Is there a way to fall OUT of love?

[Judgement101]

Every time you see her. Imaging she's got like a seriously fucked up nose and when she's around, smell something pungent to associate her with putrid smells

Tried it and tried it. It's almost like my brain is hardwired to only love her and block all other thoughts.

Imagine she's a huge biggot and share nothing in common with you.

Huh, haven't tried those yet.

Like next time she's speaking to someone of a different ethnicity, imagine she's being extremely racist etc.

lol, ok works for me.

 

[Bruin]

How am I being dark an mysterious? I'll shed light on this then. I'm 16, average student, cynical, depressed (medically diagnosed, not self diagnosed), only social with my close friends, and tend to stay out of any unwanted happenings.

You're the same misanthropic, House-watching teenager that thinks mental disorders are cool to mock and mimic.

Any time a human being describes themselves as "cynical" it generally means they want you to believe they are. I don't believe you're cynical. I believe you want me to think you are. I think the same doctors that slap "ADD" labels on toddlers are the same ones slapping "depressed" labels on kids these days.

I didn't really know the definition of a cynic soooooo yeeaaahhhh...Actually I have the textbook definition of depression, not the "I'm sad all the time" depressed, the "I have zero motivation and find little to no joy in activies that normally cause joy" depressed.

Your ignorance of the word doesn't negate the fact that you tried to use it to describe yourself.

In other words: You're a teenager.

 

[Jaded Scribe]

Depression is hard. And since I was clinically depressed through high school as well, I know where you're coming from.

Try to find just ONE thing that you can throw yourself into. Something to eat up as much of your time as possible. Mine was working lighting for my school theatre.

You can also try writing, studying (for yourself, not school, though you should do that too. Try to find a topic you're interested in and throw yourself into it), reading, gaming, etc etc.

If you can find one thing to really focus on, she'll start to be pushed to the back of your mind, and she'll stay back there until you outgrow this crush.

 

[zehydra]

Assuming you're a guy, I think one of the best things to do, is to avoid seeing her at all, or even a picture of her, at least for a while. That's what I did... I think it worked, lol.

 

[Judgement101]

How am I being dark an mysterious? I'll shed light on this then. I'm 16, average student, cynical, depressed (medically diagnosed, not self diagnosed), only social with my close friends, and tend to stay out of any unwanted happenings.

You're the same misanthropic, House-watching teenager that thinks mental disorders are cool to mock and mimic.

Any time a human being describes themselves as "cynical" it generally means they want you to believe they are. I don't believe you're cynical. I believe you want me to think you are. I think the same doctors that slap "ADD" labels on toddlers are the same ones slapping "depressed" labels on kids these days.

I didn't really know the definition of a cynic soooooo yeeaaahhhh...Actually I have the textbook definition of depression, not the "I'm sad all the time" depressed, the "I have zero motivation and find little to no joy in activies that normally cause joy" depressed.

Your ignorance of the word doesn't negate the fact that you tried to use it to describe yourself.

In other words: You're a teenager.

And that makes me incapible of loving someone, thanks for the sterotypical views. Really, it helps a lot to know that people will yell at you for being a certian age.

 

[Judgement101]

How am I being dark an mysterious? I'll shed light on this then. I'm 16, average student, cynical, depressed (medically diagnosed, not self diagnosed), only social with my close friends, and tend to stay out of any unwanted happenings.

You're the same misanthropic, House-watching teenager that thinks mental disorders are cool to mock and mimic.

Any time a human being describes themselves as "cynical" it generally means they want you to believe they are. I don't believe you're cynical. I believe you want me to think you are. I think the same doctors that slap "ADD" labels on toddlers are the same ones slapping "depressed" labels on kids these days.

Hey, I resent that generalisation.

I watch house and would consider myself fairly cynical.

But I'm not like this guy..... XD

Dathwampeer you always know how to make me laugh.

 

[mad825]

We are "hard wired" to love, in a sense. Nature wants us to produce more babies with somebody that we find physically attractive--because they're probably genetically attractive as well.

But he could find that with any other girl he gets emotionally attached to. Compatibility things like having things in common go a long way to this as well, but still.

ermm....no thats not entirely correct, if this was the 1700s and you were a man named schopenhauer I would give you an A*x∞ but in "love" there are psychological aspects that should be taken into account as well which sadly schopenhauer didn't take into account.

 

[mercertheblack]

Wanna fall out of love? Get married.

Badabing, badaboom.

 

[Judgement101]

The thing is, she is the only thing making me less depressed. If it wasn't for her I would be emotionless and probably psycotic. I just want to not love her because I run every bad senario through my head constantly.

In that case, I suggest psychological help.
No, I'm not joking. Everything you've said so far indicates that there is something very wrong with you.
Go seek professional help.

Let me make it more clear what I mean: Imagine a ball of insanity and madness, thats basically me. Imagine a chain wrapped around it that keeps it from being released, thats basically her. Without the chain the ball would be able to freely act. In other word, I'm probably insane.

You need to drop these thoughts. Now.

When you imagine you and her in such a way, you're pretty much just justifying your actions/thoughts to yourself. I don't know your specific relationship with this girl, but if you think that way, then you and her will not have any chance. Obsessiveguys get absolutly nowhere.

If you want to keep her, or go out with her at all, you just need to be yourself. And don't tell me that your normal self is "insane" cause I'll have none of it.

I hope you do know that I'm borderline psycopathic right? I thought I made that common knowledge, I'm not kidding.

Even if you are, everything I said still stands. This girl may help you in alot of ways, but if you can see there's nothing between you, you need to let it go. Trust me I know how hard that can be..

Maybe you need to elaborate a little more on your standing with her so I know what I'm commenting on?

I'll just let it go. If she causes this much of an issue for me she really isn't worth it.

That's the way to think =] . Although its probably easier said than done. If a girl causes you nothing but grief, no matter how much you like her, you need to stop feeling for her(as fucked as that sounds).

A good saying for this situation is "Passion rules Reason."

It'll probably be a while until I can forget her but until then, I'll drop all contact with her.

 

[WirlWind]

I remember reading into something about the human brain releasing chemicals for the first year of a relationship (IE, the butterflies in your stomach/really feeling smitten etc) that basically turns you into a drooling f'tard. Then after a year, the body stops doing this.

This is why most people "Fall out of love" after about a year or so, though some people it can take longer or shorter times. Classic example is my first g/f, together for a year and spending every waking second together, then suddenly she "stopped loving" me.

I was like "WTF" at first, but then I did the research and figured it all out. That's why you hear of so many marriages falling apart in the first few years. That good feeling wears off, then you're stuck with having to actually work at the relationship

As for immediate ways of "patching" that problem, I'd suggest Sacred 2 Bury yourself deep in something and try to avoid her, otherwise you may end up taking a very large knife to her chest.

 

[Mimssy]

Copious amounts of ice cream, cookie dough, and bitterness.

 

[Judgement101]

How am I being dark an mysterious? I'll shed light on this then. I'm 16, average student, cynical, depressed (medically diagnosed, not self diagnosed), only social with my close friends, and tend to stay out of any unwanted happenings.

You're the same misanthropic, House-watching teenager that thinks mental disorders are cool to mock and mimic.

Any time a human being describes themselves as "cynical" it generally means they want you to believe they are. I don't believe you're cynical. I believe you want me to think you are. I think the same doctors that slap "ADD" labels on toddlers are the same ones slapping "depressed" labels on kids these days.

Hey, I resent that generalisation.

I watch house and would consider myself fairly cynical.

But I'm not like this guy..... XD

Dathwampeer you always know how to make me laugh.

I'd take a bow if it wasn't the internet

You win this

Spoiler: Mario Cookie

 

[Bruin]

And that makes me incapible of loving someone, thanks for the sterotypical views. Really, it helps a lot to know that people will yell at you for being a certian age.

How am I being dark an mysterious? I'll shed light on this then. I'm 16, average student, cynical, depressed (medically diagnosed, not self diagnosed), only social with my close friends, and tend to stay out of any unwanted happenings.

You're the same misanthropic, House-watching teenager that thinks mental disorders are cool to mock and mimic.

Any time a human being describes themselves as "cynical" it generally means they want you to believe they are. I don't believe you're cynical. I believe you want me to think you are. I think the same doctors that slap "ADD" labels on toddlers are the same ones slapping "depressed" labels on kids these days.

Hey, I resent that generalisation.

I watch house and would consider myself fairly cynical.

But I'm not like this guy..... XD

One of the reasons I don't watch House is because everybody seems to think Dr. House would be a cool person in real life.

Honestly I would hate him. I'm sure he would hate me as well. Unprofessional, irrational and unreasonable doctor who sucks up the payroll because people call him a genius.

And that makes me incapible of loving someone, thanks for the sterotypical views. Really, it helps a lot to know that people will yell at you for being a certian age.

Only, everything you've described isn't love, it's infatuation. It's nature's way of getting you laid.

And during puberty you're essentially in a constant state of mental and hormonal instability. What you think one moment could change entirely moments later. It's one of the reasons why we don't consider 16 year olds adults like we did way back when.

You're trying to make me believe that A: What you're experiencing is actual love. B: You're insane. C: She is the only way you can reach mental stability.

All under the blanket of you being 16 years old.

Having been 16, it's not as if I don't know how much conviction and attachment you can feel for somebody at that age.

But looking back on it now, it was all just lust I didn't know what to do with. Not the superficial "I just want sex" type, but the yearning for the same feelings I felt for whoever that person was. I know of the mood swings, experienced them and hated them. The feelings that you're depressed and nothing really gets you truly happy anymore.

But again, looking back on it, the only thing that caused all of that was my age.

 

[Aureli]

Find something they do that annoys you and focus on that. Eventually it will bother you to the point that you say "Fuck this, I'm done." and all those feelings vanish almost instantly.

 

[Bruin]

We are "hard wired" to love, in a sense. Nature wants us to produce more babies with somebody that we find physically attractive--because they're probably genetically attractive as well.

But he could find that with any other girl he gets emotionally attached to. Compatibility things like having things in common go a long way to this as well, but still.

ermm....no thats not entirely correct, if this was the 1700s and you were a man named schopenhauer I would give you an A*x∞ but in "love" there are psychological aspects that should be taken into account as well which sadly schopenhauer didn't take into account.

"Compatibility things like having things in common go a long way to this as well,".

 

[Judgement101]

And that makes me incapible of loving someone, thanks for the sterotypical views. Really, it helps a lot to know that people will yell at you for being a certian age.

How am I being dark an mysterious? I'll shed light on this then. I'm 16, average student, cynical, depressed (medically diagnosed, not self diagnosed), only social with my close friends, and tend to stay out of any unwanted happenings.

You're the same misanthropic, House-watching teenager that thinks mental disorders are cool to mock and mimic.

Any time a human being describes themselves as "cynical" it generally means they want you to believe they are. I don't believe you're cynical. I believe you want me to think you are. I think the same doctors that slap "ADD" labels on toddlers are the same ones slapping "depressed" labels on kids these days.

Hey, I resent that generalisation.

I watch house and would consider myself fairly cynical.

But I'm not like this guy..... XD

One of the reasons I don't watch House is because everybody seems to think Dr. House would be a cool person in real life.

Honestly I would hate him. I'm sure he would hate me as well. Unprofessional, irrational and unreasonable doctor who sucks up the payroll because people call him a genius.

And that makes me incapible of loving someone, thanks for the sterotypical views. Really, it helps a lot to know that people will yell at you for being a certian age.

Only, everything you've described isn't love, it's infatuation. It's nature's way of getting you laid.

And during puberty you're essentially in a constant state of mental and hormonal instability. What you think one moment could change entirely moments later. It's one of the reasons why we don't consider 16 year olds adults like we did way back when.

You're trying to make me believe that A: What you're experiencing is actual love. B: You're insane. C: She is the only way you can reach mental stability.

All under the blanket of you being 16 years old.

Having been 16, it's not as if I don't know how much conviction and attachment you can feel for somebody at that age.

But looking back on it now, it was all just lust I didn't know what to do with. Not the superficial "I just want sex" type, but the yearning for the same feelings I felt for whoever that person was. I know of the mood swings, experienced them and hated them. The feelings that you're depressed and nothing really gets you truly happy anymore.

But again, looking back on it, the only thing that caused all of that was my age.

I hope you realise nothing you say now will possibly help me. You basically verbally attacked me making me not want to take any of your advice.

 

[SovietSecrets]

Is it really that bad that you just cant ask her out? I mean if she says no, doesn't that help you out a bit?

 

[Judgement101]

Is it really that bad that you just cant ask her out? I mean if she says no, doesn't that help you out a bit?

There is a really long story that I didn't have time to tell.