Is punishing a kid consider abuse?

[Rin Little]

I know the video you're talking about and I commend the guy for actually doing something to teach his spoiled little ***** of a daughter exactly what happens when you try to pull shit over on your parents. And he didn't lay a finger on his daughter so how in the hell is that considered abuse in the first place? Personally, I wouldn't jump to spanking a child for doing something wrong, but if they keep pushing it and don't learn from less severe punishments then what else can you do?

 

[anthony87]

more or less those are the reasons why I don't consider it abuse. Only addition I would make is that I was spanked as a child and looking back at it I don't think it was abusive behavior.

You didn't answer my first question: if US laws changed, would your opinion of spanking change?

What do you call a 200 lb man who hits his defenseless 50 lb kid?

Yep, a coward. Now a 200lb man that disciplines his kid by spanking is a normal parent.

Are you claiming that spanking is not hitting, or that kids being spanked are not defenseless?

Yeah. Spanking is technically hitting.

Still doesn't make it abuse though.

 

[Cpu46]

No, spanking a child is not "beating them".

beat·ing
n.
An act of repeated hitting or striking.

How is that not spanking?

Because a spank is generally a single strike to a nonvital area. If someone pulls out a belt and just starts indescriminately whacking a child then yes it is beating and is horrible. Getting smacked once or twice on the rump for doing something wrong is a fair punishment.

 

[SFMB]

I agree, that beating a child without a reason is wrong, but since corporeal punishment became abhorrent, the kids have gone worse. Fear is a good motivator. "Time-out"-benches and similar "you-killed-a-cat-so-no-internet-tonight" solutions do not work. Sure, your little angel might be exemplar of goodness, good for you, but since parents have became too afraid to punish their own progeny and shoving the blame on the society itself, too many kids have lost the ability to behave. Although, they might never had had one in the first place. In my youth, when I knew I`d screwed up, I could hear in my mind the awful bellowing of my father. That was enough to keep me from doing stupid things and acting like a fucking brat to my elders and peers. Mind you, I was slapped by my parents only a couple of times, but after those lessons, I never gave them any reason to repeat the punishment.
Please; slap your children when they fuck up. You`re doing them and yourselves a big favor!

 

[Keybladeking57]

No, and to think otherwise is to make certain your kid turns out to be a worthless, uncivilized, joke of an adult that no one worth their salt would want to be around. There's a significant difference between abuse and punishment, and this thread is completely worthless for that very reason

 

[Upbeat Zombie]

Hell no. I think kids today aren't being punished enough. A parent shouldn't just let a child run rampant and do whatever they want. If a kid doesn't know that they are doing something wrong or bad they will keep on doing it. Then you end up with a bunch of spoiled kids who think they can do anything they want. Which I think there are already to many kids who act like that.

 

[DjinnFor]

No it's not abuse, because unlike a wife, a child has to learn morals in life. They need to learn what's right and what's wrong. If a child isn't disciplined in some way, they'll never get anywhere.

You really think that discipline is the only way to demonstrate morals? By actively harming someone (i.e. the opposite of moral behavior), you attempt to instruct morality?

Ah, but wait, that isn't really a demonstration of morals, is it? That's more like the opposite of a demonstration: behave in the exact opposite way that you want the child to.

Ever see a little brat on the bus while the mother just sits there on her phone? yeah that's what not disciplining a child does.

Not really. It's what bad parenting does, which may or may not have anything to do with the level of discipline the parent metes.

I'll have you know that I have yet to strike, yell at, or speak negatively towards my 6 year old, and amazingly enough, she has yet to do the same to me. Funny how that works out.

If a kid doesn't know that they are doing something wrong or bad they will keep on doing it.

How does punishment change that, exactly?

Either you tell the kid that he or she is doing something wrong and why, and then they know, or you don't, and then they don't know. Punishment won't suddenly change what they know or don't know. What punishment does is cow the child into doing what you want them to, and that's all. Don't try and pretend that punishment is anything more than threats and intimidation, because it isn't. What you can argue is that threats and intimidation are required to change the child's behavior for the better (which flies into the face of the science of the human brain, but whatever).

 

[cdstephens]

There's a thin line between discipline and abuse. Anger helps discipline to cross that line. If discipline is done when you aren't angry but instead are in a rational, calm state of mind, then it won't likely turn into abuse.

At the same time, there are often better ways to encourage a child to behave, like positive reinforcement. Whether punishment or reinforcement should be applied is a case by case basis, since each child and each situation is different.

 

[Upbeat Zombie]

How does punishment change that, exactly?

Either you tell the kid that he or she is doing something wrong and why, and then they know, or you don't, and then they don't know. Punishment won't suddenly change what they know or don't know. What punishment does is cow the child into doing what you want them to, and that's all. Don't try and pretend that punishment is anything more than threats and intimidation, because it isn't. What you can argue is that threats and intimidation are required to change the child's behavior for the better (which flies into the face of the science of the human brain, but whatever).

I'm not saying you don't tell the kid know what they did wrong and just punish them. What I'm saying is if you have told the child on several occasions to not do something, and you have explained it many times why you shouldn't do said thing. Yet if they refuse to listen or do as asked (because kids can be little shits) then they should be punished. If a kid can behave well because you have asked them to not do something that's great. But many kids do not always do want you ask them to do. What your saying is if you have asked a kid to do something and they refuse, your part of the parenting is over at that point? That if a kid is told to not do something, but they do it anyway then you should just let them do whatever they want? I'm sorry but it's that kind of thinking, that kids should just be allowed to do whatever without being punished is a horrible idea (IMO) and actually pretty bad parenting. The idea that children are so special that you shouldn't tell them no or take something away from them, is what leads to those kinds of kids in grocery stores, or other public places screaming at their parents, and throwing tantrums over not getting something they wanted. I don't condone a parent ever hitting their kids, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't discipline them.

 

[Bat Vader]

No it's not abuse, because unlike a wife, a child has to learn morals in life. They need to learn what's right and what's wrong. If a child isn't disciplined in some way, they'll never get anywhere.

You really think that discipline is the only way to demonstrate morals? By actively harming someone (i.e. the opposite of moral behavior), you attempt to instruct morality?

Ah, but wait, that isn't really a demonstration of morals, is it? That's more like the opposite of a demonstration: behave in the exact opposite way that you want the child to.

Ever see a little brat on the bus while the mother just sits there on her phone? yeah that's what not disciplining a child does.

Not really. It's what bad parenting does, which may or may not have anything to do with the level of discipline the parent metes.

I'll have you know that I have yet to strike, yell at, or speak negatively towards my 6 year old, and amazingly enough, she has yet to do the same to me. Funny how that works out.

If a kid doesn't know that they are doing something wrong or bad they will keep on doing it.

How does punishment change that, exactly?

Either you tell the kid that he or she is doing something wrong and why, and then they know, or you don't, and then they don't know. Punishment won't suddenly change what they know or don't know. What punishment does is cow the child into doing what you want them to, and that's all. Don't try and pretend that punishment is anything more than threats and intimidation, because it isn't. What you can argue is that threats and intimidation are required to change the child's behavior for the better (which flies into the face of the science of the human brain, but whatever).

I agree that people need to explain to their kids what they are doing is wrong but I also believe in punishing the child as well. I feel that punishing children helps them understand that there are consequences to the choices they make. The parent should explain to their child why they are being punished instead of just punishing them. At least that way they know what they did was wrong and why they are getting punished for it.

 

[Lilani]

-snip-

I was spanked as a child when the situation called for it, and I remember it happening, and I am personally glad my parents did it. I shudder to think what I would have turned out to be had they not done it. So, you can imagine how I feel about it. Of course it is the "last resort" option, and never given lightly (I mean that figuratively, not literally).

 

[KatelinAlpaca]

I personally think spanking a child is a lazy last resort. If one is going to have a child, I would hope they would at least familiarize themselves with child psychology enough to know that you don't have to hit your kid in any way to manipulate them into good behavior.


edit: In reference to the video, I thought it was hilarious.