Jesus-ifying Zero Punctuation

[Blue Sonnet]

If there is a God,it's got to be a she.

Nope.Me and a friend of mine found out that if there is a god,It has to be a MALE.No woman can fuck up so badly.

As evidenced by the atrocious, purely functional design of male genitalia.

Still remember the first time I saw an adult one IRL - scared the Jesus-ified ZP out of me...

BTW: When God made man s/he made him out of string, he had a little left, so s/he made a little thing.

 

[Grayjack]

On that subject though, I think anyone owning one of those bumper stickers showing Calvin from C&H prostrate before a cross deserves to have their windows smashed.

I've never seen one but, agreed, that's the same as making C&H porn for me. x_x

Why? Why would you mention such a thing? X_X

 

[McMo0^]

this is nothing, i've seen JC/DC hoodies/t-shirts. Fucking Jesus Christ Demon Crusher, i mean come on. I mean for one, I personally don't recall Jesus doing much in terms of demon crushing, more healing the sick, and walking, and the like. Religion is a joke. They've put so much effort into modernising religion, keeping it with the times to lure people into "salvation" that they basically go ahead and renounce laws written in stone to get more people on the band wagon. I'd actually have some form of respect for them if they renounced technology and lived like they did in the olden days, seeing as 90% of modern life for them is the work of satan.

/rant

 

[Olikunmissile]

Before you come and attempt to flog me, read on.

I was walking the other day, and I saw a girl in what appeared to be a Zero Punctuation hoody. Being a fan, of course I was going to look, and also considering the design was one not featured on the website. Upon closer inspection, I was able to see it was a Christian spin off hoody using the Zero Punctuation style lettering and characters. WTF? I almost ripped it off her. Why are they doing this?!

Glad you didn't rip it off her, I think there may be laws against it, lol.

 

[SecretTacoNinja]

On that subject though, I think anyone owning one of those bumper stickers showing Calvin from C&H prostrate before a cross deserves to have their windows smashed.

I've never seen one but, agreed, that's the same as making C&H porn for me. x_x

Why? Why would you mention such a thing? X_X

Because I know it exists somewhere. Rule 34.

Just be glad I didn't go into detail.

 

[Ushario]

Don't worry OP, wanting to rip clothing off women is part of growing up, you don't need to feel ashamed

Beat me to it! *grumbles*

 

[Grayjack]

On that subject though, I think anyone owning one of those bumper stickers showing Calvin from C&H prostrate before a cross deserves to have their windows smashed.

I've never seen one but, agreed, that's the same as making C&H porn for me. x_x

Why? Why would you mention such a thing? X_X

Because I know it exists somewhere. Rule 34.

Just be glad I didn't go into detail.

The reason I quoted you was because you reminded me of a inappropriate image of C&H.

 

[Kayevcee]

Hmm. Lotta hate in here. I hope that authors find it cathartic.

What did this shirt actually look like? It sounds like the sort of thing Cafepress started churning out after Dick Cheney's little friend-shotgunning incident a while back. They released "HAN SHOT FIRST" Star Wars style t-shirts that said "CHENEY SHOT FIRST". I thought it was quite funny, in an obvious sort of way.

There are thousands of iterations of this sort of thing all over the internet. Lampoon clothing is big business. I wonder who's making the ZP one, though.

-Nick

 

[Arrers]

And finally if Idoletry is forbidden

It's interesting to note that when the Bible taught people to murder Adulterers, and we read it, we should remember that Adultery was not cheating back then. The Bible clearly defines adultery as having a sexual thought or urge towards another person, no matter who that person is or whether or not you're taken. Adultery is also punishable by death, according to the bible.

I think you misunderstand me. Idoletry is worshiping an Idol rather than an actual deity (and it is a real word, I just probably spelt it wrong). It's forbidden under one of the ten commandments ("Thou shalt not cast graven images of the lord" or somthing along those lines) and is why you get crosses in churches and not a great big statue of God. Anyway, I just felt I had to clarify on that.

 

[Kiereek]

you should have just torn it off her anyhow... you know why.

 

[Casual Shinji]

if God wanted me dead, she'd do it herself

I never got the whole gender of God question. If there was always only one god, why would it need a gender? And if God is omnipotent couldn't s/he easily change his/her gener easily? And finally if Idoletry is forbidden, why do keep giving him/her a form in the first place?

Oh well, you just trying to be cotnroversial. I shouldn't be dumping my opinions about other people's posts on this thread.

EDIT: I can't help it.

EDIT: Additional point: Why should God be a he?

If I remember correctly somewhere in Genesis it said that God supposedly created Adam after his own appearance.

I always thought that was a metaphor for self-awarness. But that said they might have gained self-aweness when they ate the forbidden fruit.

Theology is tricky.

It means that when Adam was created he basicaly WAS God. But this meant that Adam had no other purpose except to just BE. When a part was taken from him to create Eva he received a sense of want and need and thus purpose.
Behold my Theologist's brain.

 

[ben---neb]

Presumly he/she is trying to be edgy and/or provocative and/or offensive. I have to say that as a Christian in doesn't bother me in the slightest. God is a supernatural being outside of any gender.

Why does everyone keep assuming I'm out to offend?
I don't even believe in god - I obviously don't think, if it did exist, it would really be a she.

It'd probably be...
Well, an it.
To clarify once and for all: jesus christ it was a joke you guys

I know, i find it funny to respond to take everything people say perfectly seriously because people do it to me a lot. Sorry if I annoyed you.

 

[gdnvs]

EDIT: Additional point: Why should God be a he?

If I remember correctly somewhere in Genesis it said that God supposedly created Adam after his own appearance.

Yes, it did. The church also said that Mary Magdalene was a whore until a few decades ago. It's a book, written entirely by men, that constantly makes nods that women are some how inferior and the cause of all the evil in the world.

So why should we believe God is a she, if she exsists? My reasoning is simple. When giving birth to a child, what sex does every baby start as? That's right, female. Before that Y chromosome kicks in, every man was a female for a short period of time.

If a God exists he/she wouldn't have a gender at all, because in a MONO-theistic image there is no reproduction well is there. And people you do not have to get pissed at me, I didn't even state God was male I merely pointed out a fact.

 

[Soxafloppin]

Popstation can get away with it, so will Zero Atheism.

Very clever, it could catch on.

 

[VincentMm]

Do you really think that god has sexual organs.

No, because I don't think god exists at all.
It was just a joke, really - a joke with some truth in it, but a joke nonetheless.

Christians are pretty good at adopting popular practices and symbols as their own. Just ask about why Christmas falls on the 25th! (Hint: It ain't Jesus' birthday)

<3

You should probably add more so you don't get in trouble for basically posting "this."

Yeah, I just found out about that...
oops.

 

[Snowalker]

Oh, and stop putting the Confederate flag on the back of your hick truck.
We get it, you don't like black people or being able to see out the back window.
The South lost!
144 years ago!
Seriously people.

Sorry, that pissed me off a bit, I'm from the south, and the Confederate doesn't mean ethier of those things to my friends and me. It means we're proud of where we came from, just the same as an american flag, or our state flag. If you think its racist then maybe you should look more into why the civil war was fought. It was about rights and we believe they were being violated, not just that we wanted to keep slaves, but also that we thought it was unfair that a man without any understanding of why we wanted them telling us we couldn't have them. If you don't believe me, you can look this up, black people fought on the southern as well the northern. So, please before you start hating because you think we're hating learn what its all about. As for losing the war, you're right, we lost.

 

[irishstormtrooper]

if God wanted me dead, she'd do it herself.

And where did you learn that little nugget?

Maybe from Dogma. It's a movie where God is a woman and Jesus was black.

 

[Merteg]

The Zero Punctuation font is black writing with a white background. That's hardly trademarked by The Escapist.

 

[quiet_samurai]

Lol, yeah, ripping the shirt off of a random passing girl would have been rad!! You should have said "keep quiet if you want to live!" while you were doing it.

I kid, don't really do that.

 

[Joshimodo]

I almost ripped it off her.

Almost isn't good enough.


You even had two reasons to rip it off her.