Lol, Skyrim.

[justnotcricket]

The time I was stealthing my way effortlessly through the terrain...and walked straight up the butt of a very irritated sabertooth...seriously, I never saw it there. Granted, it didn't see me either until I crashed into it, but I was both amused and embarrassed for my character, since it was directly ahead of me...

 

[])rStrangelove]

Left a village with my campagnion and froze in place when i saw the skeleton of the last dragon i killed standing in the distance. I thought "ok here we go again", but when approaching it it just collapsed on the ground - i guess the physx were kinda playing games with me.

Thank god. Undead dragon skeletons are the worst!

 

[Shadowkire]

Doing a particular quest (I forgot which), I had to go into a dungeon to get something. The dungeon came to a large arena with quite a few skeletons in it. I thought to myself "okay, I'll just sneak around and murk them all." I stealthed in a couple of feet and a few more summoned in.

It's only a few more, I can still sn-

*rumbling*

wha-

*undead skeleton dragon raises up from the ground and heads straight to me with every skeleton in the room pulling out their bows*

Oh...

I lived because skeletons are pushovers, but that threw me off.

Mage's quest line, in Labyrinthean.

My funny moment was after I helped the Stormcloaks kill general Tullius. Ulfric and I went out and he started giving a victory speech to the troops. Unbeknownst to the Jarl of Windhelm I had always planned on killing him after the Empire was defeated because I don't like ambitious racists with power. So as he is giving his speech I move behind him, pull out my Deadric Greatsword with fire and lightning enchants on it, and hit him in the back full force. He dropped to one knee and continued his speech, nobody in the audience reacted, so I hit him again, and again, and again.

So Ulfric delivered his speech with the hero of his entire campaign wailing on his back with a big-ass blade and nobody cared, least of all Ulfric himself.

 

[Capt. Crankypants]

Fighting a mighty dragon in Riverwood, he landed just beyond the small wooden bridge, on the far bank. I readied by glass bow and took aim as he breathed a mighty gale of frost. T'was at this most critical of moments, as I chose to loose my arrow, when a most retarded peasant did run full of eagerness past me, braving the dragon's chilling frost-breath, only to cop an arrow square in the back of the head, his limp body then flopping off the side of the bridge, and carried away by the mighty river. The frost obscured everything. No-one could ever have known. T'was the perfect crime. =P

/Guilty conscience.

 

[srm79]

I was walking the 7000 steps up the mountain and I saved my progress after reaching the snowy area about half-way up. I'd already spent a lot of healing potion on the wolves, but otherwise was doing fine. But turns out there's a troll blocking the middle of the road around the corner. We fight, I try to kill him, he sends my corpse flying down the mountain. Second time I put up a valiant fight...and he kills me again. 3rd time, the troll was gone so I figured I was safe to go...and then as I'm walking down the path, he pops out from behind a rock and kills me.

I HATE that fucking troll. I took 3 attempts at it, and got killed every time. On the fourth, a dragon swooped down out of nowhere and just KILLED IT WITH FIRE!! Then it flew away without even looking in my direction.

Also, I saw a cow hovering about 20ft in the air just outside Whiterun once.

 

[srm79]

I just remembered, when I was in one of the dungeons - I think it might have been the first College quest - shield bashing a Draugr, who went flying back into a metal gate. "O-ho!" thinks I, "this metal chain wot I'm standing right next to must open that - might as well get it opened while I'm stood here"

*Yank*

*Clatter*

*Crunch* as the Draugr is dragged up by the opening gate and is left swinging lifelessly from the top of the opening. It had only gone and got its sword stuck in the gate as I pulled the chain. I lol'd hard.

CAPTCHA: can esideola. Well? Can it? I think we should be told...

 

[Nami nom noms]

I just managed to hack a dragon to death in mid-air after a long fight atop rooftops. It flew below me and I pounced after it, killing it with one last sword stroke as we fell in a crumpled heap upon a cliff-side.

But you can't attack while falling in Skyrim. It isn't possible.

Well I don't know what to say, but when it happened I may have either just touched some rocks behind the dragon, or the dragon itself, it did look kinda scrappy when I actually hit the dragon, but the before and after where awesome

Didn't know you couldn't attack in the air or i wouldn't have jumped!

 

[Googenstien]

I started to just wander the country early on, think I was level 3-5, and I find some ruins with Ghosts yelling at me to leave. I kill them as I climb the ruins and I am close to leveling so I keep climbing and climbing and find a few skeletons, the last one I kill started to roll back down the mountain and I am chasing trying to loot the damn thing and as I am doing this a freaking dragon flies over me and its breath nearly 1 shots me (second dragon ive seen and first one solo)

I heal up and and heal as I try to get the damn thing to land so I can hack at it, finally after what seems like 5 minutes I get up again to flatish land and have a pretty epic fight now with a dragon and beat him.. I am psyched and see a small cave and say "ohh dont think dragons can gank me in there!" and I go in only to get ubersmashed by a troll.

Couldnt kill that troll no matter what I did so I left and came back much later and crushed its skull finally.

 

[Zeema]

SNIP
Anyone else for funny moments?

HOW DARE YOU KILL A CHICKEN. THE CHICKEN KING IS UNAMUSED

anyway i Sneak attacked a dragon and it stayed on this high up ledge so i got to watch a Dragon Bobsled down a mountain side using his own body.

took me awhile to get my Glass Arrows back 2

 

[Ekonk]

I was walking down the road when I noticed a couple of guys drinking and singing songs. I thought "hey, that looks like a good time" and approached. Before I could reach them, however, a horse came hurtling out of the cloudless sky and landed right between them, bouncing off and ragdolling like crazy into the distance.

Suffice it to say that I wasn't able to play on for a while after that.

 

[Altar]

Well I was walking along when a dragon fell out of the sky and crashed into the ground in front of me... Easiest and most amusing dragon soul I ever got.

 

[DaJoW]

Nothing too great has happened to me so far, though I did run in to a child kiting a spider from who-knows-where. On my way to Ivarstead, ran past a mill I figured I'd discover, and on my way through a little girl comes running with an angry spider chasing her. First time I've even seen a spider out in the open.

There's also a scripted conversation during the main quest where they used the same voice actor for both parts. I assume that's what they've done, or it's one guard talking to himself while another guard listens.

There was also the time I did a Dark Brotherhood quest - I killed the target and remained unseen, but then someone sent to "help" runs up and talks to me, and suddenly I have an angry mob chasing me. The guy sent to help me just wandered off. I didn't even get the bonus for the job, even though I did it the way they wanted me to

 

[DasDestroyer]

I was sneaking around in some dungeon, bow drawn and at the ready. I walk into a room, aim at the in the middle npc, but don't shoot as it looks like it may be peaceful. I walk up closer, dialogue auto-starts, character releases the arrow, dialogue auto-ends.

 

[michiehoward]

Ok so I was investigating the odd shit in Markarth, ( like why some girl get shanked the moment I step into the City)

First when I go into some dudes office, someone mentions offhand that I'm naked. My elven armor had disappeared. I talk to the dude anyway, finish the cnversation and then a huge brawl breaks out behind me. Which I didn't start. WTF, of course no fucking armor still.

I run out of said office. Luckily checking my inventory I had a second suit. Then a monk type fellow who is with those Daedra Hunters catches me and asks me to help him look in this abandoned house to find Daedra activity. Well I got into the house, and the whole place seems to act like a Obliv Gate, everything goes red and black and the whole world starts violently shaking. And then I can't find the key to the basement room. Ok fuck this, leave house F/T to Whiterun, but the whole world is black and red and shaking, reload to save outside of Markarth and do not enter that city. I HATE THAT CITY

 

[Genibus]

Ok so I was investigating the odd shit in Markarth, ( like why some girl get shanked the moment I step into the City)

First when I go into some dudes office, someone mentions offhand that I'm naked. My elven armor had disappeared. I talk to the dude anyway, finish the cnversation and then a huge brawl breaks out behind me. Which I didn't start. WTF, of course no fucking armor still.

I run out of said office. Luckily checking my inventory I had a second suit. Then a monk type fellow who is with those Daedra Hunters catches me and asks me to help him look in this abandoned house to find Daedra activity. Well I got into the house, and the whole place seems to act like a Obliv Gate, everything goes red and black and the whole world starts violently shaking. And then I can't find the key to the basement room. Ok fuck this, leave house F/T to Whiterun, but the whole world is black and red and shaking, reload to save outside of Markarth and do not enter that city. I HATE THAT CITY

It's a known bug, in the ever growing list.

 

[michiehoward]

It's a known bug, in the ever growing list.

Really, even console version?

So mental note not to attempt to enter that House again.

 

[Genibus]

It's a known bug, in the ever growing list.

Really, even console version?

So mental note not to attempt to enter that House again.

Yes, I have had it on the console before, that's why I keep my master save like most people probably have, especially since it just came out and has not had extensive patching/bug squashing.

 

[Genibus]

I posted this in another thread. I'll try to keep the spoilers off as much as possible.

Mission on a ship next to Solitude. Had bounty with Solitude, though it shouldn't have affected the mission. Decide to go all stealthy and not raise the alarm.
So I come upon a door that's locked and there's no other way to proceed. I pick the lock, open the door, then...

YOU HAVE COMMITED CRIMES AGAINST SKYRIM AND HER PEOPLE

One lone guard from Solitude was behind the door. I didn't understand why it was there. I hit tab to exit the conversation thinking of quickloading. The guard ignores me and goes berserk on THE ENTIRE SHIP.
Huge brawl breaks out, sailors against guard. Sailors finish off the guard and turn towards me.
I quickload. Make sure I'm in stealth mode, cast Muffle and Invisibility so I don't get seen. Open the locked door, back up, get invisible again, attempt to proceed...

YOU HAVE COMMITED CRIMES AGAINST SKYRIM AND HER PEOPLE

Okay, this is bullshit. I'm invisible and inaudible. What, did you SMELL me?

Quickload again. Use Aura Whisper to see the guard through the wall.

He's... standing there. Camping the door. Not doing anything else. Just waiting. For me.
I back up a bit against the side of the door so I'm not in full view of him when I open-

YOU HAVE COMMITED CRIMES AGAINST SKYRIM AND HER PEOPLE

He talks to me THROUGH THE WALL. And yes, I still had Muffle on me.

That guard.

It's because guards can spawn on you when loading into a different zone when you have a bounty in a hold. Just pay it off or do time.

 

[michiehoward]

It's a known bug, in the ever growing list.

Really, even console version?

So mental note not to attempt to enter that House again.

Yes, I have had it on the console before, that's why I keep my master save like most people probably have, especially since it just came out and has not had extensive patching/bug
squashing.

Thanks dude, won't attempt that house again for a week or two.

 

[Woodsey]

Chickens actually count as townsfolk, like if you were to kill someone and the chicken saw it'd be a witness.

That was a bug during QA (which they removed, thankfully).

OT: I was almost in tears the first time I 'fought' a Horker. Three fat fucking seals belly-flopping towards me, with some of the game's most heroic music playing in the background.