It's impossible to be sexy when...

[Malty Milk Whistle]

Super Sexy Snip

We all know they don't stay off the floor for very long.

You love it!

From those supr sxy Kill La Kill gifs, I'm assuming you love it too daystar?

And it's impossible to be sexy when you're in a room with me. It'll leak outa you and flow into my golden allure.

riteguiz?

 

[A BigCup of Tea]

It's impossible to look good whilst eating Tacos.
They break and make a mess of things, or they drip sauce down over your hands or something else that is equally unappetizing. If you're enjoying a taco, the only thing that actually looks appetizing is the taco itself.

tip for eating tacos, place an empty one underneath the one you're eating so after you've finished it BAM! instant taco!

i don't look good when playing xbox......or ever really as i have really bad posture haha

 

[The White Hunter]

I have really shit posture sometimes, and when I play video games on my pc or am just reading a book anywhere that involves sitting, rather than laying, then I'm basically hunched over like a troll.

To be fair in those situations who cares if you look sexy, I mean you're busy doing other things!

OT: It's impossible to be sexy when you do anything the way @T0ad 0f Truth does it

It's impossible to be sexy when you have a mild chest infection and a runny nose as I have at the moment

 

[Guffe]

When brushing my teeth.
No one can be sexy when they brush their teeth.
It's just impossible!

Definitely.

I'm a really messy tooth-brusher too.
I don't know how I manage it!

And if you try, even for a second...
...you'll look like a retarded llama

 

[chiggerwood]

It's impossible to be sexy when you have the kind of diarrhea that has you writing out your last will and testament on toilet paper.

 

[Olas]

It's impossible to be sexy when you've been atomically annihilated.

 

[Hagi]

It's impossible to be sexy whilst picking your nose or scratching your ass.

And no, especially finely shaped asses are no exception! IT CAN NOT BE DONE!

 

[Rip Van Rabbit]

When brushing my teeth.
No one can be sexy when they brush their teeth.

It's just impossible!

GOOD DAY, SIR!

Allow me to show you documented (totes legit) real life footage of sexy teeth-brushing!

Huzzah!


[hr]

You know, it's a curse to be this sexy really.

However, I will say that (slipping in and out of) tight clothing always presents an array of strange facial expressions, hopping and even body wiggles you never knew you were capable of!

Though don't listen to me, allow someone else to demonstrate the correct way to get dressed:

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

I also tend to make a stupid face whenever I'm putting on mascara. My eyes are normally open really wide and my mouth hangs open a bit, it's not a good look.

As a male who wears contact lenses I feel like I'm qualified to comment on this face because im almost certain its the exact same freaking face. Its dire. The worst part is before any potential sexiness(which we are assuming is followed by sleepy times) you literally HAVE to remove them in front of the person youre sleeping with because sleeping with them in is hella bad. Mouth WIDE open eyes peeled back? Extremely unnattractive. Instant mood killer. Also touching your eyes is extremely unsexy. Like thats a niche I have ever even seen on the internet. Please dont correct me.

 

[Caiphus]

I currently wear a retainer, which I have to remove every time I go to eat. I think it is actually impossible to look attractive while fishing around in your own mouth, unhooking stuff, making sucking noises and whatnot.

Ah well.

Edit:

Also touching your eyes is extremely unsexy. Like thats a niche I have ever even seen on the internet. Please dont correct me.

I am led to believe that there is a craze sweeping Japan at the moment, where amorous teenagers are licking each others' eyeballs.
So there's a place for you. Don't you worry.

 

[Thyunda]

Its impossible to appear to be the sexy sex God that you are when you are walking sexily down the street and catch your foot on a slightly raised paving slab, trip and stumble.

Unless you stop, drop and pose.

 

[stormeris]

Its impossible to appear to be the sexy sex God that you are when you are walking sexily down the street and catch your foot on a slightly raised paving slab, trip and stumble.

Unless you stop, drop and pose.

Or better yet!
FALL FLAT ON YOUR FACE

And don't get up.
Seriously don't, people might think your planking or something.

 

[Teoes]

It is probably impossible to look sexy whilst blowing your nose.

It is definitely impossible to look sexy whilst attempting to lick your own elbow.

Anything in particular prompt this thread? Did you catch yourself simultaneously applying mascara and removing skinny jeans and think "Damn, not doing this again."?

 

[Lovisa]

When brushing my teeth.
No one can be sexy when they brush their teeth.
It's just impossible!

Definitely.

I'm a really messy tooth-brusher too.
I don't know how I manage it!

Oh you can sex it up if you really want, trust me ;D But not in the cheap, cheesy or sexually depraved way that the japanese do it (will anime EVER appeal to me? Nope.)

I do however see it impossible to be sexy when picking up a big nasty dog shit on an open street. That just doesn't work. At all. Not even with a sexy bend over or a smile. Nuh uh. No way.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Anything in particular prompt this thread? Did you catch yourself simultaneously applying mascara and removing skinny jeans and think "Damn, not doing this again."?

They asked something similar on the radio about a week ago and I then I couldn't help but think, 'yep, this is one of those things.'

 

[Fasckira]

Any kind of eating as far as I'm concerned. I can be playing the role of the finest of gentlemen, but as soon as I engage my mouth in the task of eating I put Kirby to shame.

 

[Simple Bluff]

Ever tried a nerdy pick up line?

"Hey babe, I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves"

... yeah, being nerdy just doesn't work. Ever.

 

[MetalMagpie]

Sex with your socks on isn't sexy, but taking your socks off before sex is even less sexy.

I love girls with socks on during sex. It also depends on the kind of socks. Hell i go out of my way to tell my girlfriend to keep her socks on.

I feel distinctly unsexy with my socks on. Then again maybe it's just a male thing.

Yeah, I think girls can pull off the socks-still-on look providing the socks are nice. Tight, over-the-knee socks can look sexy in a playful way, especially if they're either brightly-coloured or have frills around the top.

Men's socks just aren't very attractive. Also, having socks still on draws attention to the legs, which aren't usually the most attractive part of a guy. (Apologies to all the men out there with mind-blowingly sexy legs. I'm sorry not to have met you.)

 

[Easton Dark]

Any kind of eating as far as I'm concerned. I can be playing the role of the finest of gentlemen, but as soon as I engage my mouth in the task of eating I put Kirby to shame.

Nah nah nah, the ladies love it when you say you eat a lot.

As for my contribution, I inevitably slump in my chair when playing or watching something, and slumped half-way in a chair is really unflattering.

(Apologies to all the men out there with mind-blowingly sexy legs. I'm sorry not to have met you.)

Guys who play or played soccer can be counted on to have nicely toned legs for a long time. Years later, mine still have that muscle, it's super rad to not have atrophied or meat-sack legs. I assume it goes for other sports with a lot of kicking as well.

 

[Scolar Visari]

Sitting in the back of a work truck, listening to our radio and eating an Uncrustables sandwich somebody gave me.

Woman waves to get my attention and tries to converse with me. Suprised and confused, I hurriedly stuff the entire sandwich in my mouth, fumble to get the window slightly open and try to yell back at her with a mouth full of PBJ. Can't hear her over the engine and radio. Eventually she gives up and walks away.

I don't have a better example, sorry. I don't really do anything that could be considered sexy. At least un-ironically that is.