic of users is in the 15-22 year old demographic and ask for reasonable info oh parental techniques because invariably you end up inundated with soft hearted responses, cries at the parents authority being more inhumane than it actually is and suggesting that more psyche damage is done by trying to shape your child than to neglect the child and allow their inadequacies to flourish. From those who are at least a decade or better of having first hand exp in raising a teenage child.

We already have a generation filled with these ineffectual adult children because of talk like this. We do not need more.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

my father thinks that im a "pansy", a "fudge packer", a "******" and various other derogatory slang terms aimed at gay people, because i am not as strong or manly as he was when he was a boy. heres the problem: i was making lasagna, and a piece of tin foil fell into the hot depths of the oven. he then tells me to reach into the active, 400+ degree oven, past the hot coil thing that creates heat, and grab the foil. now, i would have done it, were it not for the fact that he insulted me when i told him of the issue, yet he would not do it either, and then proceeded to play solitaire on his phone. his only excuse is that he works, and i do not. i am 14, and have applied for many jobs, yet no one will accept me because im too young, they say. what should i tell him?

So to be a man you need to be hulking slab of hairy meat who doesn't have any common sense?
Your Dads an asshole. I've met people like him before throughout my life. I am very slender, 5'11" and only weigh 145lbs. I'm 25 years old yet still could pull off what gays would call a twink. (very young looking guy) These insults will happen to you quite a bit in your life, but they should never come from your family. Especially not like this.

If this situation closely matches others that you have had with your father he is abusive. The kind of crap may of been tolerated 50 years ago, but not now. You can be taken away from him for this instance. As for the whole work thing my father was the same way. Perhaps its jealousy. They only see us being able to spend our lives enjoying ourselves, while they can't. Which isn't true at all, they don't realize school is work for us, but thats all they see.

I would seriously consider counseling. Reporting your father will cause major issues as well as much pain within the family. It should be used as a last resort, but you have to do something. This is a serious issue.

 

[Malkavian]

What a douche, your dad. However, depending on how that tinfoil fell, it wouldn't be very hard to pick up, since tinfoil doesn't easily heat. I've had dishes with tinfoil over them in the oven for 30 minutes, and I could still take off the tinfoil with my fingers, no problem.

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

...I'm doubting the authenticity of this story. It reads like fiction. If everything said in the OP is straight, then your dad's an abusive dickhead. And an insecure one at that.

 

[mrhappy1489]

Your dad is a bit of a prick. Personally you really just need to either, ignore him and just block him out entirely or confront him and tell him off. Parents can really warp their children with this kind of behavior and it isn't fair on the child, ie you. On the other hand, just use tongs you goose.

 

[PaganAxe]

Lasagna? What kind of manly man eats lasagna anyway?


More importantly:

...I'm doubting the authenticity of this story. It reads like fiction. If everything said in the OP is straight, then your dad's an abusive dickhead. And an insecure one at that.

Considering that people post stories like the OP all the time (can't say it happens a lot here because I haven't been here long enough), I also think this is all BS. And is there any reason why this is in gaming discussion? Or why the OP has not responded to anything anyone else has said?

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

Wait until he is old and then put him in the cheapest nursing home you can find.

Alternatively, wait until he's old an in a wheelchair, then take him on a trip to the top of a nice rolling hill, aim him at the nearest duck pond and conveniently "forget" to lock the wheels...

Cap: Cop an attitude...Yeah that feel appropriate. XD