*sighs*
I don't know where to begin...
I don't usually comment on these sort of thing, but you've asked, so here goes:
First off, unless you are creating conceptual art where time is a significant factor in your meaning, the time something took to make means nothing. I know including how long something took can make you feel better, but its just overcompensation. If you go around viewing art as some kind of competition, you're going to have your ass handed to you always and forever. And that makes art less enjoyable.
Second, it really troubles me to see how many burgeoning artists insist on copying other peoples' styles instead of finding their own. And don't take my word for it- CR from TGWTG says that mimicking others without finding his own style is one of his biggest regrets.
If you want to draw ponies, go ahead. But draw them in your own way.
Third: get good art supplies. Get a set of pencils of at least five hardnesses between H and 9B, and a few good drawing pens. Professional markers are also an option if you like graphic art. Using bad paper and pencils now will make future you kick yourself retroactively.
Why are you coming onto a forum asking for peoples' opinions on a single drawing? No, not even their opinion. Just a yes or no about whether something is good or not. This is just screaming for the approval of others.
Ask yourself why you feel the need to do this. And then use this understanding to figure out how to stop feeling this need, because relying on others to tell you if your efforts are worthwhile is a perversion of the valuable act of learning from others. Other people should be a resource to you in art, not the ones to decide how you feel about something.
Also, go look up the Fuck Yeah Art Newbie Owl. Read them all, and if you're doing anything he does, chances are it would be a good idea to stop.