Killing Husbands and Buying Condoms in Fable 2

[The_root_of_all_evil]

I'm just an ordinary average gal
I spoil my dog rotten
Because she's my pal
We're just ordinary average gals

We explore ordinary average haunts
with average beasties
and average taunts

We all go spelunking in spelunky caves
Kill a few bosses
Burn a few saves
We go home to average houses
with gifts in our arms
to placate frigid spouses

Ordinary Average Gal
Ordinary Average Gal
Ordinary Average Gal

(Sung to the tune of "Ordinary Average Guy" by Joe Walsh)

I would counter with...

I'm just a regular joe
With a regular job
I'm your average white
Suburbanite slob
I like football, and porno, and books about war
I've got an average house
With a nice hardwood floor
My wife, and my job
My kids, and my car
My feet on my table
And a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
Oh no, no way, uh uhh
No, I gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah

EVERYBODY!

 

[Lt. Sera]

Susan Arendt recently tried shooting a crossbow in real life, and didn't just miss the target, but the hay bale it was pinned to, too. She would make a lousy adventurer.

I actually found it harder to shoot a crossbow then I did a regular bow. Dunno why that is, maybe because it's a more natural movement, more feel on the thing.

On the article: you guys are really making me want to play this game. Can't wait till my housemate comes home with it later today.

 

[Susan Arendt]

You know, if you don't mind the metagaming Susan, you could buy and move into a house with animal magnetism. It gives you huge boosts to attraction (which is especially good for me.) I get +39 from house bonuses + magnetism, but I get -33 from being so corrupt. +40? from clothing and 10 and 15 for hair and beard.(manly man) If that doesn't get your man in the sack, Point and Laugh at his flaccid status and shoot him in the face(as shooting him in the groin wouldn't seem to have much effect).

Really enjoyed the article, btw. I find the off-hero time most enjoyable as well. Being a corrupt property mogul that saves the world because all his buildings are in the world is just super fun. I also like spoiling my dog. (I don't in real life)

Not only am I already in a house that gives me the Animal Magnetism boost, but I'm so attractive that I have a dozen people following me as soon as I set foot in town, all begging to do the nasty with me. Hubby just doesn't fancy me, I guess. Sigh.

And as has already been mentioned, this is not a review of the game, this is an account of my personal experience with it, which necessitates the use of at lot of "I" "me" and "mine."

Yes, you can be female, and you can get pregnant, though, thanks to my lackluster husband, I've yet to do.

Oh, and I really enjoy the woodcutting, too, for some bizarre reason. I think it's the "thunk" of the axe in the wood. Really quite soothing.

 

[indyfan]

So wait, if I made a female character, she could get pregnant? How in the...how do you fight with a child inside of you?! I don't think doctors would approve

too bad you can't go jolie and just adopt a kid...or two..or ten

 

[SlayerGhede]

I had originally planned on starting out good and going evil after some big dramatic plot point, coming home, sacrificing the wife, and leaving the kid to avenge her. A very nice villain origin story, y'know?

But I come back from the tower only to discover that the Temple of Shadow "donation" quest doesn't exist anymore, probably because I thwarted their attempts to attack the Temple of Light. Booo. I wish there were a "Revive the Temple of Shadow" quest so I can also have a hand in rebuilding the cult.

 

[TheCheryl]

I'm going to enjoy Fable 2 so much when I get it on that glorious yet sadly distant "someday". From what I hear it's got the immersion quality of Morrowind with the pretty graphics of any Lionhead game and that automatically makes it a must have. I loved this article. It was a rather charming recanting of your "matrimonial" plight if in I do say so myself.

 

[Frosk]

Just be careful. In Japan they'll [a href=http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081023/ap_on_re_as/as_japan_avatar_murder]arrest you for this kind of stuff.[/a]

Big difference here. Susan's husband is a bunch of pixels controlled by the game. The story you referenced is about some one, more or less, hacking into some one else's account in a game and deleting it. The woman wasn't arrested for murder, but for illegally accessing and changing files on a computer she didn't own.

I may plunk down the money for Fable II in the near future, I have some other stuff to get to right now.

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

Yes, you can be female, and you can get pregnant, though, thanks to my lackluster husband, I've yet to do.

Oh, and I really enjoy the woodcutting, too, for some bizarre reason. I think it's the "thunk" of the axe in the wood. Really quite soothing.

Y'know... I think I may have found the reason he's not quite willing to bring out the ol' babymaker....

 

[Dumbfish1]

I started off trying to become ultimate evil, you know, to see if you actually can become the weird devil thing to the right-------->
I chose all the evil decisions a child, broke up the crates, gave the warant papers to the villan. When i'd grown up, I went back to bowerstone, and it had become a slum. Perfect I thought, Now to start my reign of terror. I accepted an assasination mission, some old gypsy woman, tracked her down and killed her.

But then, as i was leaving I was attacked by the villagers, woman and children would flee before me, and you know what, it wasn't as satisfying as i'd thought. I was heart broken, the people hated me.

I think this is a great game, not because it's an epic story, (which it is)but because I care what the people think of me. You can become really conected to the world of albion.

 

[Susan Arendt]

Yes, you can be female, and you can get pregnant, though, thanks to my lackluster husband, I've yet to do.

Oh, and I really enjoy the woodcutting, too, for some bizarre reason. I think it's the "thunk" of the axe in the wood. Really quite soothing.

Y'know... I think I may have found the reason he's not quite willing to bring out the ol' babymaker....

Funny you should mention it...

I finally got the guy to come across, but only after I put on men's clothes. Make of that what you will.

 

[Rugged 13]

Yes, you can be female, and you can get pregnant, though, thanks to my lackluster husband, I've yet to do.

Oh, and I really enjoy the woodcutting, too, for some bizarre reason. I think it's the "thunk" of the axe in the wood. Really quite soothing.

Y'know... I think I may have found the reason he's not quite willing to bring out the ol' babymaker....

Funny you should mention it...

I finally got the guy to come across, but only after I put on men's clothes. Make of that what you will.

Bigamy would seem to get around this little problem of yours...

 

[Omnidum]

Is it possible to get a Groucho Marx mask, for any reason?

 

[TsunamiWombat]

Pretty sure you have a gay (digital) husband, Susan. It all kind of adds up

 

[Dumbfish1]

shhhh...
you're supost to be subtle!

 

[Unholykrumpet]

I think my friend said that she bought the book "come hither dear" from the bookshop, it gives her an expression that is like follow, but for the explicit purpose of having sex.

Also...I've never bought condoms before. Which shop sells them? I always find them in really awkward places...for example, my dog found two dig spots side by side...one had 2 condoms in it, and the other had an apple pie...right next to where I found the condoms. Make of it what you will.

Edit: My first wife and kid had an allowance of 300 gold a day, I visited them all the time, and made sure her emotions towards me were maxed all the time. Then I travel for a quest about mid game, just after seeing her, and all of a sudden I get 100 evil alignment points because I neglected my wife, and child services took the little one away. I was rather befuddled.

 

[indyfan]

How hard should it be for a guy with horns to get married?

geez, you kill some people and suddenly Im the bad guy!

and I couldn't even afford to live in a cardboard box if I wanted to, the gods do not smile upon me kids

 

[mike1921]

Edit: My first wife and kid had an allowance of 300 gold a day, I visited them all the time, and made sure her emotions towards me were maxed all the time. Then I travel for a quest about mid game, just after seeing her, and all of a sudden I get 100 evil alignment points because I neglected my wife, and child services took the little one away. I was rather befuddled.

How do you raise their allowance? Also I share your pain. This probably happened to you because the quest took a while. I honestly don't think your spouse should leave from neglect in the game. Or it should atleast take 5 real life hours.

 

[TsunamiWombat]

Probably because of the travel time. In the first Fable I kept my wife max happy until I got thrown in jail, then she hated me when I came out and it took like five diamonds to shut her up. I see Fable 2 still has it's shitty time physics.

I'll prolly just skip out on the family thing...

 

[Yassen]

This makes me want to cry. I have Fable 2 sitting on my desk and I can't freaking play the damn thing because my xbox stuffed up. The first time since i got my 360 when it was released and it stuffs up just when the most anticipated games in years shows up.
How. God. Damn. Typical.