Let's Play Dwarf Fortress: Syndrome Conundrum
- Thread starter Internet Kraken
- Start date
The drowning corridor planned during the siege seems like a worthwhile safety measure, although the hippo fortress defense is definately more hilarious. It's reliability could be improved if you locked the leverpuller in a small room with the lever whenever it needs to be operated quickly.
Chapter 65: From the journal of Stinthad Kekimtobul
__________________________________________________
22nd Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
Oh...so the goblins are back already. Uh, I'm not sure what to do here. The military is under equipped and, with all due respect to Commander Root, horribly incompetent. So I can't see sending them out to fight working out well for us. What to do...what to do...try and drown the goblins in the moat? Seems like our only option. I just hope it works out better than last time. Now I just need to find a dwarf (not Wolfe) who can operate the lever.
22nd Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
Okay, so one the dwarves has been locked inside the control room and instructed to pull the lever whenever I give the signal. It's risky relying entirely on our drawbridge to defeat invaders, but what other choice do I have at the moment?
Unfortunately, the goblins seem to favor chasing the civilians stuck outside rather than cross the bridge. There's nothing I can do to help them either...oh god, why aren't the forge masters working faster? Our military needs steel equipment to stand a chance but production isn't nearly as efficient as it could be.
Speaking of the military, one of the insane soldiers walked out of the base into the goblin squad. This was to be expected though, since she was probably going to kill herself anyways. She hadn't had anything to eat or drink in days, and was always looking down at the tumbling waves of the ocean. There really wasn't anything we could do to help her.
23rd Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
I don't know why, but the goblin commander decided to advance across the bridge without any support. Now I know the military of Reveredtour kind of sucks, but I think they could take out a lone goblin through sheer numbers alone. Fortunately I didn't have to test this theory since the lever was promptly pulled, plunging the commander into the moat.
She's currently flailing around trying to swim, but it's hard to do so in a full set of armor. All her desperate movements have managed to accomplish is grab the attention of the guard animals.
So that's one goblin down and an entire squad left to go. I'd say things were looking good, but they really aren't. Especially when the civilians outside are having trouble escaping from the goblins. Poor MrShowerHead just couldn't run fast enough...
24th Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
Another goblin made the poor decision of attempting to cross the bridge alone. Apparently he didn't realize the fate that had befell his commander, so he charged ahead blindly. Unaware of the fact that the ground he stood on would soon be pulled out from below.
He plunged into the moat, and I expect he won't live much longer since Ebekem the alligator is already swimming towards him.
Not sure what to do now though. Sure we've disposed of two goblins without using the military, but one of the goblins watched his comrade fall into the moat. He is no doubt aware of our plan and will act accordingly, so this probably isn't going to work again.
25th Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
Huh, guess I spoke to soon. Never underestimate the tendency for a goblin's blood lust to override their common sense. I've ordered the lever pulled, so he should be disposed of soon enough.
Wait, what? You didn't pull the lever? YOU DIDN'T PULL THE LEVER!?? Oh god, uh, I guess I need to get the military up here. They can handle one goblin, right?
25th Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
Good, from what I can tell the invading goblin was put down without incident. One of the well-equipped soldiers managed to push through the crowd and decapitate the goblin. We really need to get some weapons and armor produced, but the forge masters aren't making them for some reason! Commander Root put in an order for steel spears to be produced several weeks ago, but nobody has gotten around to doing it yet. It's pretty frustrating.
26th Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
So we have another goblin that managed to cross the bridge. This time the lever operator isn't to blame though, since I told him not to drop the bridge. The reason for this was because there was a dwarf on the bridge. Volstag9 to be exact. See, Volstag9 had the brilliant idea of ignoring lockdown orders and instead decided to walk onto the bridge and taunt a goblin. What he didn't expect was the goblin to charge across the bridge after him. I couldn't in good conscience order the lever pulled with a dwarf standing on the bridge, even if he was being stupid. As a result, Volstag9 has let a goblin into Reveredtour.
The military managed to dispose of one goblin. They can get rid of another, right?
27th Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
Apparently not. Though they did kill the axeman, MrArgent was killed in the process. Now we're down another soldier because Volstag9 just had to taunt the goblins.
Wait, I just figured out the perfect way to replace MrArgent!
Some might misinterpret this as a punishment. However, we need another soldier, and Volstag9 is an unskilled mason. The fact that he is technically responsible for MrArgent's death is just a coincidence. Really, I'd never draft people into the military as a punishment.
1st Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
Well it's winter, and unfortunately our situation still isn't looking good. Sure we've succeeded in taking out many of the goblins, but some still remain and are causing havoc. One is camped out under the fort, apparently having figure out how much chaos he can cause just by standing there. The other two are chasing civilians across the wastes. I'm not sure how to deal with them, as I don't want to send out the military yet. I'll wait a bit longer to see if anything changes before making our next move.
3rd Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
The stress from the lockdown and all the death is starting to affect some of the dwarves. I hate to say it, but I think fights might start breaking out soon. Just today one of the diggers become fed up after hearing some rude comments from a caravan guard and tried to pick a fight with him.
He did so by throwing a chunk of forgotten beast fat at him.
Yeah I don't get it. Fortunately nothing happened as a result of this, mostly because I think the guard was confused by the actions of the digger more than anything. If anything does happen though, we won't have a captain of the guard to deal with it...but reappointing Goden would mean receiving a deadly beating. I just can't have that.
As for the goblins, sadly they've finished cutting down all the civilians that were trapped outside.
There was one more dwarf out there but apparently she managed to get back into the fort before being caught. I'm not sure what the goblins will do now. If they want to attack us they'll have to cross the bridge, and by now they are definitely aware of the danger involved. But at the moment they seem to be content chasing that liaison around. Oh if only he had come into the fort when he had a chance. What the heck was he thinking?
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
22nd Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
Oh...so the goblins are back already. Uh, I'm not sure what to do here. The military is under equipped and, with all due respect to Commander Root, horribly incompetent. So I can't see sending them out to fight working out well for us. What to do...what to do...try and drown the goblins in the moat? Seems like our only option. I just hope it works out better than last time. Now I just need to find a dwarf (not Wolfe) who can operate the lever.
22nd Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
Okay, so one the dwarves has been locked inside the control room and instructed to pull the lever whenever I give the signal. It's risky relying entirely on our drawbridge to defeat invaders, but what other choice do I have at the moment?
Unfortunately, the goblins seem to favor chasing the civilians stuck outside rather than cross the bridge. There's nothing I can do to help them either...oh god, why aren't the forge masters working faster? Our military needs steel equipment to stand a chance but production isn't nearly as efficient as it could be.
Speaking of the military, one of the insane soldiers walked out of the base into the goblin squad. This was to be expected though, since she was probably going to kill herself anyways. She hadn't had anything to eat or drink in days, and was always looking down at the tumbling waves of the ocean. There really wasn't anything we could do to help her.
23rd Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
I don't know why, but the goblin commander decided to advance across the bridge without any support. Now I know the military of Reveredtour kind of sucks, but I think they could take out a lone goblin through sheer numbers alone. Fortunately I didn't have to test this theory since the lever was promptly pulled, plunging the commander into the moat.
She's currently flailing around trying to swim, but it's hard to do so in a full set of armor. All her desperate movements have managed to accomplish is grab the attention of the guard animals.
So that's one goblin down and an entire squad left to go. I'd say things were looking good, but they really aren't. Especially when the civilians outside are having trouble escaping from the goblins. Poor MrShowerHead just couldn't run fast enough...
24th Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
Another goblin made the poor decision of attempting to cross the bridge alone. Apparently he didn't realize the fate that had befell his commander, so he charged ahead blindly. Unaware of the fact that the ground he stood on would soon be pulled out from below.
He plunged into the moat, and I expect he won't live much longer since Ebekem the alligator is already swimming towards him.
Not sure what to do now though. Sure we've disposed of two goblins without using the military, but one of the goblins watched his comrade fall into the moat. He is no doubt aware of our plan and will act accordingly, so this probably isn't going to work again.
25th Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
Huh, guess I spoke to soon. Never underestimate the tendency for a goblin's blood lust to override their common sense. I've ordered the lever pulled, so he should be disposed of soon enough.
Wait, what? You didn't pull the lever? YOU DIDN'T PULL THE LEVER!?? Oh god, uh, I guess I need to get the military up here. They can handle one goblin, right?
25th Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
Good, from what I can tell the invading goblin was put down without incident. One of the well-equipped soldiers managed to push through the crowd and decapitate the goblin. We really need to get some weapons and armor produced, but the forge masters aren't making them for some reason! Commander Root put in an order for steel spears to be produced several weeks ago, but nobody has gotten around to doing it yet. It's pretty frustrating.
26th Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
So we have another goblin that managed to cross the bridge. This time the lever operator isn't to blame though, since I told him not to drop the bridge. The reason for this was because there was a dwarf on the bridge. Volstag9 to be exact. See, Volstag9 had the brilliant idea of ignoring lockdown orders and instead decided to walk onto the bridge and taunt a goblin. What he didn't expect was the goblin to charge across the bridge after him. I couldn't in good conscience order the lever pulled with a dwarf standing on the bridge, even if he was being stupid. As a result, Volstag9 has let a goblin into Reveredtour.
The military managed to dispose of one goblin. They can get rid of another, right?
27th Timber, 1055, Late Autumn
Apparently not. Though they did kill the axeman, MrArgent was killed in the process. Now we're down another soldier because Volstag9 just had to taunt the goblins.
Wait, I just figured out the perfect way to replace MrArgent!
Some might misinterpret this as a punishment. However, we need another soldier, and Volstag9 is an unskilled mason. The fact that he is technically responsible for MrArgent's death is just a coincidence. Really, I'd never draft people into the military as a punishment.
1st Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
Well it's winter, and unfortunately our situation still isn't looking good. Sure we've succeeded in taking out many of the goblins, but some still remain and are causing havoc. One is camped out under the fort, apparently having figure out how much chaos he can cause just by standing there. The other two are chasing civilians across the wastes. I'm not sure how to deal with them, as I don't want to send out the military yet. I'll wait a bit longer to see if anything changes before making our next move.
3rd Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
The stress from the lockdown and all the death is starting to affect some of the dwarves. I hate to say it, but I think fights might start breaking out soon. Just today one of the diggers become fed up after hearing some rude comments from a caravan guard and tried to pick a fight with him.
He did so by throwing a chunk of forgotten beast fat at him.
Yeah I don't get it. Fortunately nothing happened as a result of this, mostly because I think the guard was confused by the actions of the digger more than anything. If anything does happen though, we won't have a captain of the guard to deal with it...but reappointing Goden would mean receiving a deadly beating. I just can't have that.
As for the goblins, sadly they've finished cutting down all the civilians that were trapped outside.
There was one more dwarf out there but apparently she managed to get back into the fort before being caught. I'm not sure what the goblins will do now. If they want to attack us they'll have to cross the bridge, and by now they are definitely aware of the danger involved. But at the moment they seem to be content chasing that liaison around. Oh if only he had come into the fort when he had a chance. What the heck was he thinking?
__________________________________________________
![Fr]anc[is](https://eg-forums-escapist-data.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/data/avatars/l/93/93202.jpg?1620797781){kind=avatar}
I want to get in on the fat throwing and miscellaneous shenanigans. I'll probably just spontaneously combust but I don't care
We sent them on a fortnights training course to be witty but they only managed a week before the Goblin's attacked, SAH!
There's a Name level Alligator? Jeez....
Still manage to get the groin shot in though, good good.
Suggest using some spears for training sir. Thoughts of a Danger Room?
All an animal needs to do to get an name in 31.18 is kill a sentient being, from what I've seen. What would be impressive is if the alligator had a full title.The_root_of_all_evil said:
A shame there is that wall upon either side of the bridge, else you could build a chamber above it to drop water upon incoming entities to flood them off the bridge and into the moat... or a creature drop. Not sure the flooding effect would work too well however, may be more trouble than it is worth at the moment. Alas depending on a single lever-pull for that length of bridge doesn't seem to be faring very well. Really a pity some dwarf decided to walk out onto the bridge during this whole affair.
I would recommend something like this:
Apparently some kind of gatehouse is needed, with a door upon either side, so you can better lock your dwarves inside (when needed) so they can't wander out to the bridge. IMO if you want to drop things to their death from the bridge, it needs to have its length extended. One way to do that, without expanding the size of the moat, is to twist the bridge itself from a straight line across to a pattern that forces entrants to walk suspended over the moat for a greater period of time.
I would recommend something like this:
Apparently some kind of gatehouse is needed, with a door upon either side, so you can better lock your dwarves inside (when needed) so they can't wander out to the bridge. IMO if you want to drop things to their death from the bridge, it needs to have its length extended. One way to do that, without expanding the size of the moat, is to twist the bridge itself from a straight line across to a pattern that forces entrants to walk suspended over the moat for a greater period of time.
Burrows are being used. I can't imagine playing without them. It's just that dwarves, being dwarves, will sometimes ignore them for whatever reason and do something incredibly stupid.Double A said:
Chapter 66: From the journal of Stinthad Kekimtobul
__________________________________________________
5th Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
Yeah, no surprise there unfortunately. I don't get why he didn't just come into the fort. There's nothing we can do now though. I wonder what the goblins next move will be. There's nothing left for them to kill outside, and unless I lower the bridge again they can't get back in. Even if I did though I can't imagine them ordering a charge with only 3 soldiers left. Hopefully they'll just retreat.
8th Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
Oh what a happy day! Wolfe gave birth to an adorable little baby boy!
Isn't he just lovely? I hope he lives a happy and fulfilling life here in Reveredtour. Unlike the other children...speaking of which Goden has been spending a lot of time with SamuelT and Woots lately. I never figured her to be good with children, but she says it's important that she teach them certain things. Since both of them lost their parents (excluding SamuelT's drunken father) to tragedy, it's good that Goden is teaching them. Otherwise they wouldn't have anyone to learn from!
9th Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
Though the goblins still patrol the wastes surrounding Reveredtour, the threat they post to the fort is greatly diminished. Therefore I have shifted my attention away from them towards other matters. The merchants had been ready to trade for quite some time, so I figured I should address them first.
Despite our recent hardships it seems we still have a great deal of respect! Actually he could have just been saying that to garner my favor, but that just seems so shady. I'm sure he wouldn't lie like that. Anyways, I bought all the booze from the caravan to solve our current alcohol shortage. Unfortunately, they didn't bring as much as I had hoped for. So I also bought a large amount of plump helmets to be brewed locally. The merchants had brought along several pieces of steel equipment, which I also purchased to help bolster our militaries strength. The forge masters are still lagging behind on their production quota, and there isn't much I can do about at the moment but seek to acquire equipment from other sources when possible.
The price for all these goods was rather high, but with the large number of crafts that have been produced it was still easily met. I even gave them a large profit because I felt like being generous! I'd say the trading went well!
10th Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
Oh dear, it seems that another fight broke out. This time it was between a wood carpenter and a farmer. Luckily the scuffle didn't result in any injuries, but it still represents a serious problem; with no law enforcement, some of the dwarves feel that they can do whatever they please without fear of repercussion. I want to give Goden the authority to prevent this, but I'm sure the second I reassigned her she would beat me to a pulp. There has to be a way around this...
14th Moonstone. 1055, Early Winter
Another dwarf couldn't handle the stress brought on by our circumstances and has been reduced to a weeping mess. There really isn't anything you can do about this, so sadly we have no choice but to simply watch the dwarf crawl around weeping for the next few days before they either starve or commit suicide. Such a sad sight to watch...though at least this time it wasn't an innocent child. I should probably try and keep this dwarf from coming into the sight of the traders. They don't need to see...this.
18th Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
The merchants are leaving now. Hopefully the goblins won't give them any trouble on the way out, but I'm sure their caravan guards could handle them. Their guards have nice steel equipment, which makes them very hard to kill. If only our military had nice steel equipment. Sadly, no matter how many other tasks I restrict, the forge masters refuse to make anything. It's like they think the crafting shop is haunted or something. Oh god, maybe it is haunted? I never thought about that! I should build another one just to be safe!
19th Moonstone. 1005, Early Winter
Okay, I guess my comment about the workshop being haunted was hasty...and kind of stupid. One of the forge masters finally decided to make those steel spears. Commander Root was quite pleased to finally have a decent weapon, though she then made a comment about having to choose between a shield and a spear. I asked why she couldn't simply use both, when I found out that she's missing an arm!
I don't know how she lost one of her arms, but now she's just like Commander Cowabunga. I probably would've noticed earlier if it weren't for her...unique method of protection. See, since we lack armor at the moment she has decided to improvise, and is using blood as armor. Several thick layers of coagulated blood and other splatters of grime and filth.
Yeah...I don't get how this works but I'm not going to question her judgment. She is the commander after all and if she says covering herself in a dozen layers of blood helps then I guess it must...somehow.
__________________________________________________
Root actually has several dozen more pages of blood coverings than what I listed. It's pretty ridiculous, and I'm not sure how she managed to get covered in so much filth.
__________________________________________________
5th Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
Yeah, no surprise there unfortunately. I don't get why he didn't just come into the fort. There's nothing we can do now though. I wonder what the goblins next move will be. There's nothing left for them to kill outside, and unless I lower the bridge again they can't get back in. Even if I did though I can't imagine them ordering a charge with only 3 soldiers left. Hopefully they'll just retreat.
8th Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
Oh what a happy day! Wolfe gave birth to an adorable little baby boy!
Isn't he just lovely? I hope he lives a happy and fulfilling life here in Reveredtour. Unlike the other children...speaking of which Goden has been spending a lot of time with SamuelT and Woots lately. I never figured her to be good with children, but she says it's important that she teach them certain things. Since both of them lost their parents (excluding SamuelT's drunken father) to tragedy, it's good that Goden is teaching them. Otherwise they wouldn't have anyone to learn from!
9th Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
Though the goblins still patrol the wastes surrounding Reveredtour, the threat they post to the fort is greatly diminished. Therefore I have shifted my attention away from them towards other matters. The merchants had been ready to trade for quite some time, so I figured I should address them first.
Despite our recent hardships it seems we still have a great deal of respect! Actually he could have just been saying that to garner my favor, but that just seems so shady. I'm sure he wouldn't lie like that. Anyways, I bought all the booze from the caravan to solve our current alcohol shortage. Unfortunately, they didn't bring as much as I had hoped for. So I also bought a large amount of plump helmets to be brewed locally. The merchants had brought along several pieces of steel equipment, which I also purchased to help bolster our militaries strength. The forge masters are still lagging behind on their production quota, and there isn't much I can do about at the moment but seek to acquire equipment from other sources when possible.
The price for all these goods was rather high, but with the large number of crafts that have been produced it was still easily met. I even gave them a large profit because I felt like being generous! I'd say the trading went well!
10th Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
Oh dear, it seems that another fight broke out. This time it was between a wood carpenter and a farmer. Luckily the scuffle didn't result in any injuries, but it still represents a serious problem; with no law enforcement, some of the dwarves feel that they can do whatever they please without fear of repercussion. I want to give Goden the authority to prevent this, but I'm sure the second I reassigned her she would beat me to a pulp. There has to be a way around this...
14th Moonstone. 1055, Early Winter
Another dwarf couldn't handle the stress brought on by our circumstances and has been reduced to a weeping mess. There really isn't anything you can do about this, so sadly we have no choice but to simply watch the dwarf crawl around weeping for the next few days before they either starve or commit suicide. Such a sad sight to watch...though at least this time it wasn't an innocent child. I should probably try and keep this dwarf from coming into the sight of the traders. They don't need to see...this.
18th Moonstone, 1055, Early Winter
The merchants are leaving now. Hopefully the goblins won't give them any trouble on the way out, but I'm sure their caravan guards could handle them. Their guards have nice steel equipment, which makes them very hard to kill. If only our military had nice steel equipment. Sadly, no matter how many other tasks I restrict, the forge masters refuse to make anything. It's like they think the crafting shop is haunted or something. Oh god, maybe it is haunted? I never thought about that! I should build another one just to be safe!
19th Moonstone. 1005, Early Winter
Okay, I guess my comment about the workshop being haunted was hasty...and kind of stupid. One of the forge masters finally decided to make those steel spears. Commander Root was quite pleased to finally have a decent weapon, though she then made a comment about having to choose between a shield and a spear. I asked why she couldn't simply use both, when I found out that she's missing an arm!
I don't know how she lost one of her arms, but now she's just like Commander Cowabunga. I probably would've noticed earlier if it weren't for her...unique method of protection. See, since we lack armor at the moment she has decided to improvise, and is using blood as armor. Several thick layers of coagulated blood and other splatters of grime and filth.
Yeah...I don't get how this works but I'm not going to question her judgment. She is the commander after all and if she says covering herself in a dozen layers of blood helps then I guess it must...somehow.
__________________________________________________
Root actually has several dozen more pages of blood coverings than what I listed. It's pretty ridiculous, and I'm not sure how she managed to get covered in so much filth.
The blood seems to come from nearly every kill that the fort has ever had, so I think there may be a puddle of all these contaminants lying somewhere along the way to the training room that managed to wash out when someone was exiting it. Either that, or Root has been playing around that well where everyone washes themselves enough to get all the filth on her yet has not ever had enough time to wash herself off.
How awesome is that! It's like we're some super special awesome supersoldier team! And we both still live! Root, we're awesome.Internet Kraken said:
Also, Goden teaching those kids things? That can only mean one thing; when they grow up, do not under any circumstances make them sherrif or any other important position involving dishing out corporal punishment. She must be like some Mr. Miyagi from Hell.