LGBT issues in the western world.

[Combustion Kevin]

I live in the north of the netherlands, we don't really care if someone's gay.
Calling someone gay or a homo usually is meant as "wimpy" or stuck up (or betraying a sort of masculine value, like drinking 0% beer), but actual slurs against actual gay people are out of the question, because as soon as you start bashing gays specifically, noone's your friend.

 

[CymbaIine]

Do you have any equivalent to stop and frisk, or so-called "breathing while brown" laws? I'm serious, because I've never heard of anything going that far. And even in New York/Vermont/Massachusetts, liberal Yankee states with no direct access to the border, we still have a lot of fear about dem mexican imigints. And other brown people.

Our stop and search laws are disproportionately targeted at specific ethnic minorities. Years ago they were better governed and had to be documented (it was well known that the police in some areas would outright refuse to give you the documentation). The anti-terrorism laws after the September the 11th attacks changed the rules and made the powers much broader. This was followed by a massive rise in searches of young black and Asian men, and those figures are JUST the ones which were documented.

I heard they are dropping again now, at least officially.

http://www.theguardian.com/law/2010/jun/17/stop-and-search-police

http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2012/jun/12/police-stop-and-search-black-people

 

[LarsInCharge]

I feel that masses more needs to be done to combat transphobia (not a massive fan of that word but it'll have to do). They are the minority within the minority. On TV nowadays you never see an overt joke about homosexuality where the butt of the joke isn't a homophobe. The same isn't true for transgendered people. In the UK you have to go through a long and I imagine humiliating (if for no other reason that you are forced to do it) to get your mental illness diagnosis and change your sex on public records. Just the fact that it's a mental illness piles one stigma on top of another (I'll stop now before I go off on my "Arbitrary distinction between mental and physical illness rant).

Wait, you seriously have to get diagnosed for a mental illness before you can get a sex change in the UK? REALLY?! Wow, that's fucked up. That would never fly in the US (I don't think). Not because we're any less bigoted, but because we put A LOT of stock in personal autonomy. Life liberty, etc. etc.

Unless you want to have an abortion. As they say "We care about children until the very moment they're born. Then they're on their own."

Shhhhhhhh! No, stop it! Keep abortion out of this! *Plugs ears* LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!

I will obey because of your avatar.

"We have always been at war with Eurasia"...

 

[CymbaIine]

Wait, you seriously have to get diagnosed for a mental illness before you can get a sex change in the UK? REALLY?! Wow, that's fucked up. That would never fly in the US (I don't think). Not because we're any less bigoted, but because we put A LOT of stock in personal autonomy. Life liberty, etc. etc.

I believe it's quite a long process too, I think you need a couple of pyschs to agree.

 

[Vault101]

when I was in year 8 and 9....so around 13 or 14 we had a teacher, and it was known she was a lesbian

and children being the awful little monsters they are were absolutely obsessed with that aspect, I think it was both homophobia and the need for some "drama" in out terribly borning lives, I wasn't awful myself but not great eather, I think it was that that gave me a little internalised homophobia, the sad thing is me and that teacher had a lot in common (or at least I developed similar tastes later)

In highscool I went to Catholic school. I [I/]know[/I] what that sounds like but it wasn't as bad as that, we aren't like America so the religious aspect did not run so deep, it wasn;t outight homophobia...just a more mainstream *giggle* gays are weeeird mentality, not to mention how kids are at that age

the hilarious part is (I was at a boarding school) at the time Home and Away a terrible Aussie soap opera tried in its spectacualy terrible way to have a lesbian couple....and we all sat and watched it...why? not because we like home and away....but because I think there was a morbid fascination

I also did work exerpeince at a cat haven and if stereotypes are to be belived there might have been a disproportionate amount of lesbians there

now that I'm an adult I haven't seen much outright homophobia, we don't allow gay marrage yet but at least in mainstream circles saying you hate gays isn't....cool, that depends entirely in which circles you run of coarse

that said apparently my sisters inlaws and respective partners are quite homophobic

I live in Argentina.

-Same-sex marriage is legal.
-Same-sex adoption is legal.
-Same-sex relationships (cohabitation) receive legal recognition.
-Transgender persons can change their legal gender and name without surgeries or judicial permission.

What's your excuse, first-worlders?

that would be jesus

I feel that masses more needs to be done to combat transphobia (not a massive fan of that word but it'll have to do). ).

yeah, at least by now the mainstream can at least understand gay people (you know....within reason)

transgenders? people have a hard time wrapping their head around the concept, theres a lot I didn't (and probably don't) understand about it

At the other end of the scale, my Nan was born in the 1920's... in Belfast. As such, she was of the opinion that homosexuality was wrong, and I think she would have struggled to even comprehend the idea a transgender person. I never agreed with her on that point, but I also never held it against her for two reasons:
.)

interestingly go back around...25-30 years (the late 1800's or so) and I think their ideas on the relationships between woman were slightly different, you could have a very close female friend whom you might even act like a couple...I'm not sure if the sexual aspect was accepted, but thease were seen as rather innocuous for a time

 

[Haunted Serenity]

Where I live you get just as much indifference as pro. Usually it is just people who don't understand. I try not to bring it up but when asked I tell the truth about myself and usually I get questions politely asked. Some people really don't like the marriage issues about it which I never understand. It is just a paper that says you love each other.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I live in Argentina.

-Same-sex marriage is legal.
-Same-sex adoption is legal.
-Same-sex relationships (cohabitation) receive legal recognition.
-Transgender persons can change their legal gender and name without surgeries or judicial permission.

What's your excuse, first-worlders?

that would be jesus

I dunno, the Federal Government supports the apostolic Roman Catholic religion. It can't be Jesus, although of course the church has opposed any and every kind of progress when it comes to LGBT rights.

 

[bat32391]

I live in Texas take a guess how it is.

 

[Fappy]

-Snip-

Now that you mention it, I think I've actually been exposed to this info before. My girlfriend is getting her MPH right now, and I think she may have explained this to me before.

Not much to say beyond, "that sucks"

 

[cathou]

well, i was kicked out of the house, just after my mom told be she should have got an abortion instead of having me as her daugther, because a lesbian. but i must admit it was almost 20 years ago. thing have changed since then, people talk more about it. it's not perfect, and i often still heard jokes about gays that are just mean. But also, lesbians have it a little more easy on some points. I can donate blood for exemple. and since beating up a girl is not really an acceptable thing anyway, i must admit there probably a little less violence done to lesbian than gay...

 

[thundra]

well, i was kicked out of the house, just after my mom told be she should have got an abortion instead of having me as her daugther, because a lesbian. but i must admit it was almost 20 years ago. thing have changed since then, people talk more about it. it's not perfect, and i often still heard jokes about gays that are just mean. But also, lesbians have it a little more easy on some points. I can donate blood for exemple. and since beating up a girl is not really an acceptable thing anyway, i must admit there probably a little less violence done to lesbian than gay...

Holy fuck that's tough. I hope you are okay. This is exactly why so many gays and lesbians stay silent and god forbid if you are trans thats even tougher. Homophobia and transphobia makes me really wanna barf

 

[Skatologist]

Californian here and even we aren't perfect. People like my dad got in a hissy fit when Prop 8 was overturned, although I think he implied he voted "no" on the prop.He was rather upset that majority rule was overturned by the government although things were much more complex than that. I tried my best to reason with him that you shouldn't trust the majority to vote on the rights of the minority because they can/will usually disappoint you and it should instead be something more decided by legislature and justices, but he never really listened. My analogy was allowing the fine people of Mississippi voting on his interracial marriage during the 1960s and how he would feel about that, but he never really acknowledged that argument. He's still brings it up like it's a travesty of democracy.

As far as I know, there isn't too much wrong with us although I think there might be an issue with blood donation, but other than that, just mild homophobia. I'm still weary of the days we'll have to educate the public on trans issues more and I see that bigotry be more open and upfront.

I've been harassed and frisked by the police for associating with a gay teenager[footnote]Very explicitly threatened him with an ACLU lawsuit, said something along the lines of "We won't see a penny, but every cent you make in the next twenty years will be taken away from you and you'll be pumping gas instead of bossing people around with your shiny metal trinket." My friend never got bothered again.[/footnote], I've been discriminated against and stoned for being perceived as being a gay male, and then there's the one that takes the cake - I was abducted, tortured, sexually assaulted, and nearly murdered for being trans. Oh, and my mother basically disowned me too, because I'm not exactly okay with hanging out with her racist gay basher husband who beats her, and she can't possibly wrap her head around why that may be.

I guess you could say I've been around the block.

That being said, my experiences are indicative of everyones. I don't really know anybody under thirty who has been the victim of a gay bashing or a trans bashing. General attitudes in the US still suck though. Less than half of the states have sexual orientation protections, and less than a quarter of states actually have gender identity protections. Then there's stupid shit, like how I can't donate blood or marrow, can't join the military[footnote]even though the Pentagon has come out and reported that there's no reason to ban trans people, and that integration would be remarkably easy[/footnote], I can't even go to a local gym or participate in any local intermural sports teams - and I live in New Jersey - the third bluest state in the union. Then there's the fact that no matter how well qualified I might be, I'd never hold any sort of elected office at the federal level - at least not for a decade or two.

This really did make me cry. I'd imagine any amount of abuse I get would only pale in comparison to what you described about yourself and I admire you for being so open. All I can hope to do is make sure situations like yours aren't possible and you get the rights you deserve within my lifetime.

 

[rosac]

Another sort of development, Paddy Power (one of the large betting companies in the UK) has set up a "rainbow laces" campaign to get rid of homophobia in football. They've recently sent a box of them, and a rather inflammatory letter to the westborough baptist church:

http://www.theladbible.com/articles/this-could-be-the-best-part-of-the-rainbow-laces-campaign

also, Arsenal football clubs anti homphobia video:

Spoiler

[youtube]/watch?v=hXtuMm88lgI[/youtube]

G'warn Oxlade Chamberlain!

 

[tangoprime]

I live in Texas take a guess how it is.

Way to propagate a negative stereotype.
I guess it depends where you are in Texas.

I live in Houston. We're the largest city in history to have an openly gay mayor, who has been in office for nearly a decade. There's a huge, thriving, open gay community in both Houston and Dallas. I really hate the Texas deep-south racist/homophobe/puritan stereotype, which in my experience is very untrue. Even the suburb where I live, near NASA's JSC, is extremely multi-ethnic and I never see anything close to how people not from here seem to think we act.

 

[happyninja42]

I live in Alabama, and it's a mixed bag here. I'm straight, but I've always had gay/lesbian friends, and would occasionally go with them to the local gay clubs. It never really bothered me, it was just like any other club, just with lots of same-sex flirting.

I was however, dubbed a "******" by a kid in highschool, for no reason I can fathom other than he randomly selected me to bully, and it stuck for years. He and his friends openly mocking me for no reason other than him deciding to mock me for being gay. Which always baffled/amused me since I wasn't. Personally I think he was just jealous that I had lots of female friends, and would sit with them at lunch, something that baffled all my male friends who didn't understand how I pulled it off.

As to the core question, there are several people here who are openly anti-gay, and where I work, I will sometimes hear customers talking about "The Bible says Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!" and other such stupid shit. But they are the minority, the openly anti-gay group. Of course I have no idea how many are quietly anti-gay, as they are obviously being quiet about it, but I don't see much in the way of blatant anti-gay sentiment here.

My circle of friends over the years has almost always included a gay friend/coworker/roleplaying buddy, and it's never been an issue with us. I'll ask him genuine questions about his sexuality, and other things simply to have a discussion about it, and the topic is perfectly comfortable. We'll tease each other, and jokingly flirt around the gaming table, if something comes up that could be given a humorous gay slant or riff. But for the most part, it's just a regular part of things.

Now, that being said, I don't see many openly gay people around here. So if I had to guess there is some level of "keep on the down low" vibe, just to be safe, but I don't know, that's just my observation.

I think it mostly depends on the group of people you're talking about, no matter where you live.

 

[Jesterscup]

But in any major city that I've lived in for a prolonged period (York, Nottingham), there is very little visible stigma. When I worked alongside 3 or 4 lesbian promoting, the worst they got was "Dyke" shouted at them for refusing to go back with someone, and when my gay friends came out it's normally a bit weird for a couple of days, then we say fuck it, lets have a coming out party (then we all have a beer or 10).

So I'm a Drag Queen, for me it's performance art. Going into the whole "where on the trans spectrum am I" stick would take far too long. But basically by day I'm hum-drum male me, and certain evenings I'm Mistress Sinestra ( yeah really, look it's performance art ).

So the thing is here, it's rather in your face, Sinestra's outfits are intended to be Fabulous, amazing, and yes sometimes a little shocking. I perform ( and go drinking/clubbing after) in the city centre of Edinburgh, Scotland ( UK ), usually right in the bustling 'pink triangle'. Most people are amazing, it's great fun and they get into the spirit. That being said the following is a list of events that I can expect to happen to me every single time.

1. attempted groping of me by a woman - incredibly common, by far the majority of events
2. attempted groping of me by a male
3. verbal abuse from a male - actually more often than not by gay men
4. threats of violence by a male

Seriously every single one, at least once every time I'm out. Every single time!


To the point where I follow various rules : I'm never alone, I know the venue and it's staff, and I behave with impeccable manners.

Am I used to it? yeah
Is it right? no
but it's not enough to put me off doing it

You'll note I'm not talking about my family in this, yes I could do, but at this time I choose not to.

 

[Anja Bech]

I live in Denmark, an even though I've never met much prejudice, I'm still scared to come out to my family. Not because they would shun me, but because it's abnormal enough that they would probably feel really weird about it. I think the hardest letter to identify with in the LGBT in Denmark is the T. People just don't understand someone being trans*, and you know what they say about what you don't understand...

You can't really tell I'm a rainbow person (save for my picture which is from Copenhagen pride last year), so I don't really experience much harassment, but I've met a bunch of people who just. didn't. get. it. And them not getting it gets the hostile. The only discrimination I've experienced was some girl from a tiny town in western Jutland didn't wanna sit next to me in case I hit on her (she wasn't even my type), and one lesbian girl got this really disgusted look on her face when I told her I was bi.

Also, lesbians tend to think that bisexual girls are really straight and will end up leaving them for a man. Which is lovely. /sarcasm

There seems to be this idea that your sexuality has to be defined by a man; if you're a bisexual girl, you're straight, and if you're a bisexual man, you're really gay. Which of course is ridiculous. -_-

TL;DR
Denmark is a pretty okay place to have a different sexuality, but a fairly shitty place if you are a different gender than cis.

 

[Jesterscup]

TL;DR
Denmark is a pretty okay place to have a different sexuality, but a fairly shitty place if you are a different gender than cis.

Do you think that it perhaps because being homosexual is not something thats ( always/clearly) visible, whereas being trans is much more visible?

Note thats not a statement but a question.

Sexuality is kinda something that confuses me, and probably I'm going to receive a lot of flak for this, but there does seems to be gay ( sexuality ) and gay ( culture ), and these are not the same thing, sure there may be an overlap, but not everyone who is gay is 'scene' and I'm sure not everyone who is 'scene' is gay. For my own part I'm attracted to humans... thats about as far as I can narrow it, 'bi' doesn't even come close. ow does Bisexual cover a pre-op FtM having a relationship with a Drag-Queen?

 

[grassgremlin]

Edit - I live in northwest Ohio

I managed to be very lucky when I came out as it wasn't as big an impact as I was worried it would be.
My brother and my best friend sense high school accepted me no matter what and he's been okay with the topic brought up.

My dad has been okay, but not sure he understands gay culture very well and can say some insensitive stuff. Usually because he doesn't know about specific things. For one he doesn't understand why queer people want to get married.
I can probably list down the things that have happened.

- My youngest sister who is highly christian, while she still loves me, thinks that if I had religion I could be changed to straight. That's not happening, but that's her thought process. I love her though and she hasn't said anything to me truly bigoted. My assumption is that she's still trying to struggle with it and still be devoted to her religion. I'm atheist by the way, so that opens a lot of can of worms on that side anyways.

So far our relationship has just been that I'll say hi, hug her and that's about it. I never brought up sexuality or religion to her because I don't want to feel like I'm pushing a agenda on her.

- My grandmother disowned me because she's a Jehovah's witness. I never talk to her outside of helping move furniture and usually she seems in denial about the whole thing.

- I haven't been in contact with my real father and his side of the family but, from what I assume they think I'm some sort of deviant or black sheep. Not sure, but I honestly just don't care at this point.

- My second youngest sister acts like she never heard me come out. Complete denial. She makes me watch her kids and I'm required to not be "too gay" around her kids.

- Yeah, the babysitting and kids is usually where things get mucky. I usually have to put on a mask.

- I don't have my own place yet and live under my grandmother's roof and a crowded house. My boyfriend comes over once a month and we have to be very discrete about how we interact, so if anything that's likely still very debilitating. I've also been referred to as gross when it comes to our relationship because we are both guys. It's a bit of a double standard sense my brother and his girlfriend are near constantly smooching and in each other's arms.

My short comings with my sexuality mostly have to do with where I live. I still feel like I haven't really came out sense most people are in denial sans my brother and my friend (He lives with us too. He's paid rent so he's been part of the family.) The rest range from religious issues or just complete and utter denial.

I'm not a very feminine person, I'm in the middle, but sense I've live here I've had to kind of increase my masculinity to not "squick" people out. I try to be courtesy because I don't want to push an agenda on anyone or my niece and nephews. Though it's tough. Because they mimic their parents I hear the kids say some homophobic or transphobic stuff, not about me, but that's just their up bringing, they're kids. I refer to my boyfriend as "my friend" most of the time.

I probably wouldn't have these issues if I had my own place. Also to add, I'm also black so you can some up the kind of culture I tend to be surrounded by.