Laws you'd make

[tkioz]

So you've been made king/president/whatever of the world and you've crushed all who'd oppose you, now it's time to make laws, but they must be practical laws, no "women must go topless" or "kill all lawyers" laws, but real laws, what would you do?

My top 3 are:

Retractions must be equal to original coverage.
A media law that I thought up after seeing news papers and TV shows slander the hell out of people then print a retraction to a frontpage story on page 28 in a tiny box, or in the last seconds of a news program after the weather when everyone has switched to another station. With this law if a news paper slashes a huge frontpage story filled with lies, they must publish an equal retraction.
Punishment for failure to obey this law: Loss of a the smallest finger remaining on your dominate hand.

Cables must be standard!
If you're using USB for something and it doesn't plug into a standard USB plug they've done something naughty at the factory. I really sick of having a half dozen cables laying around.
Punishment for failure to obey this law: To be hung by the neck by one of their own cables until such time as they are dead or the cable breaks.

You mess it up, you clean it up!
This one comes about after visiting Adelaide a few weeks ago, and spending half an hour trying to find a public restroom that wasn't disgusting so I could have a pee. After 4 bloody disgraces with bodily fluids, paper, trash, and other questionable objects laying around, all in the city centre, I got in the car and drove out to a service station. Seriously WTF is wrong with big city people?
Punishment for failure to obey this law: Forced to clean restrooms for 6 months.

So got any you'd share?

 

[smearyllama]

I'd fix the issues with the sex offender registry.
The way it is now, the guy who gets drunk and urinates in public is on the same level as the serial rapist.

What. The. Fuck.

Edit: I'd make the system work on a case-by-case basis, but you'd only be judged by certified, impartial judges, people who will think rationally, and come up with a fair punishment.

 

[Lilani]

1. Marijuana legalized, made subject to sales tax, and made subject to the same age and public discretion laws that alcohol is subject to.

2. Smoking banned in all public places (I know, I know, hypocritical, somebody call the WHAAAAMBULANCE, and such and so-forth).

3. No Child Left Behind would be immediately abolished (because I do live in America, and I hate this thing with a burning passion of a thousand summer suns).

 

[likalaruku]

Can we make stupid laws?

 

[Bobbity]

I'd outlaw Fox News, and adopts Singapore's laws concerning littering. If I could pass a budget as well, I'd put a significant amount of money towards the research of Nuclear Fusion, and other alternative energies.

 

[L3m0n_L1m3]

2 words.

Casual. Fridays.

[sub] At least I think that's pretty practical. [/sub]

 

[Radeonx]

I'd hire a personal group and make their job solely to slap stupid people across the nation.
If they think you did something stupid, they can slap you.

Also, Bacon is now the new national food, and must be consumed at least once a week. No exceptions.

 

[smearyllama]

I'd hire a personal group and make their job solely to slap stupid people across the nation.
If they think you did something stupid, they can slap you.

Also, Bacon is now the new national food, and must be consumed at least once a week. No exceptions.

What about people with religious and medical issues regarding the consumption of bacon?
You'd be overthrown within the week.

 

[Radeonx]

3. No Child Left Behind would be immediately abolished (because I do live in America, and I hate this thing with a burning passion of a thousand summer suns).

As far as I am aware of (At least this is according to my brother in High School, who lives in Illinois), Illinois, at least, is trying to replace it with something else.
According to him, it would involve taking tests on core subjects every single year, although I have no knowledge on the validity of what he's saying.

 

[Stammer]

My #1 change would be to illegalize slow driving. Period. Or better enforce the lane laws that require you to be in the curb lane if you're a slow-moving vehicle. Honestly it's not difficult to "go with the flow" of traffic. If your entire lane is backed up because you're doing 40km/hr in a 60km/hr zone and there are no hazardous weather conditions then you should be ticketed.
Punishment for failure to obey this law: The same penalties as speeding. Maybe a 10% speed limit leeway, but after that big fines.

Though I still say almost every problem in our entire city could be fixed if they'd just synchronize our controlled intersections. Seriously, I think even gang activity would be down.

 

[smearyllama]

Sorry, double post.

 

[AsianMafiaSin]

Make filibusters unconstitutional. Force both parties to spend time coming up with arguments rather than what poetry they feel like reciting to stall.

 

[Radeonx]

I'd hire a personal group and make their job solely to slap stupid people across the nation.
If they think you did something stupid, they can slap you.

Also, Bacon is now the new national food, and must be consumed at least once a week. No exceptions.

What about people with religious and medical issues regarding the consumption of bacon?
You'd be overthrown within the week.

Then I enforce this law with an iron grip of power and slowly turn into an insane dictator that seeks nothing but upholding the almighty power of the glorious bacon, brutally crushing any opposition to my bacon supporting endeavors.

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

I'd hire a personal group and make their job solely to slap stupid people across the nation.
If they think you did something stupid, they can slap you.

Also, Bacon is now the new national food, and must be consumed at least once a week. No exceptions.

What about people with religious and medical issues regarding the consumption of bacon?
You'd be overthrown within the week.

Then I enforce this law with an iron grip of power and slowly turn into an insane dictator that seeks nothing but upholding the almighty power of the glorious bacon, brutally crushing any opposition to my bacon supporting endeavors.

All hail bacon!

OT: Smoking would be banned in public, the punishment for which is death.

Money would be spent towards developing real pokemon.

PeTA would be outlawed, and anyone involved in any ALF terrorist activites goes to jail for life.

All the facecs on the currency would be replaced with my picture.

 

[Eldarion]

I'd make church and state separation mean something. No more Christians forcing their religious views on the entire country.

 

[-Dragmire-]

legalize common sense. I know it sounds weird but it seems people are fearful of it these days. My cousin is being charged for being hit by a car whose driver had only one eye. It was her right to cross the intersection but because she rode her bike threw it, she was charged.

 

[Zeema]

Kill Humans who fail a Morality Test --Trezu

 

[Lilani]

3. No Child Left Behind would be immediately abolished (because I do live in America, and I hate this thing with a burning passion of a thousand summer suns).

As far as I am aware of (At least this is according to my brother in High School, who lives in Illinois), Illinois, at least, is trying to replace it with something else.
According to him, it would involve taking tests on core subjects every single year, although I have no knowledge on the validity of what he's saying.

Hm, see, I was under the impression that No Child Left Behind was a federal mandate. So if Illinois is trying to undermine that, then they could get into some serious trouble.

I can't say I'd blame them, though. It's ridiculous. NCLB expects 100% of the students to receive passing grades on the exams by 2014. If 100% do not pass, then the schools will be considered inadequate, and can lose accreditation. That is totally and completely batshit insane. You cannot expect 100% of anybody to do anything, nonetheless children.

In some ways, I can't wait for 2014, when just about every single public school in the country will simultaneously lose their accreditations, and tens of millions of deserving teenagers will be without high school diplomas. Maybe then the legislators will see how stupid the whole thing is.

 

[tkioz]

I'd fix the issues with the sex offender registry.
The way it is now, the guy who gets drunk and urinates in public is on the same level as the serial rapist.

What. The. Fuck.

Edit: I'd make the system work on a case-by-case basis, but you'd only be judged by certified, impartial judges, people who will think rationally, and come up with a fair punishment.

I agree completely, I had a friend almost get put on it a year or so back, he's then girlfriends father threw a shit fit about them sleeping together almost 30 years ago, which is about how long they've been married now, and went to the cops. Long story short it came out when he had a background check done on him so he could work at his kids school and he had to fight tooth and nail to stay off a list designed for sexual predators, not stupid horny teenagers 9 months apart in age.

 

[tkioz]

I'd make church and state separation mean something. No more Christians forcing their religious views on the entire country.

To be fair Christians are no where near the worst offenders on that subject