Chapter 67: From the journal of Stinthad Kekimtobul
__________________________________________________
22nd Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
I just had a brilliant idea about how to solve our fortress guard problem without Goden killing me! See, there's no rule against who I appoint to be the captain of the guard and when. If I wanted to I could change the guard every day. So it's perfectly legitimate for me to appoint a really weak dwarf as captain guard, have them "punish" me, and then replace them with Goden! She gets reappointed, and I don't have to get my face smashed into a pulp! This couldn't possibly go wrong!
Now let's see, who would be best for this task...
Stinthad: "Hey Silent Thunder! I need your help with something!"
Silent Thunder: "How can I be of service?"
Stinthad: "I'm promoting you to captain of the guard!"
Silent Thunder: "...pardon? I think you have mistaken me for someone else."
Stinthad: "Of course not! You're skills are the ones I need at the moment."
Silent Thunder: "I don't want to question your judgment, but I don't have any skills related to this position."
Stinthad: "Exactly!"
Silent Thunder: "Forgive me, but I don't understand why you want some with no skills."
Stinthad: "Look, you can keep a secret, right?"
Silent Thunder: "If you want me to."
Stinthad: "I'm supposed to receive a beating for some silly little crime that was a complete accident. Now if Goden delivers the beating she'll kill me. But if someone who isn't very strong does it, I'll barely be hurt! So as soon as you're done I'll be able to reappoint Goden without fear."
Silent Thunder: "Oh, I see. An excellent plan. I'm honored you trust me to carry it out."
Stinthad: "Alright then, let's get this over with. Now don't hold back, we need this to look realistic. Just hit me when-"
27th Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
Okay...I guess I underestimated her strength. She knocked me out cold, but that's better than being dead. And I don't think there are any permanent injuries, so I should be fine. Only problem is that I'm not in the hospital. I'm down in the cold, dark crypt. Also, I'm chained to an old rusted post.
What the heck is this for?!? She must have dragged my unconscious body down here and chained me up, but why?!? This is ridiculous!
Goden: "Sorry Stinthad, but you're punishment mandated time in prison as well."
Stinthad: "Huh? Oh, it's you Goden. And what do you mean prison?"
Goden: "You don't remember? This is the prison you had hastily set up. You're actually the first dwarf to be put in it."
Stinthad: "Oh yeah...but, you don't have to beat me do you? I mean, Silent Thunder already did."
Goden: "Yes, thanks to your little trick that part of the punishment has been negated. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do about your 50 day prison sentence."
Stinthad: "50 DAYS?!?!"
Goden: "That's the minimum sentence for attacking an earth golem. You know how important they are to the military, so dwarven law mandates that all attacks against them bee severely punished."
Stinthad: "Great...50 days, how the heck am I supposed too run a fort from down here."
Goden: "Don't worry, I'll make sure to send you updates about the situation above."
Stinthad: "Well...thanks, I guess. But can you do me one favor?"
Goden: "What?"
Stinthad: "It's really cold down here. I want some new gloves. 3 of them."
Goden: "Fine- wait, why 3 gloves?"
Stinthad: "Because what if one of them gets wet? Then I'll have to wear a soggy glove! You should always have a spare one."
Goden: "...right."
She rolled her eyes at me before leaving. What's so dumb about wanting a spare glove?
1st Opal, 1055, Mid-Winter
Ugh, it's so boring down here. I've got absolutely nothing to do. I should probably ask someone to bring me a book or something. I know Goden has a lot of really long ones, though she's awfully protective about them. Though she's seemed pretty happy since she became captain of the guard again, so maybe if I-
Argh, there's that annoying sound again! On top of the boredom there's some obnoxious thing making the most irritating noise I've ever heard. It's this really high-pitched chirping that just never ends. Worst, it seems like it's getting louder! Almost like the thing making it is getting...closer.
I think I'm going to call the military down, just to be safe.
2nd Opal, 1055, Mid-Winter
Don't panic don't panic don't panic oh god what the hell am I going to do?!?! There's a giant monster down here! A giant bird that looks like it came out of my nightmares! It just came out of nowhere, swooped down and grabbed some poor earth golem in its massive talons! Then it tore it
tore the earth golem in half!!!
How can anything tear apart an earth golem so easily?!? It flew away, but I know it will be back. It's going to kill me!! Oh god how the hell do I break this chain SOMEBODY HELP!!!
3rd Opal, 1055, Mid-Winter
It happened again. The giant bird flew in, grabbed a cat, and tore it's head open. The whole thing happened in less than 5 seconds. It's going to come back for me any moment now. Why the fuck did I build a prison down here?!? Why the fuck won't anyone let me out??! THERE'S A GIANT BIRD AND IT'S GOING TO EAT ME, SOMEBODY UNCHAIN ME!!
3rd Opal, 1055, Mid-Winter
The military is here. They say they can protect me from the bird. I'd feel a whole lot better if they'd just unchain me, but nobody wants to get in trouble with Goden. So that thing is going to see me for sure. But maybe if I bury myself under mud, then the bird can't see me! Or maybe I'll just make myself look like a worm...oh god, I just realized there are probably tons of worms under the mud.
This is going to be horrible.
7th Opal, 1055, Mid-Winter
So despite how much I didn't want to do it, I buried myself under the mud in hopes that it would keep the bird from noticing me. Ir was disgusting. Tons of little worms were crawling all over me and I just wanted to scream. After what seemed like an eternity, I heard Root shout that everything was fine and I could stop cowering in the dirt.
I was confused by this, as I hadn't heard a battle. It's kind of hard to explain exactly what happened, but here's what I can gather from Root's report.
The beast had somehow flown into a deep road and made its way to the surface. Luckily Root noticed this and began to chase it. However, for some reason it decided to sit near the empty barracks rather than terrorize civilians on the surface. This allowed the military to catch up to it before it could cause any harm.
Unfortunately, the military was disorganized due to the hectic nature of the situation. This resulted in TolyK having to engage the bird all by herself.
This went about as well as one might expect. But her sacrifice was not in vain, as she managed to hold off the beast long enough for her comrades to arrive, thus preventing it from chasing any civilians. Seeking revenge, the soldiers swarmed the beast. Fortunately, many of them are now equipped with steel weapons.
These weapons proved to be quite effective. The bird was reduced to a pincushion has the spears pierced its body. After about 5 minutes of constant stabbing, a killing blow was finally delivered.
[img ]http://img696.imageshack.us/img696/713/battle5.png[/img]
It is a shame that TolyK was killed, but at least the damage dealt by the beast was minimal in all other respects. My only concern is that during the battle, it apparently spewed some kind of foul smelling gas. The soldiers had no way of avoiding this gas and as a result pretty much the entire military breathed it in. There don't appear to be any immediate negative effects, but Moldath has taught me that these forgotten beasts often carry deadly diseases. I'm worried that the entire military may be infected. If it does cause problems we may not be able to help them depending on the nature of the disease...maybe Rowan can develop a cure if he examines the corpse? Or at least what's left of it.
But maybe I'm overreacting. I'm sure they'll be just fine!
__________________________________________________
