Jack Thompson thinks i am....

[Zetona]

Someone who drives too fast and kills innocent demons over and over for their souls. (He wouldn't mention Forza 3's rewind feature.)

 

[PirateKing]

I am the Batman.

 

[sgtshock]

Please not another JT thread. Every time someone says his name, his 15 min os shame gets extended. He's no threat to our hobby and not worth even mentioning.

Maybe, but that doesn't have to stop this thread from being fun.

 

[Cherry Cola]

I'm Vin Diesel looking for Shambahla.

 

[GrinningManiac]

I'm a Manipulative, evil, backstabbing bastard with a god complex, megalomanic tendencies and an urge to create things that I alone rule, and a habit of burning things

Evil Genius
Spy from TF2
Sims
Any RTS
SimCity, Evil Genius, Total War franchise
SimsCity, Sims, Creatures 2, etc
Pyro from TF2

I really, REALLY like being in control of civilisations

 

[kiwisushi]

I am a footballer who has been transported to a world of metal, whilst being an otaku with a lightsabre and collecting small monsters and putting them in balls eventually ending up in a courtroom with an inept judge and a strange prosecutor who is a part time rock star!

(Fifa 09, Brutal Legend, No More Heroes, Pokemon Diamond and Apollo Justice Ace Attourney)

 

[Bassman_2]

I'm a genetically-enhanced, bass-playing MIT grad who beats up thugs in a Batsuit while fighting terrorists over the BLU territory.

That doesn't sound so bad.

(Bioshock, Beatles, Half-Life 2, Arkham Asylum, Call of Duty 4, Team Fortress 2)

 

[Ryan-Phoenixan]

... a parkour enthusiast with an urge to shoot aliens and beat up robots and pirates with my bare hands.

(Platform games and Half-Life, really.)

 

[Whoolpurse]

I am a looting batman, who likes to shoot germans and japanese dudes while driving around new york killing whores.

 

[Kayevcee]

I'm a massive-thighed powerhouse that can carry two hundred shotgun shells, a thousand rounds of .50 cal ammo, 50 anti-armour rockets, 80 assorted grenades, 600 plasma charges, 30 20mm sniper rounds, all the appropriate apparatus to fire them through, ten suicidal trained parrots, thirteen Serious Bombs and a lighter inside the pockets of my jeans, who can leap ten metres from a standing start and build a working lightsaber from the sort of random crap you find in bins but there's no way on Earth I can clear a four foot wall.

Despite my ludicrous personal arsenal and tendency towards attracting the mafia the way poo attracts flies (whom I then carve into thin strips with the aforementioned lightsaber) I'm not on any government or police watchlists because on weekends I'm an invisible super-patriot that likes to throw North Koreans off cliffs and can therefore be considered above reproach.

-Nick

 

[TheBXRabbit]

Mr. Thompson thinks I am a theoretical physicist that can mutate my arms into a variety of deadly weapons, and is currently employed as a Spectre hunting the Reapers while doing the occasional side jobs such as participating in a parkour messenger service and performing maintenance and repairs on a mining ship infected with zombies. I'm aiding the liberation of Mars from the Earth Defense Force, and I'm scouring the Capital Wasteland collecting bobbleheads, but those are more of a hobby.

Half-Life series
Prototype
Mass Effect
Mirrors Edge
Dead Space
Red Faction: Guerilla
Fallout 3

 

[Fox242]

Jack Thompson thinks I am an unholy, monstorus, Propel chugging killing machine whose DNA has been re-written to make me super violent due to spending 15 out of my (nearly) 20 years on this Earth playing video games. I am destined, along with millions of others, to become a part of a new race of brainwashed, delusional psychotics who feed on the blood of children and worship surviving mint-conditioned Atari 2600 while ruling the world and keeping Jack Thompson locked in a cage and throwing unsold cartridge games and severed human limbs at him for our daily amusement. That's what Jack Thompson thinks I am.

 

[DrunkenGator]

According to Thompson:
I'm just a dark knight with a penchant for sticking live grenades down my victims' pants.
(Final Fantasy IV and Fallout 3)

 

[Pilot Bush]

A noble warrior protecting our borders from aliens and daedra

 

[shotgunbob]

a zombie killing WW2 Veteran who drives racecars and plays gold

Dead rising
CoD1
CoD:WaW
Track Mania
Tiger woods 2010

 

[UnkeptBiscuit]

I'm a sentry gun aficionado DJ who enjoys the occasional military shoot-out.
Borderlands, DJ Hero, and Call of Duty 4.

 

[Once a Human]

A file clerk who's escaping from prison using dark side powers.

Last 3 games I played were SW: Force Unleashed, The Suffering, and Silent Hill.

Jack Thompson has a few good ideas about regulating violent video games, but he's a terrible human being and a pathological liar.

 

[Snotnarok]

A genocidle gun nut killing everyone from cartoons to terrorists to civilians who sometimes likes to wait in a line with friends vs a line of imps, OR waiting for my turn in a field of people patiently waiting to beat eachother stupid. Or perhaps I like being a 3 foot animal who runs at mach 2? Hell I don't know!

Shooters
RPGs
TBRPG
Sonic :O

For further humor I've never fired a gun in my life, yet I've played over 60 shooters

 

[Taxman1]

A writer who travels back in time slashing through enemies
with a big giant spear that will also go into the future and
kill some nazis
Dynasty Warriors 3, Halo 2, and Medal of Honor: Heroes 2

 

[TheSeventhLoneWolf]

I play no ninja games. But look at me now.