Jimquisition: Two Rules For Square Enix

[Asuka Soryu]

Squenix has gone a bit too far into the 'publishing shit for lots of money' spiral for me to even pay attention to what they announce any more, I'm sure many people feel the same.

Although I was never very fond of Japanese style games anyway, they always seem a little childish/ feminine to me.

That's natural, you grew up in a different culture. Are stereotypes and ideals are indented into us by an early age, so when we see cultures that do things differently, we tend to be distrubed by it and vice versa.

 

[Pyramid Head]

You forgot to mention that Square needs to go into rehab before it attempts to make any form of aesthetic design.

 

[Doc Theta Sigma]

I'll just leave this here:

http://www.auntiepixelante.com/?p=912

Behold. Jim Sterling in all his glory.

 

[cainx10a]

How about releasing a game when it's DONE rather than when some impatient gamer #142 wants his gaming fix?

I'll just leave this here:

http://www.auntiepixelante.com/?p=912

Behold. Jim Sterling in all his glory.

Hohohoho

The lady calls him on having to pay for sex and not knowing what a vagina looks like, and Ser Jim goes on railing about his ... bleh ... Listen that's like watching two grown kids arguing endlessly about how they are better than each other. They are both in the wrong here. Seriously, is it ok to call on a man for being a fat loser virgin? They were both in the wrong here, and I'm not even a Jim Sterling's fan. Sure, hate him if you must, but don't try to ignore the smell when it's clearly shit you are holding in your hand.

 

[Primus1985]

Normally I dont watch this series, Jim's level of douchey pretension is astronomical in scale.

However he is kinda right about Square Enix. If they would just focus on making one or two games at a time maybe they could get somewhere and we could get past the shitty FF13 crap and maybe get something oh I dont know GOOD.

 

[wooty]

The fact that Jim doesn't bash JRPGs for being JRPGs and that he didn't whine about FFXIII in the slightest raises my respect for him above my respect for Yahtzee now.

Thank God, for Jim.

I was thinking that too, focusing on what could be wrong with a studio taking on a tonne of workload and then announcing more titles and workloads is a very good point.

I'm with you, it adds a lot more to the discussion value other than just "lololJRPGweeaboofagz0rz!!masseffekt4lyf!", of which theres far too much of floating around out there.

 

[Jennacide]

The way he said right was funny for some reason, if you watched the vid you know which part.
OT: Does anyone really care about SE at this point?

Very sadly, yes, loads. The same people that will ignore all the glaring issues in FF13 and 14, including all the content that was outright pulled from the game.

Well, if you, like me, are perfectly content pretending FF XI & XIV never happened, the only FF left whose errors you need to skirt around is FF XIII (and granted, there is lots of skirting needed). Now, given that FF XII was marvellous, it's not really that much of a stretch to still hold out hope that either Versus-XIII, XIII-2 or eventually XV will be good.

I'm no longer that naive or hopeful. While FF12 was a breath of fresh air, FF10 had some rather troubling issues. Combat was good, story was typical melodramatic affair, and acting was all over the place. Then came X-2, better know as the abortion of Final Fantasy. FF13 and FF14 were epic cluster fucks, of course, but there are other things to consider.

Look at the change from Kingdom Hearts 1 to 2. Nomura getting full leadership of that project was just grim. Every character got a even more ridiculous design, with tons of belts and zippers. The story went from solid to completely batshit crazy. The cameo's got even more absurd, like bringing in Jack Sparrow or how about the FFX-2 pixies? >=| And then there is the issue of the Little Mermaid bit, or as I call it, the most embarassing moment in gaming. And I liked The Little Mermaid as a little girl, but fuck no, that was beyond stupid. Oh, and let's not forget the crazy ass side games with their obnoxious names. Really, 358/2 Days? REALLY?

And then of course we have the most recent entries in Front Mission, the Mana series, and other crappy spin-off's like Dirge of Cerberus, Crisis Core, and The After Years. (FF4 sequel) All of which were train wrecks.

So while others can keep high hopes for Versus, I don't. I've never been a fan of Nomura's, and I view him as one of the worst things to happen to Square other than the merger. It doesn't help the dev I loved the most at Square, Matsuno, has pretty much agreed with that statement.

I'll just leave this here:

http://www.auntiepixelante.com/?p=912

Behold. Jim Sterling in all his glory.

I'm not one of his fans either, but this is just stupid. Anna even admits Daphny eggs him on, then gets pissed when he slings the mud right back? I'm sorry, but that's straight up stupid. That's basically like picking a fight with a dog, then getting mad when it FUCKING BITES YOU. Judging from his general character, I'd go as far as to wager he intentionally picked those words to get under her skin, and in that regard, mission accomplished.

I will never quite understand how it's expected of everyone that gets the slightest bit of fame to suddenly change thier personality to be PC. Breaking news: this kind of shit has gone on for decades. Many people will go on record saying guys like Milton Burle and Dan Rather were giant assholes in real life. I may not like Jim, but at least he doesn't hide the fact he's a jackass.

 

[MatsVS]

I'm no longer that naive or hopeful. While FF12 was a breath of fresh air, FF10 had some rather troubling issues. Combat was good, story was typical melodramatic affair, and acting was all over the place. Then came X-2, better know as the abortion of Final Fantasy. FF13 and FF14 were epic cluster fucks, of course, but there are other things to consider.

Look at the change from Kingdom Hearts 1 to 2. Nomura getting full leadership of that project was just grim. Every character got a even more ridiculous design, with tons of belts and zippers. The story went from solid to completely batshit crazy. The cameo's got even more absurd, like bringing in Jack Sparrow or how about the FFX-2 pixies? >=| And then there is the issue of the Little Mermaid bit, or as I call it, the most embarassing moment in gaming. And I liked The Little Mermaid as a little girl, but fuck no, that was beyond stupid. Oh, and let's not forget the crazy ass side games with their obnoxious names. Really, 358/2 Days? REALLY?

And then of course we have the most recent entries in Front Mission, the Mana series, and other crappy spin-off's like Dirge of Cerberus, Crisis Core, and The After Years. (FF4 sequel) All of which were train wrecks.

So while others can keep high hopes for Versus, I don't. I've never been a fan of Nomura's, and I view him as one of the worst things to happen to Square other than the merger. It doesn't help the dev I loved the most at Square, Matsuno, has pretty much agreed with that statement.

I consider my youthful naiveté one of my more endearing traits, I'll have you know!

But yeah, Nomura is the dead badger fouling up the toilet-bowl, ain't he? I can't comment on the recent Kingdom Hearts as I thought that was gimmicky nonsense the first time around. And now with extra zippers? Fuck that. All your other criticisms seem right enough, though. Oh, except the FF4 sequel, which I also haven't played. I take you think I'm better off?

Bah, at this point I'm tempted to vomit out some dumb fucking clichés about broken clocks but I won't bother. I have absolutely zero objective reasons for thinking that the games will be good. Maybe I can hope that Nomura isn't actually an idiot, and has maybe even learned something from his own mistakes. Yeah, I know... not very likely.

 

[Jennacide]

I consider my youthful naiveté one of my more endearing traits, I'll have you know!

But yeah, Nomura is the dead badger fouling up the toilet-bowl, ain't he? I can't comment on the recent Kingdom Hearts as I thought that was gimmicky nonsense the first time around. And now with extra zippers? Fuck that. All your other criticisms seem right enough, though. Oh, except the FF4 sequel, which I also haven't played. I take you think I'm better off?

Bah, at this point I'm tempted to vomit out some dumb fucking clichés about broken clocks but I won't bother. I have absolutely zero objective reasons for thinking that the games will be good. Maybe I can hope that Nomura isn't actually an idiot, and has maybe even learned something from his own mistakes. Yeah, I know... not very likely.

Didn't say being naive was always a bad thing. I actually sort of miss my innocence.

Anyway, yeah, The After Years sequel to FF4 was less than good. As for Kingdom Hearts, the first game actually was quite good. Sure, it was non-sensical fanservice pretty much, but it was a well told tale for what it was, well acted (mostly), with solid gameplay for both combat and platforming. KH2 wholesale removed the platforming, and dumbed the combat down to near Crisis Core levels of spam X to win. As much as I hate the fascination with Sephiroth, he makes for the perfect case of why KH2 went very wrong. In the first game it was all about strategy if you wanted to beat him. You could theoretically do it at the lowest level possible, with no exp grinding. Comparatively, in KH2 if you want to beat him, almost no strategy is involved, and he can (and will) oneshot you if you're below a certain level.

 

[MatsVS]

Didn't say being naive was always a bad thing. I actually sort of miss my innocence.

Anyway, yeah, The After Years sequel to FF4 was less than good. As for Kingdom Hearts, the first game actually was quite good. Sure, it was non-sensical fanservice pretty much, but it was a well told tale for what it was, well acted (mostly), with solid gameplay for both combat and platforming. KH2 wholesale removed the platforming, and dumbed the combat down to near Crisis Core levels of spam X to win. As much as I hate the fascination with Sephiroth, he makes for the perfect case of why KH2 went very wrong. In the first game it was all about strategy if you wanted to beat him. You could theoretically do it at the lowest level possible, with no exp grinding. Comparatively, in KH2 if you want to beat him, almost no strategy is involved, and he can (and will) oneshot you if you're below a certain level.

Aye, that sounds awful indeed, and somehow symptomatic for Nomura-games in general. I mean, how many people complained about the one-button combat in FFXIII? Personally, I thought the paradigm system salvaged it somewhat, but that really only came into play during boss battles. I suppose this touches upon a broader subject, namely where stream-lining ends and dumbing down begins. However, I'm at work right now and the idea of pondering on that in the context of modern gaming seems even more depressing and tiring than... you know, being at work.

 

[The_Vigilant]

I wish the Square Enix fans would just get their sex changes and die. Every time I see one of those piles of filth occupying prime store shelf space, I cringe reflecting upon the development capital it wasted. Oh, the good games that could have been designed with that Yen.

Certainly not designed by Square Enix, though.

 

[Mosstromo]

Two small but potent rules that may change the world. It is surprising no one came up with them earlier.
I am buying pointy boots today to help enforce them.

 

[Genixma]

I hear Square-Enix is now going release one FF every year. To which I hope they follow your rules.

 

[GoddyofAus]

Does Final Fantasy even have a cohesive plot anymore?