Life lessons you've learned from a video game.

[USSR]

Everything always happens to slip slowly to the left...

 

[acer840]

No matter how many times it breaks down, no matter how many bullets it takes, my car can be repaired by tightening the same nut in the engine. Every time.

 

[Necrophagist]

If you're about to die, eat some baked beans. ALL BETTER.

 

[Bulletmagnet125]

scientists working for a underground facility is only as good as his suit

 

[Simriel]

That no one can stop the cole-train

 

[theSovietConnection]

1. Guns are the stars
2. Every bullet is your baby
3. Bigger guns, louder explosions
4. Leave a trail of destruction
5. Get creative with your kills

 

[olicon]

I learn to listen to the Announcer when I do something awesome.

But seriously, I think the most important thing I picked up from playing games is that you should always contemplate your own demise, and be ready to go out with a bang. When push comes to shove and shit hits the fan, I'm usually the man with the backup plan.

 

[shaggydog]

red potions heal life
blue potions give me magic
bullets are only deadly when u don't have potions bandaides or medics

 

[DoW Lowen]

GTA - If you kill that hooker, you can get your money back

 

[LeeHarveyO]

If you get lag in RL you are screwed!

If you eat live baby chicks you become evil.

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

Heavily-armed and armored soldiers will be found to have only one full magazine of ammunition on their person once killed... if you're lucky. You may find only five rounds. Also, you probably can't take their armor, radio or other handy gear.

People who live comfortable lives in secure cities will eventually wander off and die in some agonizing and ultimately hilarious fashion.

Someone will forget that they have multiple fractures, lacerations, bullet wounds or arrows sticking in them if you just hide long enough.

A standoff with police, military personnel, armed militia, etc. will be solved by one side getting impatient and storming single-file into a firing line.

 

[Vinculi]

All barrels are required by intergalactic conventions to be explosive.

Also:

YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.

 

[deletemeplease107]

Bullets have the potential and will most likely kill people.

Never trust dead aliens...

 

[mark_n_b]

Eating mushrooms you find in boxes laying around is good makes you big and gives you extra work.

 

[AnotherFineMess]

The sexy voice inside my head is in fact a demon, and I will eventually become her.

"Experience has taught me that wishful thinking only leads to disappointment." - By the Prince of Persia.

If I modify my genes I can shoot bees!!

 

[ROFLross]

Don't drink and take drugs, or you'll die - Fahrenheit(Indigo Prophecy).

I got him killed, I thought he wanted a nice drink.

 

[Abedeus]

If you see an old, wooden door at the end of the hallway, it's more than sure something will attack you or smash through the aforementioned door.


Also, if the situation is critical and you are about to get shot/killed by the enemy/die in other way, someone will help. Your brother, your boss, your friend, your dog... So don't worry, relax and take your time.

Oh, oh, I know.

Radiation makes things go really strong, high and moist, really fast. Instead of killing on contact.

 

[MagnetoHydroDynamics]

Combine any oil and any egg in an unknown way, while singing, to get a cake.

 

[Durgiun]

Only the sociopaths survive.

 

[ThePlasmatizer]

Call of Duty 4 and 5 on veteran taught me patience.