Mad Scientists Craft Atomic Laser

[RJ 17]

I wonder if it takes as long to charge as the Kamehame Wave. *drum rimshot*

But seriously, if you cut yourself while reading this topic, you may have noticed that your blood is pure gasoline. That's supposed to happen. We've been pointing an invisible laser at you that's supposed to turn your blood into gasoline, so that just means it's working. *drum rimshot*

But seriously, seriously. Cave Johnson was 100% correct when he said "Science isn't about why, it's about why not! WHY is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much?!"

I mean come on, we built a frickin' laser more powerful than any other one on the planet just so we can shoot stuff so we can see what would happen to said stuff if it was hurled into the sun (at least that's my understanding based on the article). To the question of "Why are we doing this?" The answer, as the late, great Mr. Johnson would likely say: "Why the hell not?"

 

[Random Argument Man]

ATOMIC LASERS YAY! To study the sun? Awwwwww....

 

[dubious_wolf]

Here come the FUTURE!
(better late than never)

 

[Captain Pancake]

How long till a 'tash twiddling megalomaniac captures it with an army of hired goons and holds the eastern seaboard hostage?

 

[ssgt splatter]

I'm stuck on the phrase "solid plasma" right now. Does that sound like lightsaber technology to anyone else besides me?

 

[ssgt splatter]

ATOMIC LASERS YAY! To study the sun? Awwwwww....

HA! I love this^^ XD

 

[Marmooset]

Remember those aliens who showed up in '47 because we had developed atomic weaponry?
The ones that said they'd be really pissed if they have to turn their ships around and come back here?
Well, their TomTom just went off.

 

[deathninja]

Well in Star Wars I believe they use Blasters, which are a particle projection technology which is a bit differant than focused light. /quote]

De Broglie would like a word with you...

/pedant

 

[Johnson McGee]

one step closer to fusion power

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

That sounds awesome but how does this help me in my campaign to rule the galaxy?

 

[thiosk]

Well in Star Wars I believe they use Blasters, which are a particle projection technology which is a bit differant than focused light.

Seriously? You're *that* guy? Thanks for murdering my joke.

Awww, don't let it bother you vansau. I'm sure someone out there still thinks your special!

I do thank you for getting definition of mad scientist correct. Taking over the world with an astonishingly high powered coherent beam of x-rays is what mad engineers do. Mad scientists want to study a mad hypothesis: like whats happening INSIDE OF STARS (queue maniacal laughter).

in response to the 3000 page research report on what these clever so-an-so's learnt about the sun from this thing in a few years.

Actually, scientific articles are really quite short. Scientists are far too busy, and poorly paid, to put together 3000 page reports willy nilly. I certainly wouldn't read it. The report in Nature, which I havn't spotted in a very cursory search yet actually, is probably only a couple pages in length (albeit with tiny font).

Its the government reports that are 3000 pages in length and accomplish approximately nothing.

 

[Tiger Sora]

Whats there to learn from the sun. It's made of mostly hydrogen and helium, it burns super hot. And every 11 years it shoots out more energy than usual. I's not gona blow up anytime soon and if it were to well bugger all we could do. Now science wheres my jetpack and hover car. You promised me one 50 years ago and I still don't have them.

ATOMIC LASERS YAY! To study the sun? Awwwwww....

And quit ruining everything.

 

[Vigormortis]

Hmmmm...
Super-heating laser, powerful enough to (quite possibly) blow up planets?
Right, I need a freighter ship, some helicopters, and maybe a small assault team. I'm taking it.
But, in all seriousness, that's pretty cool, although the heat thing's a little scary.

The heat thing isn't that scary. They're talking about heating up objects to that temp on a quantum scale.

Besides, the scarier bit has already been done. Today's experimental fusion reactors heat up the hydrogen gas inside to hundreds of millions of degrees F. That's a tad scarier.

So, how long until we can affix this

Spoiler: ''Lazer''

to sharks?

Not soon enough, my friend. Not soon enough.

Lasers, quantum levitation, antimatter...

Next thing you know, we'll be visited by space hippies with pointy ears. Live long and prosper!

Next up, tricorders. Portable scanning devices that can "peek" inside someone, give accurate measurements, and allow for immediate prognoses.

Oh wait...
http://www.gizmag.com/general-electric-vscan-handheld-ultrasound-scanner/13180/

Well...damn. I guess all we have left are hand-held phasers, anti-and-artificial gravity, and transporters before we really are living in Roddenberry's world.

 

[Vigormortis]

one step closer to fusion power

Oh God I wish. Sadly, this new tech isn't likely to help. Unless they can find a way to bump up the lasers end-result heating from a few million to a few hundred million degrees, it's not that handy. As far as fusion is concerned, anyway.

I'm making what is likely a woefully ill-informed assumption, but based on what I know, I'm not seeing this new laser being used in that way.

Besides, achieving fusion isn't a challenge anymore. We've already done that. The new challenge is making it stable and getting it to output more energy than is put in to start the reaction.

 

[The Great JT]

Oh sure, just because a scientist wants to make an atomic laser, that makes them mad! At least they're doing something to advance the human race, unlike those anchors we call politicians.

 

[Machine Man 1992]

Oh sure, it starts out as a tool for science, next thing you know they're launching it into space and using it to turn Korea into an island chain.

Just sayin'

 

[Blue Hero]

That's cool and all, but I'd still rather cook my food with my brand new Mr T. Flavorwave Oven instead.

 

[Ghaleon640]

Now I know I'm probably being dumb, but it seems a little odd to try be shooting random shit at the one big yellow ball we have keeping us alive. And if we shoot it at other stars, wouldn't it take years for data to come back to us or something. Shot at wrong star, gonna take hundreds of millions of years for it to get back. Hit a planet, wiped out another planet with life by mistake.

 

[oktalist]

The laser is called the Linac Coherent Light Source (LCLS) and is able to fire rapid-fire laser pulses that heat matter up to over 3.6 million degrees Fahrenheit.

Fahrenheit? Fahrenheit!? It's not the 1950s any more, y'know. Next you'll be telling me it's 18 cubits in length.

Jesus, an ATOMIC laser?

Oh wait, I think many lasers produce coherent light from atoms

Win.

hmm so how long before this thing gets weponized?

Time before military uses it for violent means?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advanced_tactical_laser

I'm more concerned about electronic devices that heal themselves with liquid metal [http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/adma.201102888/abstract].

Now how many inventions until we trigger the robot holocaust?

About four.