That would save time and effort, plus you could keep a pair of them in your pocket right next to your condoms. However, finding the third party may be difficult to do on the go unless you're willing to check off the "Threesome" boxRednog said:
Just because she isn?t saying no doesn?t mean she is saying yes
- Thread starter The Almighty Aardvark
- Start date
You asked a question. The answer was the fact that there's still inequality between the sexes.The Almighty Aardvark said:
Gender issues is paramount to why there is a double standard.
Lol, that's quaint. Because all of the threads are so engaging. At least this is something mildly interesting for once.SmashLovesTitanQuest said:*Sigh*
Can we please stop talking about rape. Please. Just for one day.
This is what The Escapist would look like without gender issue threads.
I would've thought that it'd be fairly obvious if a girl doesn't want to do it, but for some reason isn't actively saying "no". Beyond her being asleep, but for most people, that's also a wee bit obvious.
I mean, it's like those adverts in the UK recently. "Sex if she doesn't want to is rape". Y'don't say? Well, I'll just let these five strippers out of my basement then!
But alas. As usual, before the first page is done, there will be much fighting. Rage cannons will fire, and logic will fall. Just another day in the great gender wars.
The year is 2012, and on the escapist forums, there are only heated arguments about gender issues.
I mean, it's like those adverts in the UK recently. "Sex if she doesn't want to is rape". Y'don't say? Well, I'll just let these five strippers out of my basement then!
But alas. As usual, before the first page is done, there will be much fighting. Rage cannons will fire, and logic will fall. Just another day in the great gender wars.
The year is 2012, and on the escapist forums, there are only heated arguments about gender issues.
It's a short lived novelty hardly worth a second glance, like a mustachioed woman.thebakedpotato said:
The poster the article is about depicts a woman who isn't awake laying on a couch next to a number of bottles of booze. She isn't saying anything.
Okay, now that I've covered that bit... what was your question again? Why is it the person who is awake's responsibility to figure out if/when sex is appropriate? Because they are the one who is awake. Glad we could clear that up.
As for getting drunk and stupidly passing out around people you don't know well enough to know for a fact that they are going to be people who don't have sex with you while you are passed out on the couch... that's poor judgement right there. Doesn't mean it should encounter the harsh consequence of a rape, but it's damn poor judgement. Hell, if I'm around people I find even unfamiliar (and therefore potentially questionable in the judgement department) and I neglect my drink for a time - I need a new drink, because someone might have thought "gee, if I give her these pills and she doesn't say no then I get sexy time today!" which is my responsibility to watch out for, sure, but it's a creep thing that shouldn't exist for me to have to be on the watch for.
People (not just women) have a hard time sticking up for themselves when they are not conscious. A spontaneous sleep-talk "no" isn't likely forthcoming but it isn't okay to have sex with people who aren't going to be aware you're having sex with them. Period. That's just a no. Right out. Stop. Seriously, it shouldn't need this much explanation. Person asleep = can't be saying yes to sex at that moment. Easy. Done.The Almighty Aardvark said:
Okay, now that I've covered that bit... what was your question again? Why is it the person who is awake's responsibility to figure out if/when sex is appropriate? Because they are the one who is awake. Glad we could clear that up.
As for getting drunk and stupidly passing out around people you don't know well enough to know for a fact that they are going to be people who don't have sex with you while you are passed out on the couch... that's poor judgement right there. Doesn't mean it should encounter the harsh consequence of a rape, but it's damn poor judgement. Hell, if I'm around people I find even unfamiliar (and therefore potentially questionable in the judgement department) and I neglect my drink for a time - I need a new drink, because someone might have thought "gee, if I give her these pills and she doesn't say no then I get sexy time today!" which is my responsibility to watch out for, sure, but it's a creep thing that shouldn't exist for me to have to be on the watch for.
It isn't 'simple.' The law under which Assange is being tried covers actions during intercourse to which the receiver did not *expressly* agree. It also allows the receiver to change their mind at a later time.Psykoma said:
The problem is that, once a rape charge makes it to court, it is socially unacceptable to defend the accused. If you do, you're accused of "supporting" rape or "marginalizing" the claims of women who were actually raped when, in reality, failing to defend someone in the face of circumstantial evidence is exactly what legal systems are supposed to prevent.
Imagine if every person defending someone accused of a murder was accused of "supporting murder."
I agree with this sentiment. It seems like there have really been a lot of rape related threads lately...it's getting kind of depressing.SmashLovesTitanQuest said:*Sigh*
Can we please stop talking about rape. Please. Just for one day.
This is what The Escapist would look like without gender issue threads.
I for one, agree with what you are saying OP. But like others have said if the person cannot actually give consent because they are passed out then its rape obviously.
Actually I don't think it's as much of the inequality thing as... well honestly I'm not sure how to describe it. Part of it is surprise, just disbelieving shock that suddenly your in over your head and your drowning. Part of it is that introverts are usually targeted because we don't speak up, we endure in silence or are afraid of the outcome if we do say something. We hate having to argue and persuade people and sometimes if you do say "no" they'll just keep talking you down till its done.
Sometimes your guilted into it "wearing that? Don't tell me your gonna make me leave blue balled?"
Blaming the victim works very well, especially at making them think they aren't worthy of getting justice
I am a female who has never been raped but known several woman and one male who have been. And in my perfect world, everyone would tell everyone exactly what they wanted and no one would challenge it. That guy my friend from class picked up would have stopped trying to persuade her to continue even though she said no. The guy who practically forced the laced drink down my friends throat would have respected him when he said no the first time.
I don't want you to have to be responsible for what I want. I should be able to tell you yes or no, and that will either be the end of it or the start of something even better. But there are plenty of people out there who just... can't....
So the morale of this is, although you shouldn't have to it's important for both parties to make sure they understand the needs of the other. I don't mean the sounds they are making or the clothes they are wearing or the way they touch you. We have voices and no matter our gender we must learn to use it. A good idea to go away with is no matter what you think "ALWAYS ASK!" your other will appreciate it and can avoid any chance rape charges. It's kinda like a condom, even though you don't think you need one, wear one just incase
and you are not being offensive this is a genuine question that I have asked both myself and my friends before. I really appreciate you bringing it up and I hope this helps anyone reading.
Sometimes your guilted into it "wearing that? Don't tell me your gonna make me leave blue balled?"
Blaming the victim works very well, especially at making them think they aren't worthy of getting justice
I am a female who has never been raped but known several woman and one male who have been. And in my perfect world, everyone would tell everyone exactly what they wanted and no one would challenge it. That guy my friend from class picked up would have stopped trying to persuade her to continue even though she said no. The guy who practically forced the laced drink down my friends throat would have respected him when he said no the first time.
I don't want you to have to be responsible for what I want. I should be able to tell you yes or no, and that will either be the end of it or the start of something even better. But there are plenty of people out there who just... can't....
So the morale of this is, although you shouldn't have to it's important for both parties to make sure they understand the needs of the other. I don't mean the sounds they are making or the clothes they are wearing or the way they touch you. We have voices and no matter our gender we must learn to use it. A good idea to go away with is no matter what you think "ALWAYS ASK!" your other will appreciate it and can avoid any chance rape charges. It's kinda like a condom, even though you don't think you need one, wear one just incase
and you are not being offensive
this is a genuine question that I have asked both myself and my friends before. I really appreciate you bringing it up and I hope this helps anyone reading.
Oh, and can we stop bringing nonsensical bullshit into these discussions?Mylinkay Asdara said:
No one with an IQ better than that of a radish is going to honestly defend screwing someone who is *UNCONSCIOUS*; the problem is that there are issues of consent that go FAR beyond that. There are *existing laws*, as I detailed, that go far beyond that. Imagine a world where everyone is actually *AFRAID* to have sex with someone because they might later decide they were raped even after having said 'Yes.' That's a reality in some places. Is it a tiny number of claims? Absolutely. But the same people who defend these kinds of laws by claiming that rape convictions should require a *LOWER* burden of proof are the ones who think we need a *HIGHER* burden of proof for other violent crimes.
The campaign is a good one, but some people want to take that message WAY too far, legally.
I'd say it's a pretty simple affair...
If the other person is awake, not intoxicated or under the influence of any drugs, then it's their responsibility to say 'no' if they don't want to take things further. You can't be expected to ask 'is it OK if I...?' at every step along the way to sex. If their body language seems to be resistant, then stop... But they should still make it unambiguious and say something, as you are NOT a mind reader. Likewise, as soon as they ask you to stop, it's absolutely your responsibility to stop immediately.
If the other person is very intoxicated or incapacitated, somehow... Then obviously a lack of 'no' does not mean 'yes', as they are incapable of making that choice. To try anything with them is simply wrong, and would be considered rape.
If they're very drunk but still actively seeking sex... Then I think it comes down to your previous relationship with them. While this situation would never be considered rape, I think it is still taking advantage of someone if they're drunk and want sex because of it, and you're sober. If the other person is someone who you're already having sex with, then of course I'd say that this is OK as the other person isn't 'making a mistake'... they would have done the same thing sober.
Anyway, it's my $0.02
If the other person is awake, not intoxicated or under the influence of any drugs, then it's their responsibility to say 'no' if they don't want to take things further. You can't be expected to ask 'is it OK if I...?' at every step along the way to sex. If their body language seems to be resistant, then stop... But they should still make it unambiguious and say something, as you are NOT a mind reader. Likewise, as soon as they ask you to stop, it's absolutely your responsibility to stop immediately.
If the other person is very intoxicated or incapacitated, somehow... Then obviously a lack of 'no' does not mean 'yes', as they are incapable of making that choice. To try anything with them is simply wrong, and would be considered rape.
If they're very drunk but still actively seeking sex... Then I think it comes down to your previous relationship with them. While this situation would never be considered rape, I think it is still taking advantage of someone if they're drunk and want sex because of it, and you're sober. If the other person is someone who you're already having sex with, then of course I'd say that this is OK as the other person isn't 'making a mistake'... they would have done the same thing sober.
Anyway, it's my $0.02
Is it Rape Week on The Escapist or something?
I mean, is it? Should I have brought snacks? I never got any memos about it...
I mean, is it? Should I have brought snacks? I never got any memos about it...
SmashLovesTitanQuest said:*Sigh*
Can we please stop talking about rape. Please. Just for one day.
This is what The Escapist would look like without gender issue threads.
[sexist joke] I hate how girls always ***** how they get paid less. And I hate how they always expect us men to pay for their stuff during dates. Equal rights or free shit. ONE OR THE OTHER GIRLS. Also while I am at it I hate how during dinner they don't order anything saying they are not hungry yet they go and steal food off your plate. I ordered this food for myself! You should have ordered when the waiter was here! ***** *****! ANGER![/joke]
Seriously this stuff has been discussed WAY to much as of late and it actually starting to piss me off.
Also Rape is bad. M'kay? Let's just leave it at that. M'kay? M'kay.
Okay... what the hell? Did I miss something? Why is there suddenly a bunch of threads, articles and such about rape all of a sudden?
Anyways, as for the topic, if the girl is aware and able to talk, than she should have the responsoblity to say no. If she is drunk and passed out, its your job to keep your dick in your pants.
Anyways, as for the topic, if the girl is aware and able to talk, than she should have the responsoblity to say no. If she is drunk and passed out, its your job to keep your dick in your pants.
Very true. I asked this one girl out to my senor ball, and she didn't necessarily say yes. She told me she had to ask her...
Oh, we're talking about rape? Uh...
I'm not touching that with a 39 and a half foot pole...
Oh, we're talking about rape? Uh...
I'm not touching that with a 39 and a half foot pole...