Jimquisition: The Sh*tiest Games of 2012

TAdamson

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Therumancer said:
Showing a bunch of primitive and backwards people AS primitive and backwards people is not in any way, shape, or form racist. Calling a guy who literally walks around and throws spears because that is the cutting edge of his availible technology a "spear chucker" isn't racist either.
Oh. You're racist as well as homophobic huh? Nice to know.

I usually go through your posts looking for when you make the suggestion that every homosexual man is a potential paedophile, but this time you come up with this.

The term "spear-chucker" is an epithet directed towards Africans. It's a racist term. Exactly like "Jungle-Bunny". Exactly like ******.

And while there is a difference between overt racism (Which is analogous to your overt homophobia) and unconscious racism, media where all the heroes are clean cut white people and the antagonists are brown people depicted as savages still has worrying subtext.

Comparing this to games like this to games made by the KKK is like comparing the films written by Goebbels to those written by Hitler. The racism/anti-semitism in the former is subtle while the racism in the latter is clumsy and blatant. The fact that the racist subtext in Revelations 2012 *might* not be intentional is irrelevant.
 

weirdee

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Apr 11, 2011
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That thing looks a lot less purple in person. I'm kind of disappointed.
 

TAdamson

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Mr_Terrific said:
I'd like to see a "Not horribley broken S**tiest game of 2012" Next week. That way, we can get to the notable s***ty games like...

Ninja Gaiden 3- The already absurd boss resurrects a f***ing Dinosaur....a f***ing Dinosaur?

Lollipop Chainsaw- This game has no redeeming qualities. NONE. If you like this game, then you are a piece of s*** and you know you are....lol. J/k....sort of o_O

Metal of Honor: Warfighter a.k.a Metal of Honor: Doorbreacher- The name alone should win it an award for s***iest game of 2012.

Sorcery- While not as bad as anything on Kinect, the game is f***ing terrible and a huge waste of an IP with potential. These game screams "Move? We're not even trying anymore..." -Sony.

Star Wars Kinect- The fact that MS had the balls to release a custom console around the honking pile of s***. The only fun (read: funny) thing about it is how many times MS will cram Dance Central (the only good game on Kinect) into every game on Kinect.

Fable The Journey- It's not on rails and there's a dry erase board out there somewhere with the names of 50 dirty f***in liars that work at various publications that agree with this statement. I'd actually like to see the names of those that signed the board as I'm convinced it was done at gunpoint.

There's more, but I have toys and s*** to build my kids....so Merry Xmas all!
You do know you can swear on the internet? All you're achieving is making your writing less readable.
 

Dr. Mongo

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Oct 31, 2011
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Huh. Did manage to avoid all of the shitty ones this year.
Merry Christmas and thank God for you Jim.
 

Aardvark Soup

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I actually loved Silent Hill HD Collection for the simple fact that it allowed me to finally play Silent Hill 2 (I don't own a PS2), which is my favourite game I played this year. While I encountered frequent lag in Silent Hill 3, part 2 was still perfectly playable (in the PS3-version, at least). Furthermore, you have the option of still using the original voice acting, and I was not bothered by cosmetic changes because I simply had never played the original.

Of course the fact that Silent Hill 3 is glitchy still makes this a horribly broken product, and they really should have just released these games (in their original form) on PSN instead. Nonetheless, I'm still really glad this exists because Silent Hill 2 is such a fantastic game.
 

mysecondlife

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Jimothy Sterling said:
The Sh*tiest Games of 2012

There's something to be said for tradition, and the Jimquisition's most sacred tradition is the year-end evisceration of the year's very worst game.

Watch Video
I recall your trying to smash a videogame with a hammer (with terrible effort) in your previous video. I don't remember what specific videogame it was but I don't think that made the list.
 

Havtorn

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Aug 27, 2012
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Hehe. The first minute of this video was pretty much spot on. Happiest time of the year, my arse. Thanks, Jim, for getting me to laugh a bit about it. :)
 

Raioken18

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If I can I'd like to add Carrier Command: Operation Gaia and Dungeon Defenders. Two of the most terrible gales I've played not only this year but this generation.

Carrier Command is a horrible game that switches between clunky control of vehicles in a strategy type thing to a foot soldier on the battlefield, and it is that awful. Both get caught on random slopes and scenery, it's got a pathetic aiming system and basically just blows so very very much.

Dungeon Defenders was one of the purchases I made because of friends, which was a mistake. This piece of crap is so boring and uninteresting. The AI for your own turrets is worse than the computer AI to the extent that it often glitches out and enemies can walk right over blocking units or are not targeted by friendly attack units. It's so pathetic.

Neither of those games should have been sold for money. I feel the same way Jim fely about that last game towards these two.
 

Bindal

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Raioken18 said:
Dungeon Defenders was one of the purchases I made because of friends, which was a mistake. This piece of crap is so boring and uninteresting. The AI for your own turrets is worse than the computer AI to the extent that it often glitches out and enemies can walk right over blocking units or are not targeted by friendly attack units. It's so pathetic.
Just because you found it boring doesn't make a game instantly bad - I played it and found it actually decent. Not a game I would buy (played on a Free Weekend), but I didn't find anything wrong with it, either.
 

Frank_Sinatra_

Digs Giant Robots
Dec 30, 2008
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NameIsRobertPaulson said:
Frank_Sinatra_ said:
Aww... I wanted the Zone of the Enders HD Collection to be with the Silent Hill HD Collection.
Both of those Konami decided to diddle over a dog house.


Yeah Konami, let's hand ZOE over to a studio who has only made tie-in games for Nickelodeon.
Morons.
What did they do to it that made it awful? I was considering getting it if only for the Vector Cannon.
Ya know how right on the box of Zone of the Enders it says it's "High Speed Robot Action?"

Imagine that with the game lagging and the framerate being choppy as fuck.
 

cahtush

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1337mokro said:
You know what is so bad about Steel Battalion for the 360?

I actually loved it to death despite all the horrible horrible horrible (did I mention horrible?) fucking bugs and disastrously bad control scheme.

To me Steel Battalion is not just a bad game it is a tease, a tease of what mech games MIGHT have been like had Microsoft not decided to mass produce a fucking motion controller as cheaply as possible and then still charge way to much for it. If you imagine a Steel Battalion without bugs and with a pin point accurate motion detection system you would basically have my game of 2012.

I will condemn it as utter shite but I will do anything in my power to preserve it spirit and what it tried to do so that we one day might be piloting mechs in our own living rooms just by waving our arms around.
The game you're looking for is Steel Battalion, the original released in 2002 for Xbox.
Though it probably costs a fortune now, as it comes with this beast of a controller:
 

bandit0802

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I was so excited for Steel Battalion when I heard the concept. Then I played the demo. $60 well-withheld.
 

CyberAkuma

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People who cry and complain about Resident Evil 6 not being on this list should seriously shove a sweaty dirty suck up their throats. RE6 is *NOT* a bad game - it is a disappointing game, one that perhaps even shits on the entire survival horror franchise but to claim that it's one of the worst games is just taking it so absurdly far that just seriously... shut the hell up.

These games on the list are so broken that they borderline scams. They are so poor in their design you'd think that the developers intended to steal your money as if they made a cash grab-and-run with your money.

RE6 REALLY doesn't fall into that category. The game is not *BROKEN*, it is not a putrid pile of shit. The game wasn't designed with the intend to downright steal your money under fraudulent circumstances. (See 'The War Z')

The games Jim puts on there are so borderline horrendous that; like he said - defies human comprehension. The motives and reasons behind RE6 are not hard to understand at all - Crapcom wanted to appeal all audiences - NOT a good reason for the games design but a comprehensible one.

Stop comparing RE6 to these games. Sure it might have disappointed you, but it's far FAR from being anywhere NEAR as broken as these games. RE6 might be at worst a 6/10 game. It's nowhere near the bottom-of-the-barrel.
 

1337mokro

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cahtush said:
1337mokro said:
You know what is so bad about Steel Battalion for the 360?

I actually loved it to death despite all the horrible horrible horrible (did I mention horrible?) fucking bugs and disastrously bad control scheme.

To me Steel Battalion is not just a bad game it is a tease, a tease of what mech games MIGHT have been like had Microsoft not decided to mass produce a fucking motion controller as cheaply as possible and then still charge way to much for it. If you imagine a Steel Battalion without bugs and with a pin point accurate motion detection system you would basically have my game of 2012.

I will condemn it as utter shite but I will do anything in my power to preserve it spirit and what it tried to do so that we one day might be piloting mechs in our own living rooms just by waving our arms around.
The game you're looking for is Steel Battalion, the original released in 2002 for Xbox.
Though it probably costs a fortune now, as it comes with this beast of a controller:
Already own it :)

But that is the exact point. It COST and still COSTS a fortune.

Motion control would allow you to do the same things with a price tag of ... 0$ (unless you bought a kinect JUST for that game). I will keep dreaming though. Maybe that virtual reality console will give me what I desire.
 

Strain42

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I'm assuming that The Escapist has it's fair share of Film majors or Game Designers, can somebody PLEASE get Jim Sterling an acting job playing a legitimate villain? That would be the most amazing thing of all time.

I didn't play any of the games on this list, so I guess I don't really have to worry about that.

I dunno what I would consider my worst game of 2012. I really only bought like 6 games this year, and I kind of enjoyed all of them.
 

-Dragmire-

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Mar 29, 2011
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Jimothy Sterling said:
RTR said:
What? No Resident Evil 6? That's a surprise.
Nowhere near notable enough to be worthy of the honor.
Have you tried Warfighter? I haven't played it but it got quite a bit of negative press, I kind of expected it to be in the list.
 

Jimothy Sterling

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-Dragmire- said:
Jimothy Sterling said:
RTR said:
What? No Resident Evil 6? That's a surprise.
Nowhere near notable enough to be worthy of the honor.
Have you tried Warfighter? I haven't played it but it got quite a bit of negative press, I kind of expected it to be in the list.
I reviewed Warfighter for Destructoid and it got a straight 5/10. Totally mediocre. Even less worthy of note than RE6, really, as it was the epitome of ditch water.