Let's have a GENDER WAR!

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David Bjur

Hazy sucks, Daystar Moreso
Nov 21, 2011
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Davatehi said:
Daystar Clarion said:
We can pee standing up.
Pee on all the women!
[img=http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/18629028.jpg]http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/18629028.jpg[/img]
Yeah, just made it, for erm, proving your point...
 

Meight08

*Insert Funny Title*
Feb 16, 2011
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When men win we´ll chain woman up for breeding and making snacks.
What?
Or they'l chain up men for breeding and fixing shit around the house.
 

Vkmies

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Oct 8, 2009
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Women were created from the rib of a man.

I am an atheist, but that story is just too much fun.
 

Pegghead

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Aug 4, 2009
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RedBird said:
Pegghead said:
I'm sorry, I'll have to be a spectator for this.

Jukeboxes don't have genders you see.
sorry chum, I'm going in.
Smoke me a kipper, i'll be back for breakfast.
(Had to make that reference)
:D You're awesome! And on top of that keep making those awesome threads you keep making.
 

Tsun Tzu

Feuer! Sperrfeuer! Los!
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Jul 19, 2010
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I believe that this sufficiently sums up the subject.

In the wise words of a Mr. Louis C.K. - "A man will like steal your car, or burn your house down, or beat the shit out of you, but a woman will ruin your fucking life."

I, for one, welcome our female overlords.
 

Freechoice

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Dec 6, 2010
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gamezombieghgh said:
To the men who think women would win:

Come on mate...Don't be stupid.

When we're talking about a war, we're talking about some shit that men are evolved to do, women not so much. There are things that women may be able to beat men at, (I can't think of any but there should be something), but war is at the top of the list of stuff that we would dominate in. Dominance is part of being a man.

It's about riding/hunting mastodons or something. The Angry Marines are just a plus.

Phasmal said:
ironically_awesome said:
Men have Chuck Norris...
And Justin Beiber. I think they cancel each other out.

But give peace a chaaance!
Without men, how will I open things I am too lazy to open?
Who will kill the spiders?

We have the spiders in our back pockets. And we will throw them at you.
 

CleverCover

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Nov 17, 2010
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We had a mini gender war in the family. We played Taboo: girls versus boys.

Girls beat the boys 30 to 23.

Then we tried again by playing dirty minds.

Boys beat the girls 15 to 10.

So....I have no idea who would win. Well at least with word games.
 

godofslack

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May 8, 2011
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Women, because every man on the planet could die and humanity would survive, you can't say the same about women. Sperm banks have, in a biological sense, made men redundant, there is enough sperm in sperm banks to completely rebuild the human population.

And they also out number us and are, in general, more highly educated and better in team environments.
 

Marcus Kehoe

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Mar 18, 2011
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If it was a real war it would be many year's.

In fighting men would ultimately win because they are naturally stronger and while woman with training may be an even fight an un-experienced man has advantage over an un-experienced woman on average.

But if it comes to a war that requires replenishment woman win, they only need a few men to impregnate many woman. So if 3 guys get captured that could be potentially hundreds of babies while with men if 3 woman get captured you got 3 babies.
 

Aprilgold

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Apr 1, 2011
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Nobody wins, face it, we need women and men to reproduce. A war usually ends with lesser or no other opponent left, so either all the men get slaughtered or all the women get slaughtered.

Its also a blank slate fight, from what I've seen, woman have equal strength now in days then they did back a long time ago. I'm trying to be objective here, but I don't see a winner where they die slightly after.

What I actually think it would be is a thirty minute gun fight on the street then police tazer everyone shooting and arrest them asses for endangerment themselves and the public.

If there was a real war the best way to seduce chicks would be to wear speedos, then to seduce men would be to wear bikinis. Of course you'd make any captured prisoners of the opposite gender wear speedos and / or bikinis in order to seduce the more attracted to the same sex into the delusional state.[small][small] Of course I wouldn't mind being around a bunch of men in speedos at all.[/small][/small]

THEN THEY ALL FUCKED!
 

Durgiun

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Dec 25, 2008
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Put women together in a single place, eventually their PMS whatevers will line up together and all Hell breaks loose. Whether this would lead to infighting or the nuking of the whole planet, I have no clue.

Guys on the other hand, they would most likely go with the ''ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK'' strategy. So that's not a good thing either.

In a gender war, both sides would end up fucked.
 

Durgiun

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Dec 25, 2008
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Marcus Kehoe said:
If it was a real war it would be many year's.

In fighting men would ultimately win because they are naturally stronger and while woman with training may be an even fight an un-experienced man has advantage over an un-experienced woman on average.

But if it comes to a war that requires replenishment woman win, they only need a few men to impregnate many woman. So if 3 guys get captured that could be potentially hundreds of babies while with men if 3 woman get captured you got 3 babies.
Have you ever heard of cyanide tablets? And remote control bombs? And castration?
 

tthor

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Apr 9, 2008
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D Moness said:
Relish in Chaos said:
Daystar Clarion said:
We can pee standing up.

You can't begin to comprehend just how jealous women are of that amazing ability.
Women can pee standing up; it's just very hard to get it into the actual bowl.
The same problem a lot of men have as well, the inability to aim.

With childbirth i say women win.
kinda this. We men may be generally stronger and faster, but women can create little tiny clones of themselves. So while our troops are dwindling, they will be growing brand new troops, (probably having to resort to using prisoners of war to make children; the happiest god damn prisoners in the history of war. Hell, thats another problem, just think of how many men will desert and surrender just to get in the women's camp? we're doomed!)
 

Naeras

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Mar 1, 2011
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Why is Cosmopolitan encouraging their (female) audience to poison, steal from, physically hurt and emotionally harass partners they for some reason suspect might be hiding something from them? [http://www.cracked.com/article_19066_7-psychotic-pieces-relationship-advice-from-cosmo.html]

WHY CANT MEN DO THIS AS WELL
FUCK THE FEMINISTS
RAGE
 

solemnwar

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Sep 19, 2010
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Naeras said:
Why is Cosmopolitan encouraging their (female) audience to poison, steal from, physically hurt and emotionally harass partners they for some reason suspect might be hiding something from them? [http://www.cracked.com/article_19066_7-psychotic-pieces-relationship-advice-from-cosmo.html]

WHY CANT MEN DO THIS AS WELL
FUCK THE FEMINISTS
RAGE

I'm a woman and this terrifies me ;_;
 

UsefulPlayer 1

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Feb 22, 2008
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I just ran out and punched 4 girls(?) walking around campus in the dark.

If we all could keep our K/Ds this good, the war will be over in no time :D
 

game-lover

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Dec 1, 2010
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Torrasque said:
In all "seriousness" I have seen this fictitious gender war in anime form, and it is called Dragonaut Vandread herp derp.... This anime essentially has the perfect world set up for a gender war, where the men and women live on opposite planets and are at perma-war with each other. Yes, the anime's primary message throughout the anime is how men and women need each other and are much better together than apart, but that is beside the point!
Ha... I know that anime. You should also see this other one called "I My Me, Strawberry Eggs." It's a Shoujo but the premise is this school that's got this horribly sexist woman as the principal who is slowly but surely trying to weed the male students out to make it an all girls school. And this guy has to dress as a female in order to get hired because they really hate men.


But yeah... I love this thread. It amuses me. I wish I could add something. I guess I'll just cheer for the ladies.
 

Naeras

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Mar 1, 2011
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solemnwar said:
Naeras said:
Why is Cosmopolitan encouraging their (female) audience to poison, steal from, physically hurt and emotionally harass partners they for some reason suspect might be hiding something from them? [http://www.cracked.com/article_19066_7-psychotic-pieces-relationship-advice-from-cosmo.html]

WHY CANT MEN DO THIS AS WELL
FUCK THE FEMINISTS
RAGE
I'm a woman and this terrifies me ;_;
What makes that thing article even better is that "if he does (insert something that's almost always harmless here) he's hiding something. Now put poop-powder in his food, steal his TV and fuck his best friend, that'll show him not to act like a human being instead of simply the dumb, easy-to-figure-out cliché Cosmo and rom-coms claim all men are".

Thankfully that stuff doesn't tell us shit about women, it just tells us that Cosmo (and probably a lot of its readers) are shit. It can fuel some misogynist fires in a joke thread like this, however :D
SO, ALL YE MANLY MANS, RISE UP AND COMMIT DOMESTIC ABUSE KTHXBAI

captcha: dust up
..chili dust? :<