I've lost the will to live

[WhyWasThat]

Is it because I recently gave up smoking? Lack of social interaction? Because my video games were taken away from me the other day? Because without video games my life is almost empty? Because I have no interest in my college course and my parents are breaking their backs funding it for me? Because I dislike my part-time job? Because I'm still a virgin? Because I envy my sister who has a job and a boyfriend and is always doing things and seems happy with life while I sit perpetually in the house feeling bored and miserable?

Or is it all of the above?

I don't even care anymore. I really don't. Life's a mystery. To live a good life is so simple, and yet so difficult.

 

[Able Seacat]

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. But you can be surprised by how much can change with time. Hang in there.

 

[WhyWasThat]

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. But you can be surprised by how much can change with time. Hang in there.

Hang in there? Story of my life. It feels like I've been 'hanging in there' for years, waiting for things to improve. Or simply change, I'd settle for change.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

I think you should take one thing at a time, and I know this is gonna sound stupid and cliche, but don't compare yourself to others. It's only gonna make yourself worse, and trust me, I've been there.

See how you feel after you stop having cravings for a smoke because having that kind of withdraw will affect your mood. So, just focus on kicking the habit for now and see if you still feel that way. Then when you can manage it with classes, go find a school club that might be of interest of you, or talk to some people in your classes to form a study group. You'd be surprised by how friendships start because of that.

If college isn't working out for you, then find an area you are interested outside of gaming and see if you can get an apprenticeship or something out of it. College isn't for everyone, but if after trying it's still doing nothing then maybe it's not for you. You might have to do some soul searching on this one and figure out where you want to be in life.

Maybe I'm talking out of my ass, but I hope that helps.

 

[WhyWasThat]

I think you should take one thing at a time, and I know this is gonna sound stupid and cliche, but don't compare yourself to others. It's only gonna make yourself worse, and trust me, I've been there.

See how you feel after you stop having cravings for a smoke because having that kind of withdraw will affect your mood. So, just focus on kicking the habit for now and see if you still feel that way. Then when you can manage it with classes, go find a school club that might be of interest of you, or talk to some people in your classes to form a study group. You'd be surprised by how friendships start because of that.

If college isn't working out for you, then find an area you are interested outside of gaming and see if you can get an apprenticeship or something out of it. College isn't for everyone, but if after trying it's still doing nothing then maybe it's not for you. You might have to do some soul searching on this one and figure out where you want to be in life.

Maybe I'm talking out of my ass, but I hope that helps.

I appreciate the words of advice, born of experience.
*kisses cheeks*

 

[Wasted]

I highly suggest you seek out outside help, especially if you had thoughts of harming yourself or others. Be it family, friends, religious authority, or therapists/psychologists.

 

[LordBongo]

I honestly feel you, man. I'm having one of those days today. My job is frustrating and difficult but I don't even get paid decently for it because my boss is a terrible business owner. I have no social life because this job takes up so much of my time and I have no extra money to do anything that I want to do since I live paycheque to paycheque. I feel like an abused machine. There are so many things I'd rather shift my focus in life on, but I'm so stuck in my current position that I can't even fathom how I might break out of it. My only option seems to be to move back home, but then I'd feel like a failure and probably fall into an even deeper depression.

So yeah, life's shit. I'm hoping things turn around real goddamn soon. I wish the best for both of us.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

I think you should take one thing at a time, and I know this is gonna sound stupid and cliche, but don't compare yourself to others. It's only gonna make yourself worse, and trust me, I've been there.

See how you feel after you stop having cravings for a smoke because having that kind of withdraw will affect your mood. So, just focus on kicking the habit for now and see if you still feel that way. Then when you can manage it with classes, go find a school club that might be of interest of you, or talk to some people in your classes to form a study group. You'd be surprised by how friendships start because of that.

If college isn't working out for you, then find an area you are interested outside of gaming and see if you can get an apprenticeship or something out of it. College isn't for everyone, but if after trying it's still doing nothing then maybe it's not for you. You might have to do some soul searching on this one and figure out where you want to be in life.

Maybe I'm talking out of my ass, but I hope that helps.

I appreciate the words of advice, born of experience.
*kisses cheeks*

Awww shucks...

My inbox is always open if you ever feel the need.

God speed!

 

[Weaver]

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. But you can be surprised by how much can change with time. Hang in there.

Hang in there? Story of my life. It feels like I've been 'hanging in there' for years, waiting for things to improve. Or simply change, I'd settle for change.

As someone who has struggled with life for a long time, there's a cruel secret to the world; only you can change your own life.

I'm sure you've heard all the advice people will give you like "wait it out, something good will happen" and shit like that. To try and just ride out the storm and hope for a miracle.

Here's the truth: nothing good ever happens. You've lived it and you know it, the next step is to just accept it; waiting around for good things to happen doesn't work. You have to take the bull by the horns and instigate change to MAKE it happen. There is no easy way to do it, and you can't just go super saiyan and fix your life by next week. It might take a year, maybe two, maybe more. It can be done, but you need a plan and you should really try and stick to it.

My advice is to tackle one thing at a time, doing everything at once will just drive you crazy. I don't know you, but you should probably ask friends and family for help; or if they're shit at it or you don't have any think about seeing a professional of some sort.

"If you're going through hell, keep going" I believe is the saying. You've pulled over to the side of the road and are lounging around in hell. It's time to get back into the drivers seat and get the fuck out of there.

 

[WhyWasThat]

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. But you can be surprised by how much can change with time. Hang in there.

Hang in there? Story of my life. It feels like I've been 'hanging in there' for years, waiting for things to improve. Or simply change, I'd settle for change.

As someone who has struggled with life for a long time, there's a cruel secret to the world; only you can change your own life.

I'm sure you've heard all the advice people will give you like "wait it out, something good will happen" and shit like that. To try and just ride out the storm and hope for a miracle.

Here's the truth: nothing good ever happens. You've lived it and you know it, the next step is to just accept it; waiting around for good things to happen doesn't work. You have to take the bull by the horns and instigate change to MAKE it happen. There is no easy way to do it, and you can't just go super saiyan and fix your life by next week. It might take a year, maybe two, maybe more. It can be done, but you need a plan and you should really try and stick to it.

My advice is to tackle one thing at a time, doing everything at once will just drive you crazy. I don't know you, but you should probably ask friends and family for help; or if they're shit at it or you don't have any think about seeing a professional of some sort.
"If you're going through hell, keep going" I believe is the saying. You've pulled over to the side of the road and are
lounging around in hell. It's time to get back into the drivers seat and get the fuck out of there.

Sound advice, thanks. And I actually have laid out three goals for myself since the year started, which I'm hoping to have achieved by the start of 2015. One is to quit smoking, the other is to have a target amount of money saved (I've never saved a dime in my life - that needs to change) and the third is to make it comfortably into my second year of college, because I'm repeating first year at the moment, and I half suspect that I only dislike my course because I've never put any real work into it. I don't even show up for lectures half the time.

So yeah, I am trying to make the change. But it's only the beginning.

 

[IndomitableSam]

Baby step goals really, really help. Like the ones you have. If you need to, break it down further, too. "I resolve not to spend $10 this week on food/drinks", and find a glass jar in your room (if it'll be safe there) and at the end of the week if you did it, put the money in. Not at the start of the week, unless you think you can resist the temptation all week. Putting money into something you can see piling up at the end of the week is quite a reward.

Start learning to cook, or take daily walks and try and go just a little further every time - past one more house, one more block, whatever. Take different routes to classes if you can.

Someone catch your eye at school? Start showing up to all the lectures. After a while start sitting a bit closer and such, take it slow. Doesn't mean you want to date them, could be someone you get a good vibe from and might want to be friends with.

Look into clubs at school, too. There might be one for you. I joined a few clubs at University when I was still in high school. Well, didn't join, just went to a few.

One weird thing I do that always eases my depression a bit this time of year it to look up the sunrise/sunset times daily. Up here in the barren north of southern Canada, it's dark from 4:30pm until about 8:15 am right now. I like to check every day and see just how much more sunlight we get every day. It helps to know the world's getting just a little bit brighter every day that goes by.

 

[lacktheknack]

Hang in there? Story of my life. It feels like I've been 'hanging in there' for years, waiting for things to improve. Or simply change, I'd settle for change.

Let's imagine you've gone on a blind date. You arrive at the restaurant, claim your reservation and sit down.

She'll be along any minute.

...

...

How long do you sit there before you let the bitter disappointment flow and you leave?

After answering that, ask yourself how long you've been waiting for something good to happen. How long are you willing to keep sitting before you give up and set up something else? You're better to get off your butt and make something good happen than to sit there and hope.

Plus, the act of making things better can act as its own motivation after a bit.

 

[Weaver]

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. But you can be surprised by how much can change with time. Hang in there.

Hang in there? Story of my life. It feels like I've been 'hanging in there' for years, waiting for things to improve. Or simply change, I'd settle for change.

As someone who has struggled with life for a long time, there's a cruel secret to the world; only you can change your own life.

I'm sure you've heard all the advice people will give you like "wait it out, something good will happen" and shit like that. To try and just ride out the storm and hope for a miracle.

Here's the truth: nothing good ever happens. You've lived it and you know it, the next step is to just accept it; waiting around for good things to happen doesn't work. You have to take the bull by the horns and instigate change to MAKE it happen. There is no easy way to do it, and you can't just go super saiyan and fix your life by next week. It might take a year, maybe two, maybe more. It can be done, but you need a plan and you should really try and stick to it.

My advice is to tackle one thing at a time, doing everything at once will just drive you crazy. I don't know you, but you should probably ask friends and family for help; or if they're shit at it or you don't have any think about seeing a professional of some sort.
"If you're going through hell, keep going" I believe is the saying. You've pulled over to the side of the road and are
lounging around in hell. It's time to get back into the drivers seat and get the fuck out of there.

Sound advice, thanks. And I actually have laid out three goals for myself since the year started, which I'm hoping to have achieved by the start of 2015. One is to quit smoking, the other is to have a target amount of money saved (I've never saved a dime in my life - that needs to change) and the third is to make it comfortably into my second year of college, because I'm repeating first year at the moment, and I half suspect that I only dislike my course because I've never put any real work into it. I don't even show up for lectures half the time.

So yeah, I am trying to make the change. But it's only the beginning.

That's a great start! You know, everyone talks about the downward spiral but no one talks about the upward spiral.

What will happen is you'll start to take pride in your accomplishments (for me it was initially just waking up before noon). Meeting these goals will grant you a tiny piece of self worth, accomplishment and motivation. That will then fuel further goals, which will fuel further goals, etc.

The hardest part is really to seriously start climbing out of the hole. The closer you are to the top the easier you'll find it to keep on going. I know how it can feel to not want to wake up in the morning oh trust me I know. But it IS possible to turn things around.

 

[GonzoGamer]

I highly suggest you seek out outside help, especially if you had thoughts of harming yourself or others. Be it family, friends, religious authority, or therapists/psychologists.

Yes, first and foremost, if you are really considering harm to yourself and/or others (besides picking up smoking again), you should call 1800 273-8255. Seriously.

But it really may be the smoking. Were you a heavy smoker? What helped me quit was lots of exercise (gets your mind off of it), lots and lots of water (it replaces the addicted cells that are dying: the main cause of your discomfort), and the electronic cigarettes. No it's not the same but the ecig helps, is actually cheaper, and I prefer it when I'm driving(there's no fiddling).

And don't worry about not playing games; nothing good is coming out right now anyway.

 

[WhyWasThat]

I highly suggest you seek out outside help, especially if you had thoughts of harming yourself or others. Be it family, friends, religious authority, or therapists/psychologists.

Yes, first and foremost, if you are really considering harm to yourself and/or others (besides picking up smoking again), you should call 1800 273-8255. Seriously.

But it really may be the smoking. Were you a heavy smoker? What helped me quit was lots of exercise (gets your mind off of it), lots and lots of water (it replaces the addicted cells that are dying: the main cause of your discomfort), and the electronic cigarettes. No it's not the same but the ecig helps, is actually cheaper, and I prefer it when I'm driving(there's no fiddling).

And don't worry about not playing games; nothing good is coming out right now anyway.

I don't believe I need professional help. I have no intention of harming myself or anybody else. As for talking to someone, that would be nice. I'd probably break down in tears though, so it couldn't be family or friends.

 

[sky14kemea]

Moved this to the Advice forum, since I think it's better suited here. If you want it moved back you can just ask, though.

I hope things get better for you. =[

 

[GonzoGamer]

I highly suggest you seek out outside help, especially if you had thoughts of harming yourself or others. Be it family, friends, religious authority, or therapists/psychologists.

Yes, first and foremost, if you are really considering harm to yourself and/or others (besides picking up smoking again), you should call 1800 273-8255. Seriously.

But it really may be the smoking. Were you a heavy smoker? What helped me quit was lots of exercise (gets your mind off of it), lots and lots of water (it replaces the addicted cells that are dying: the main cause of your discomfort), and the electronic cigarettes. No it's not the same but the ecig helps, is actually cheaper, and I prefer it when I'm driving(there's no fiddling).

And don't worry about not playing games; nothing good is coming out right now anyway.

I don't believe I need professional help. I have no intention of harming myself or anybody else. As for talking to someone, that would be nice. I'd probably break down in tears though, so it couldn't be family or friends.

Then maybe you should call the number anyway and explain that, it's not like they'll send the guys in the white coats for you as soon as you call.

 

[Able Seacat]

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. But you can be surprised by how much can change with time. Hang in there.

Hang in there? Story of my life. It feels like I've been 'hanging in there' for years, waiting for things to improve. Or simply change, I'd settle for change.

Oh ok. Sorry, I was just trying to be positive is all. Hope you manage to work things out.

 

[The Night Angel]

I think what Fiz said about going to clubs or societies is really important. In my first year in college I was in a prettty bad place, but going to different clubs and the like expanded my social circle, gave me confidence, and gave me reason to go to college other than for lectures, and once in college for other reasons, why not go to lectures? I can't tell you what will work best for you, we probably have different interests, but try a few clubs till one works, it's worth it.