long distance relationships are they worth it?
- Thread starter coldfire86
- Start date
I'm currently in a long distance relationship and it's working just fine.
What's important in a long distance relationship, more than talking and more than seeing each other, is having a plan for the future. My boyfriend and I plan to move in with each other in two years at the latest, if not sooner.
If you have no definite plans ahead of you to end the distance, the whole relationship is going to seem bleak, pointless, and neither of you are going to feel very certain or very satisfied about committing to it. No one wants to dedicate their life to a person their never going to actually get to hold or spend time with, unless perhaps it's an open relationship and both partners are allowed to see other people to fulfill their needs.
Another important aspect is the level of dedication. I think it's been working well for my boyfriend and I because we were sweethearts out of highschool and we're still doing that whole naive "first true love" idyllic crap. The point is that it needs to be a dedicated relationship - if it wasn't very serious before long distance, it's probably not going to suddenly become serious after.
Finally, I think people downplay the lack of sexual interaction a lot in discussions like this because ideologically our society is all about not being shallow and not focusing on sex when assessing a relationship... but that doesn't change the fact that sex is a huge and necessary part of the human experience and it is something you're going to be lacking in a long distance relationship. At the very least you should probably visit a sex shop and invest in some toys for personal use, 'cause you're in for a hell of a dry spell and it's dangerous to go alone.
Final Pro-tip - Don't let it get boring just because you're apart. In the last couple months I've surprised my boyfriend with in-game gifts, art of his favourite game/tv characters, and a care package full of stuff he likes like coffee, comic books, DVDs etc (that all sounded very nerdy.. oh well, it's the Escapist). Point is, there are things you can do to remind someone that just because you can't see them, doesn't mean you're not thinking of them.
What's important in a long distance relationship, more than talking and more than seeing each other, is having a plan for the future. My boyfriend and I plan to move in with each other in two years at the latest, if not sooner.
If you have no definite plans ahead of you to end the distance, the whole relationship is going to seem bleak, pointless, and neither of you are going to feel very certain or very satisfied about committing to it. No one wants to dedicate their life to a person their never going to actually get to hold or spend time with, unless perhaps it's an open relationship and both partners are allowed to see other people to fulfill their needs.
Another important aspect is the level of dedication. I think it's been working well for my boyfriend and I because we were sweethearts out of highschool and we're still doing that whole naive "first true love" idyllic crap. The point is that it needs to be a dedicated relationship - if it wasn't very serious before long distance, it's probably not going to suddenly become serious after.
Finally, I think people downplay the lack of sexual interaction a lot in discussions like this because ideologically our society is all about not being shallow and not focusing on sex when assessing a relationship... but that doesn't change the fact that sex is a huge and necessary part of the human experience and it is something you're going to be lacking in a long distance relationship. At the very least you should probably visit a sex shop and invest in some toys for personal use, 'cause you're in for a hell of a dry spell and it's dangerous to go alone.
Final Pro-tip - Don't let it get boring just because you're apart. In the last couple months I've surprised my boyfriend with in-game gifts, art of his favourite game/tv characters, and a care package full of stuff he likes like coffee, comic books, DVDs etc (that all sounded very nerdy.. oh well, it's the Escapist). Point is, there are things you can do to remind someone that just because you can't see them, doesn't mean you're not thinking of them.
Ehhh, I guess it depends on the person, but I'd generally just say no. You don't get that same connection with seeing a person irl and their personality might be different from online to real life. It's just risky altogether.