It's impossible to be sexy when...

[WaysideMaze]

I remember back in August I was at a festival, and I saw this girl I knew heading my way in the distance, and at the time I was kind of into her. Unfortunately at the time I was in the middle of eating a messy calzone, and had pizza dripping all down my face. I had to duck and run and hope she didn't notice me.

Not like it mattered, later in the night I saw her again, except this time I was drunk and high and was explaining how this dude I'd just met was 'like, my brother... you know? He's like my fucking brother! I love this guy! I fucking love this guy!'

Sexy as fuck.

 

[Dirge Eterna]

Sex with your socks on isn't sexy, but taking your socks off before sex is even less sexy.

I love girls with socks on during sex. It also depends on the kind of socks. Hell i go out of my way to tell my girlfriend to keep her socks on.

OT: it's impossible to be sexy when you have a runny nose.

Socks? Nope! Stockings especially with a garter belt, YES!!!!!

Edit: ok knee high socks on a girl I will give you but just plain ones meh.

 

[Thyunda]

Its impossible to appear to be the sexy sex God that you are when you are walking sexily down the street and catch your foot on a slightly raised paving slab, trip and stumble.

Unless you stop, drop and pose.

Or better yet!
FALL FLAT ON YOUR FACE

And don't get up.
Seriously don't, people might think your planking or something.

Is planking a sex thing where you come from...?

 

[Astoria]

Probably when I'm brushing my teeth. I don't know what I do differently to everyone else but it's always...messy (not like that!).

 

[Euryalus]

-Snip-

The sexy eroticism of the flailing then?

That's what you meant right?

All the girls in the club were Laughing at in awe of my Drunken Antics adorable voice, awesome dance skills, and rustic charm!

 

[The White Hunter]

I have really shit posture sometimes, and when I play video games on my pc or am just reading a book anywhere that involves sitting, rather than laying, then I'm basically hunched over like a troll.

To be fair in those situations who cares if you look sexy, I mean you're busy doing other things!

OT: It's impossible to be sexy when you do anything the way @T0ad 0f Truth does it

It's impossible to be sexy when you have a mild chest infection and a runny nose as I have at the moment

Oi! I'm plenty sexy! Have you seen me dance?

It literally blinds people its so beautiful!

...It's the beauty... Just trust me...

I sent a minion to watch you dance and his lungs ruptured from laughing.

Poor minion B, he never stood a chance.

 

[stormeris]

Its impossible to appear to be the sexy sex God that you are when you are walking sexily down the street and catch your foot on a slightly raised paving slab, trip and stumble.

Unless you stop, drop and pose.

Or better yet!
FALL FLAT ON YOUR FACE

And don't get up.
Seriously don't, people might think your planking or something.

Is planking a sex thing where you come from...?

How the fuck should i know?
It's probably like dropping the soap in prison xD

 

[sageoftruth]

It's impossible to be sexy while smiling, right after finishing a box of Oreos.

 

[Evil Smurf]

It's impossible to be sexy when you are smoking, cancer is not attractive ladies!

tho

It's impossible to be sexy, when you think "tho" is a word and forget "although" as a piece of everyday vernacular, to be worth using.

 

[Someone Depressing]

You speak like me. You talk like me. You socialise like me. You have the body language of a sickly, young chimp with a bone deficiency.

I'm an ugly little videogame child. I cover the mirrors. Paint the windows. I unscrew all of the lightbulbs. I wear a doctor's mask. People ask me, "are you sick?" and I just say, "no". It's for their convencience. I never leave my room. I never get any letters from my family.

I'll never be loved. Because I'm so ugly.

 

['Record Stops.']

I believe it is impossible to look attractive or sexy, when you're reading a really good book and zoning out everything around you to the point where your sentences are gruff, one word, or simply grunts. You look like a NERD.

 

[Nosirrah]

Never, when I'm around trousers fly off with enough force to decapitate anyone near by.
This creates...awkward moments.

 

[grey_space]

Sex with your socks on isn't sexy, but taking your socks off before sex is even less sexy.

Very much so. Absolutely impossible to do anything with socks that is sexy.

And I hate skinny jeans on a girl. All I can think of is how hard it'd be to take the damn thing off. I always feel really self-conscious, exposed and uncomfortable in them. Very much the opposite of sexy.

 

[shootthebandit]

You speak like me. You talk like me. You socialise like me. You have the body language of a sickly, young chimp with a bone deficiency.

I'm an ugly little videogame child. I cover the mirrors. Paint the windows. I unscrew all of the lightbulbs. I wear a doctor's mask. People ask me, "are you sick?" and I just say, "no". It's for their convencience. I never leave my room. I never get any letters from my family.

I'll never be loved. Because I'm so ugly.

Dont be such a negative nelly. Theres no such thing as ugly just an aquired taste

 

[Muspelheim]

It is utterly impossible to be sexy while aboard a bus. It's public transport without any trace of decency, where you are expected to fold up like a deck chair and sit completely still for six hours. It is very difficult to be sexy once you crawl out of the horrid thing, reacquaint yourself with your bones and stagger back home.

Sex with your socks on isn't sexy, but taking your socks off before sex is even less sexy.

Agreed. The best way to limit the effect is getting the damned things off and out of the way first. It is the only way...

 

[bigwon]

when your caught staring at her tits and then tilt your head to stare into the great distance with contempt for your trivial life..... While your working at fast food.



make the ladies dry up it does.

 

[Fappy]

Theme song to this whole thread (and by extension Fappy/Daystar time):

OT: I feel its impossible to be sexy when you're reeeeally into the movie on television, I mean you can put forth the effort, but you look like a distracted circus seal.

I don't know. Usually when Daystar and I are in the same room this song starts playing:


If you were wondering, yes, we only ever have PG-13 sex. Daystar's a prude.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Daystar's a prude.

That makes sense.
I had a feeling that it was all an act.

 

[Diddy_Mao]

As much as I hate to admit it. Back when I used to date I always took the girl out to sat at an Italian restaurant on our first date.

2 reasons.
1. Pasta is fucking delicious and I can't date a lass who feels otherwise.

2. If we can wach eachother eat pasta, quite possibly the unsexiest food to consume, and still be attracted to eachother then we're off to a good start.

 

[mitchell271]

It's impossible to be sexy while playing guitar for me. I play death metal and do vocals so unless you're into a 19 yo. guy growling into a mic while playing atonal music, I'm out of luck.
The worst part is that all the alt or short artsy girls in my town are all taken too!

Or when I come out of the shower. When I dry my hair (it's long for a guy), I get some crazy mad scientist stuff going. It sticks out on the sides, it's poking up, some of it's tangled, etc. Just about everything that can go wrong with hair goes wrong with mine every morning.