Is there any reason to get married nowadays?

[M K Ultra]

Narriage being an expression of a loving relationship first and foremost is a relatively new phenomenon.

I blame Hallmark.

ON Topic: Tax purposes is the only reason to get married.

 

[Kargathia]

I love mashed potatoes,..... I hope my sister made some for Christmas dinner.....wait....what was I talking about?

Mashed potatoes. Undeniably and unfathomably more important than whatever else was going on in here =)

I had my Wisdom teeth out about a week and a half ago. My diet has been 75% Mashed Potatoes since then, it feels like. While it was glorious at first, I'm beginning to think if I never seen another Mashed Potato in my life it'll be too soon.

Yea, I know that feeling. Had mine out a few months back, and had to retrieve half my meal from the resulting hole for weeks afterwards.

 

[blackrave]

Nope, it isn't worth it.
It is better to sign contracts for specific things (children, shearing living space and finances, etc.)

And that, my friends, is why men on the internet have such trouble with women. All the charisma and class of a blunt mallet.

Really? That is your argument for defending marriage? Shaming tactics? REALLY?

Ok, let's be rational for a moment here.
Terms of marriage are mostly being dictated by a government, that is someone else than people involved in marriage.
And if one nice day finger they usually stick up in their ass smells more strangely than usual, they will change these terms.
While terms of contract are being agreed upon by both sides and after signed, those might be as good as written in stone (with exceptions of course)
And while you can treat your partner better than decided in contract (and you most probably will, if your partner is great person), you are not obliged to exceed the minimum of contract terms.
So that's why contracts are better (if done carefully and fair)

 

[SecondPrize]

It honestly doesn't seem to matter to you in Alberta, as you get many of the rights of marriage, alongside the obligations that lead to those horror stories you mention after living together for three years, due to the adult interdependent relationship laws there. That shit appears to be all-the-way crazy, as it can apply to same sex couples as well as non-conjugal relationships.

 

[Smallells]

What? Why? I don't.....AHA!

I got married because I love my wife and because we wanted to.

Problem?

Edit. I'll elaborate.

I see it a lot on this forum .... Quite a lot of people are clueless in a relationship or just can't, won't or don't want to be in one.

That's fine.

Some of us actually have a healthy relationship and quite like it. So we get married if we want to.


The real question is, what the fuck has it got to do with anyone else why some people want to get married?

Thank god. I thought the escapist was populated by robots for a moment there. Tax breaks? Religious reasons?!
How about honest to goodness love? People marry to show their commitment to their other half. If you love someone, you'll usually want to marry them and not even realise how or when it happened. Or why.
Anyway, yes, love. Love is the answer to this question.

I don't think that's what the OP is talking about. It's entirely possible to love someone as you would a spouse (and them love you back) and not be married to them. One of my friend's parents is in a similar situation. The reasons for putting the stamp of marriage on it is what the OP is asking

Yes, but that IS my point. Sure, for some people, expressions of love don't require marriage. However, for others, the ultimate show of love is marriage to that person! So love still counts as my answer - marriage isn't ALWAYS the answer, sure, but doesn't make it any less so.

 

[Phasmal]

As I said before, I understand why people love each other and I understand why they have marriage-like relationships with together. My question is why the status of being married is necassary if you're already that committed to each other in the first place.

I feel I can answer this one for you.
Hang on to your hat, though.
Because they want to.
Marrying is only `necessary` if it is a personal deal breaker for someone.
I would like to get married, however, I know people in committed relationships who probably wont get married.
It's personal choice, and yeah there is a fair bit of societal pressures and expectation involved what with weddings being romanticized so much.
A lot of people I know have a `Why not?` approach to marriage.
They think, if you already act married you might as well have a wedding. Good excuse for a party.
If you plan with staying with someone forever, why the fuck not.
As earlier stated it's a personal choice and if you don't understand it that is just fine.

 

[Wolfhowl the shadow lurker]

I asked someone i knew, who was marryed and did not belive in god in any way and he turned to me, smiled and said in a strong growl to me

"tax breaks"

He then went back to baking!

What were we talking about again?

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

It's quite sad really, I always see threads like these with people trying to convince themselves that diamond rings, marriage and having relationships are all stupid and materialistic... I don't see what's so hard about loving another person for you people...

I think those things and still love another person very much - minus the relationship bit of course, relationships arent stupid, and thats the one part of your list that DOES make what your saying true. Im not even against marriage. Just dont pretend that not having one prevents me from loving another person. The only reason to get one is because you wanna have a party to celebrate your love, which has now independently reached a point where you think it will last until you die. Thats cool. I probably wanna do that. I really like the idea of a nice wedding. But it is stupid and materialistic. Im allowed to enjoy stupid and materialistic things dammit! Parties are stupid but fuck me its one hell of a time. And why not celebrate a relationship the same way. Its a nice reason to be merry and do a romantic thing for one another. Thats good enough for me. Doesnt need to "Prove" my love or "Make my relationship BETTERER" or anything like that. I just enjoy a party, enjoy a show and dance and enjoy a good excuse to be romantic.

Young people apparently don't believe in love anymore. I think its because their either bitter, lonely, or stupid.

Thats just unnecessarily rude and obviously a false equivalence. Not wanting to get married != Incapable of love. Thats kinda sick to assume that... and thats from someone who WANTS to get married.

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

Because two people love each other, want to commit to each other for life and want to share publically that love and commitment with those closest to them. If you only reason for marriage is a bloody tax break then I say that marriage likely not worth the paper its written on. Or maybe I'm just a softy.

 

[2xDouble]

Young people apparently don't believe in love anymore. I think its because their either bitter, lonely, or stupid.

Thats just unnecessarily rude and obviously a false equivalence. Not wanting to get married != Incapable of love. Thats kinda sick to assume that... and thats from someone who WANTS to get married.

Love is, by definition, a reason to get married; a primary reason, in this case, in the consideration of marriage. The inability to accept that fits the three disorders I mentioned. Love need not be the only reason, nor is marriage a necessary result of love.

However, marriage without love is indeed rather sick.

 

[Daniel Ferguson]

The tradition and the symbolic commitment of said tradition. You say to the world "I love this person enough to be legally bound to them for the rest of my life" - at least that's what you're supposed to be saying. It doesn't always work out that way, of course. It's a pledge. Sort of like the Pledge of Allegiance, even. Except to your spouse, not the country you're living in.

Marriage aside, it's good for all children to have both male and female influences in their development stages. As long as the influence is positive, anyway. My father doesn't really have any influence on my life, he's just a machine who goes to work, hates it, comes home and watches the motor sport and tells us about how shit his job is. I can't recall him doing much more than that with his life. He's a boss, not a father. I turn to The Art Of Manliness and male friends that I've made only in the last 3 years, for actual examples of man stuff. It didn't exist for me before that, because my dad isn't a father. How does marriage fit into that? Well, I guess if you commit to another human being, you commit to having children (if possible; note that children aren't always part of the plan, or wanted). I don't think marriage explicitly states that you'll commit to the children of the married couple, however. But it is implied, at least where "nuclear families" are concerned.

Of course, we live in a 'new world' where it's not expected, and those who reach their thirties without marrying aren't considered "spinsters" or "losers" or whatever.

Whether you're a "loser" for not finding anyone full stop by a certain age, is another matter.

 

[BleedingPride]

It's more of a symbolic ceremony of the commitment two people have made to each other than a necessity anymore. Some couples don't need to do it, but most that are ready to spend their lives with each other want to do it. There are benefits, sure, and there are downsides, as was stated. But really the whole thing is symbolic, not only to each other, but to others as well. At least in my opinion.

 

[Patathatapon]

The only thing I don't get about marriage is why people spend 500,000 dollars for ONE day to be exciting and wonderful. Even the 10,000 dollar ones are pretty high. Give me 10,000 and I'd rather spend it on the woman (unless I decide i'm homosexual after this post for some reason) I love by getting her a REALLY fancy dinner, and maybe going to a hotel afterwards. Or in my specific case, give me 10,000 and I'll more likely save it in the bank to buy an upgrade for my CPU every 3 years. I'd be satisfied for over 25 years rather than a single day.

Then again, I'm very cynical and jaded, and I don't believe in Christmas spirit, so maybe it's just because I'm a Scrooge McGrinch.

Note: I understand the whole "Happiness" thing, and I'm not opposed to it, I just don't see the point in spending money on a single day that could have just been easily done as signing a paper.

 

[Daniel Ferguson]

The only thing I don't get about marriage is why people spend 500,000 dollars for ONE day to be exciting and wonderful. Even the 10,000 dollar ones are pretty high. Give me 10,000 and I'd rather spend it on the woman (unless I decide i'm homosexual after this post for some reason) I love by getting her a REALLY fancy dinner, and maybe going to a hotel afterwards. Or in my specific case, give me 10,000 and I'll more likely save it in the bank to buy an upgrade for my CPU every 3 years. I'd be satisfied for over 25 years rather than a single day.

Then again, I'm very cynical and jaded, and I don't believe in Christmas spirit, so maybe it's just because I'm a Scrooge McGrinch.

Note: I understand the whole "Happiness" thing, and I'm not opposed to it, I just don't see the point in spending money on a single day that could have just been easily done as signing a paper.

I think I'll be putting spending limits on my own wedding. 50,000 sounds like my upper limit. 25,000 is more practical. Unless I marry a super model. Heh. If she makes millions, she can spend millions if she wants to. She'd have my permission to go nuts.

Of course I have to find a woman, first. *forever_alone.jpg*

 

[Strazdas]

Two people love eachother and wish to celebrate that with their friends and family.

Marriage is designed as the celebration of love. Do people use it for more shady reasons? Yes, but that's hardly an issue. That's it. It's only a celebration of two people who love eachother with those close to them. That's all it was ever supposed to be.

It's an entirely symbolic point. Some people don'y buy into it, but to imply that it's symbolic reason means nothing and to look at it from a completely utilitarian point of view is beyond cold.

A marriage (and by extension a wedding) serves as much use as a birthday party or a christmas tree. But it means a lot to the people who want to have them.

They can celebrate them without having to turn married. marriage is not a birthday party, you dont sign legal documents claiming that "you just aged 1 year now and forever" in birthday parties. for some people marriadge symbolism means nothing. just because you would like to celebrate it this way does not mean there are no other (better) ways

Motive is everything. People get married as a way of celebrating love.

What you are doing is disregarding that and looking at an entirely utilitarian manner of it. By the way, it's not a "ritual", it's a party. It's also not a cultural thing either. It's done all over the world for a multitude of different reasons.

1. context is everything.
2. you just lost all credibility with thinking that marriage is not a ritual.

People don't get married for any kind of gain or whatnot. They do it because a legal contract stating they are husband and wife (or wife and wife/husband and husband if you're in Canada and France) carries a certain legitimacy for them. Both you and OP on the other hand are viewing it entirely in "What does this do for me in a useful sense?" as if marriage is just another quest in your fantasy RPG.

every person in the world all the time think about usefulness. its just that usefulness is different for different people. everyone do EVERYTHING for gain.

The question is "Is there any reason to get married nowadays?"

Yes, if you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them. That's the reason to do it. That's always been the reason to do it, and it's been the only reason since it's conception. If you don't share the same opinion, fine. But don't pretend that I'm pulling some kind of mass cultural discrimination when I point out the very reason people do it.

so your saying that the only way to love and spend rest of my life with someone is to get married? how crazy are you?

Because the emotions people who get married are having are the VERY REASON they decided to have a wedding in the first place. Of course they are associated. It's pagentry. It's showing off. It's materialistic showboating of a relationship.

This is not a bad thing, nor is it inherently a good thing. But to sit there and claim that the way in which it's celebrated carries only cultural arrogance is the same kind of crap you hear from the crybabies who throw a fit when a Chrismas tree is put up in a public place.

yes, people get good emotional gain from marriage ritual as well as feeling of social acceptance due to marriage pressure in current society. this is not a bad thing, but not a necessary thing for happyness or love. you make it out to be and this is where you are wrong.

Taxes, better family unit, healthier life style, you know the works, oh and better pay/ life style.

do explain how marriadge makes my lifestyle healthier....

You know, when two people love each other, it solidifies their relationship.

It's quite sad really, I always see threads like these with people trying to convince themselves that diamond rings, marriage and having relationships are all stupid and materialistic... I don't see what's so hard about loving another person for you people...

oh look anotherp erson confusing marriage with love.

Because two people love each other, want to commit to each other for life and want to share publically that love and commitment with those closest to them. If you only reason for marriage is a bloody tax break then I say that marriage likely not worth the paper its written on. Or maybe I'm just a softy.

neither of the things you mentioned requires marriage.

 

[Korolev]

The psychological reasons are important. Marriage is a Ceremony - it's a declaration of commitment. Or at least its supposed to be.

I have nothing against those who do not wish to get married. But I am dead set on monogamy, and I would like my future wife and I to have such a ceremony. Yes, it's just a ceremony. But most acts of love are. It's how we try to get our feelings across to one another. For the right people, a marriage ceremony might be the most powerful emotional experience in their lives. I hope my marriage day will be, when I have one.

 

[slypizza]

Personally, I see no reason why and quite a lot of reasons why not.

To be fair, the horror stories of guys getting thrown out of their houses and made to pay support to boot are probably in the minority, but it does happen, and often enough to make it a concern.

Further, there isn't much advantage to it even if everything works out. There are a few tax benefits, sometimes, but live together for any significant amount of time and you'll be considered common-law for those purposes anyway (Well, here in Alberta anyway, I'm not actually sure about other places come to think of it).

So why get married? I suppose there can be religious reasons for some people, but are there any others?

Edit: I should clarify that I'm talking about being officially married, specifically, not just being in a loving relationship.

at this point no marriage has become superficial people only on the benefits of it not that fact they want to be with someone it should be taken away at this point and replaced with.... "beneficiary commitment" so a guy and girl get together they get alot of governmental and job benefits having a kid falls under that category as well though most never want the kid, but since the government helps alot single mothers with kids they'll just get someone have the kid kick the man out and live off the welfare for another good 20 years love is a thing of the past people your better off loving your japanese dating sims then any real person by this point that says a damn lot doesn't it...

 

[blazearmoru]

People here get married to avoid paying (some)taxes or to fulfill some childhood romantic dream, the opposite of being a power ranger.

 

[NearLifeExperience]

Not in my opinion, no. I understand that there are some advantages to it, like taxes and having a backup when things don't go as smoothly financially, but I feel like the bad outweighs the good. I really prefer having a sex life and being able to do as I please. I'd say marriage is nothing but a business proposal, an insurance policy. I'm the kind of person that lives in the moment, with no regard for what the future might bring, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

 

[Hosker]

Most people do it because it's social norm. It mostly seems arbitrary to me.