Love, why can't you find it?

[Azurian]

1. Never had any chicks that liked me.

2. Not really a good looking guy

3. Painfully shy

4. Plays things close to the vest.

5. Just a strange guy all around.

 

[Dr Snakeman]

1. bullshit. ive been trying to get rid of my shyness all my life and no stratedgy works. its a mental disease that cannot be cured

Spoiler: I know this video has been done to death on this site, but I think its use is warranted in this situation.

Please. That is the saddest excuse I've seen in a long time. You can change virtually anything about yourself (short of, like... Down's syndrome, or permanent paralysis, or something along those lines) provided you want it bad enough.

If you want to want to quit being shy, then just man up and quit being shy. It's tough, but doable.


Oh, and calling it a mental disease (besides being incredibly wrong) is probably a bit insulting to people who actually have mental illnesses. Just throwing that out there.

 

[Captain_Fantastic]

because i live in a small isolated town around an hour and a half drive to anywhere else and i have reached the point where you have gone through all the girls with any mutual attraction(nobody), and you're left with people who you're either incompatible with, or who you've known for so long that its just not going to happen

and i refuse to do distance after my first girlfriend moved away and the relationship ended in horrible failure

 

[Xman490]

Cause I'm 20, not in college, and don't have many friends. In summary, I don't know people, and I don't know how to meet people :/

It's about the same for me, except I'm in college (I didn't notice the "not" there). Whenever I talk to somebody, I don't know what to say. Talking about classes is just so generic.

 

[commodore96]

Too many esoteric references, and I'm an asshole

 

[ItsAChiaotzu]

I'm not hot, I don't go to clubs and I don't wear miniskirts. I'm also really really shy.

Also you have one eye. God if your name is actually true now I'm gonna be the biggest dick in the entire world. So if that is true I don't mean that at all and I'm sure you'll find love with a great partner.

OT: I am in love. Hooray.

 

[liquidsolid]

I used to be in love, but I messed it all up and now I've been alone ever since. Boo hoo sob sob aside, I'm looking for that special someone. Aren't we all looking for that special someone?

 

[Something Amyss]

I'm a loser. Pretty much all that needs to be said on why I can't find love.

 

[ramboondiea]

the crushing depression in this thread has made me sad

anywho on topic: i cant find love because i havent, thats the best i can do, but i dont think im missing anything, i have good friends and find my self dating plenty but i am pretty sure i have commitment issues but i am happy nonetheless(except when i read all the depressing replies here)

 

[NotSoLoneWanderer]

Well there's a girl I like but I'm shy...

 

[Jessta]

lack of;self confidence, understanding of the female mind, beauty, any talents for which to attempt to woo someone(I'm average at everything I do, I'm never first or last at anything I do, EVER)
I'm also not exactly physically attractive (ten pounds over weight, pale white pasty skin with terrible acne problems as well as lack luster straw like hair that really wants to become bowl cut or a mullet.
I also don't have any features that really make me me, I'm incredibly normal which leaves me a bit estranged.
I also have no idea how you would go about asking someone if they want to be your lover, it just sounds unnatural and off to me, the entire idea of it. I've had a couple of girl friends before but we eased into that relationship and it kinda happened accidentally, both times were completely chance encounters of people I met we kicked it off and eventually circumstance led to romance which led to lust which lead to love.
oh I also lack decent social skills as I have trouble thinking of how to put words together properly to convey what I want while I'm stressed out they come out all jumbled and fucked up.
So basically I'm a little bit unattractive both socially and physically while simultaneously I have no attractive features.

 

[Death God]

Because I don't party hard enough and I've been told I'm too kind. Yep. Not enough party and too much kindness apparently.

 

[Kizi]

I think I'm just very unattractive. I consider myself funny, okay-looking and a decent person overall, but people I don't know very well tend to avoid me so I may be fairly wrong about myself. I'm pretty socially-awkward and I don't like people touching me but nothing unusual about that, I think.

I've had my share of times where I'm with a friend, when someone we both are only a little bit acquainted with walks by and only greets my friend and not me. People also seem to avoid sitting next to me. No, I don't smell bad.
Also, I sometimes like being alone, listening to music in privacy. Does that make me a psychopath? I sometimes feel like people think so.

I'm just waiting for the right girl, I guess.

 

[MysticToast]

because after two relationships that have ended disastourously (excuse spelling) i just don't see the point in breaking my back over some girl that doesn't really like me that much.

i know this because IT HAS HAPPENED TWICE. from now on, i'm gonna let love come to me. and should that ever happen, i will eat my shoes, because i'm too different from anyone else to have any more than a short list of similarities with the the same gender, let alone the oppisite.

it'll happen when it happens.

You're 16 for fucks sake. You probably don't even know what actual love is yet. Typical Teenager ''Oh woe is me, I am so different, nobody understands me.''

that's not what i'm saying. what i AM saying is i have to many disconnections from the average person to find many friends, let alone love.

and FYI, people do understand me. mostly.

and yes, i do know what love is and i am very much aware what it feels and looks like.

please don't escalate this into an argument.

Why ofcourse you do, how could I question the vast Knowledge of Love that a 16 year old has?

So, how long did these ''Relationships'' last? 2 maybe 3 Days, or were they perhaps even weeks? I mean, you must have a huge amount of experience being at the ripe old age of 16. Especially since you are so different, because you know, everyone else is average, but you, nah, you're something else altogether.

You sound really bitter. Yes, the vast majority of teenagers don't actually know what love is and have never experienced it, but there is a small amount who have.

I've had one relationship in my life, that was when I was around 15. It was great and lasted for almost a year. Then one day she dumped me out of the blue. I sincerely believe I loved her (and still do). So don't be so quick to judge next time. It's rare for someone that young to experience love, but it happens.

XD So and how old are you now?

No, I'm not bitter lol, I just find it funny how many people in this Thread are passing out reasons that have precisely jack shit to do with love. And yes, I find it hilarious when a 16 year old thinks he's made suffcient bad experiences to be able to say that love has to come to him now xD

You can't experience love at that age unless you and your partner are under very special circumstances. You might get the feeling of being IN LOVE. But being IN LOVE and knowing what true Love is are very, very different things.

If you must know, I'm 18 now. And if you would have read my post, you would understand that I said most teenagers don't even experience that feeling. I personally believe it's possible to be in love at that age, if not very rare.

snip

Not to undermine that insanely long thing you typed there, but love doesn't always come from being together a really long time or enduring hardships. Those things can happen between two people who are already in love. Yeah, I wasn't even with that girl for a year, and yes I was younger, but I felt more strongly about her than I've ever felt about anything or anyone. That feeling never changed, even as I grew older a little and matured a bit. I wasn't going to call you an asshole but the fact that you think it's absolutely impossible for someone who is 16 to be in love, or that you think you can know exactly how I felt about that girl, is ridiculous.

 

[devotedsniper]

5 reasons that it all...


1. The only person who ever truly got me crushed me into tiny pieces when she drunkenly cheated on me
2. I still love said girl
3. The only person i've had feelings for since the other girl is already taken (also by now i'm well and truly in the friend zone, 4 years we've been friends, 2 of those years we lived together so yeh...)
4. I'm somewhat anti-social (well i say this but really, i like to keep myself to myself i don't like going out to clubs, and bars like my friends, i'd rather read or watch a movie, play a video game, etc. and i guess in general i'm just shy)
5. it's kind of hard to find girls to talk to when your university is very well known for it's IT, computing sciences, computer engineering courses....guess what kind of people go to those courses, yes geeks (granted im 1 myself), but it's more or less a sausage fest it's sumat like for every 90 guys theres about 10 girls (if even that, most classes have 4 girls at maximum, none is common)

 

[MysticToast]

because after two relationships that have ended disastourously (excuse spelling) i just don't see the point in breaking my back over some girl that doesn't really like me that much.

i know this because IT HAS HAPPENED TWICE. from now on, i'm gonna let love come to me. and should that ever happen, i will eat my shoes, because i'm too different from anyone else to have any more than a short list of similarities with the the same gender, let alone the oppisite.

it'll happen when it happens.

You're 16 for fucks sake. You probably don't even know what actual love is yet. Typical Teenager ''Oh woe is me, I am so different, nobody understands me.''

that's not what i'm saying. what i AM saying is i have to many disconnections from the average person to find many friends, let alone love.

and FYI, people do understand me. mostly.

and yes, i do know what love is and i am very much aware what it feels and looks like.

please don't escalate this into an argument.

Why ofcourse you do, how could I question the vast Knowledge of Love that a 16 year old has?

So, how long did these ''Relationships'' last? 2 maybe 3 Days, or were they perhaps even weeks? I mean, you must have a huge amount of experience being at the ripe old age of 16. Especially since you are so different, because you know, everyone else is average, but you, nah, you're something else altogether.

You sound really bitter. Yes, the vast majority of teenagers don't actually know what love is and have never experienced it, but there is a small amount who have.

I've had one relationship in my life, that was when I was around 15. It was great and lasted for almost a year. Then one day she dumped me out of the blue. I sincerely believe I loved her (and still do). So don't be so quick to judge next time. It's rare for someone that young to experience love, but it happens.

XD So and how old are you now?

No, I'm not bitter lol, I just find it funny how many people in this Thread are passing out reasons that have precisely jack shit to do with love. And yes, I find it hilarious when a 16 year old thinks he's made suffcient bad experiences to be able to say that love has to come to him now xD

You can't experience love at that age unless you and your partner are under very special circumstances. You might get the feeling of being IN LOVE. But being IN LOVE and knowing what true Love is are very, very different things.

If you must know, I'm 18 now. And if you would have read my post, you would understand that I said most teenagers don't even experience that feeling. I personally believe it's possible to be in love at that age, if not very rare.

snip

Not to undermine that insanely long thing you typed there, but love doesn't always come from being together a really long time or enduring hardships. Those things can happen between two people who are already in love. Yeah, I wasn't even with that girl for a year, and yes I was younger, but I felt more strongly about her than I've ever felt about anything or anyone. That feeling never changed, even as I grew older a little and matured a bit. I wasn't going to call you an asshole but the fact that you think it's absolutely impossible for someone who is 16 to be in love, or that you think you can know exactly how I felt about that girl, is ridiculous.

You continue to miss the point. There is a difference between being in love and actual love. They are not the same thing. I also didn't say it is impossible, simply highly improbable and yes, actually knowing someone, the good and the bad, having experienced things with them is a base requirement for real love. And really, what are you arguing with here? That one Relationship you had when you were 15. Seriously, do you think you matured substantially in that timeframe at that age? I seriously and wholeheartedly doubt that. Ofcourse you aren't going to agree, you are taking this as a attack afterall, but realize, you have nothing to compare it with, it is litterally all you know, how can you have even the slightest clue if what you experienced was love? How can you actually say to me with a straight face that what I say is false when you don't even know if what you experienced really was true love? You can't, it really is that simple.

I didn't say I matured substantially since I was 15. Don't put words in my mouth. And you, yourself said it was not impossible, only highly improbable. So why are you finding it so difficult to believe I loved this girl (and still do. You seem to be conveniently ignoring that). Secondly, I'm not saying straight up that what you say is false. I'm saying that you don't always have to go through experiences with the other person to be in love with them.

EDIT: Correction on that last sentence. It makes it seem like I'm saying you don't need to ever be with someone to love them. I meant it more like you don't have to have gone through trauma or large amounts of pain with someone to love them.

Also, I'd like you to clarify something you said. "There is a difference between being in love and actual love". Those two sound exactly the same to me. Maybe you're referring to one believing one's in love? I don't know.