Make baseless assumptions about game characters!

[kettlefirer]

Ezio Altidore has a profound love of pencil sharpeners and is an ambassador for world peace.
Between the neck stabbing and poisoning, obviously.
He is also a master at guitar hero.

 

[Vault101]

The courier is really the Lone wanderer after she got sick of DC and went on an epic journy in search of the mythical "New Vegas" and a better life

the mysterious stranger is the G-man

 

[No-Superman10]

The entire of Resident Evil is a drunken hallucination, the actual situation is a college dorm with the Redfield siblings, Leon Kennedy, Wesker and Sheva. (W and S are exchange students) All locked in a Marijuana-induced haze. (This explains all the healing items being various forms of hempHerbs.)

wait, but are the guns still real? lol

BB Guns and water pistols.

 

[RA92]

Haha the Kaiden one was hilarious......and true. I didn't know you played HL2:Episode 2. I didn't :/

Here's the thing, I played with FemShepard (better voice acting, hurts less looking at your character with BioWare facial animation, and much more entertaining watching her manhandle other men twice her size) and I still killed off Alenko... simply because he described a strip club as 'too much light and noise'. Wuss. Deserved to die. Anyway, I'm going through ME2, and will kill off that racist Ash if I can to get off that guilt heh heh heh!

Oh, haven't gone through HL2:E2 yet. I was just checking up on the Hunter after seeing the trailer at the end of E1.

When he is alone, Commander Shephard takes the model ships out of the case in his/her cabin and has imaginary dogfights with them........with accompanying sound effects ;IE, Pew Pew Pew Whoosh!

You actually made me go back to the captain's cabin and notice that. Hilarious!

 

[AssassinJoe]

Kratos: compensating for a small penis.

no, no- if it was small all the ladies wouldn't jump at the opportunity like they do. He's compensating for the fact that he only lasts 45 seconds.

Well if it isn't small then explain why his sex scenes are quit-time events.

 

[Battenbergcake]

Commander Shepard is sellectively deaf to his/her first name.

 

[MysteriousStranger10]

Morinth donates credits to a homeless shelter and then was committed because she stared at them for prolonged periods of time and said she was screwing their brains.

 

[The Boy in the Hat]

The G-Man carries cake in his briefcase.
The Siren from Borderlands is a former Miss World (and won by default after killing all the other contestants.)
Rico Rodriguez of Just Cause 2 keeps over 9000 deadly scorpions as pets and had to sneak over the border.

 

[bowserboy26578]

Kratos: compensating for a small penis.

no, no- if it was small all the ladies wouldn't jump at the opportunity like they do. He's compensating for the fact that he only lasts 45 seconds.

Well if it isn't small then explain why his sex scenes are quit-time events.

length and duration are not parallels my friend

 

[BelmontClan]

Cloud is really a very happy guy, he likes to watch Thundercats and his favorite drink is Orangina.

This makes me laugh for whatever reason.

 

[northeast rower]

Altair once swam across the Delaware River.

Gordon Freeman has no vocal chords due to an extra-hot casserole (thumbs up if you get the reference)

Solid Snake suffers from erectile disfunction.

 

[BelmontClan]

Cloud actually isn't compensating for anything! SOLDIER only made one kind of sword: giant ass cleaver

 

[Amorphisbob]

Kratos (God of War) enjoys writing Twilight fan-fiction

G-Man (Half Life) has space gonnorhea for doin the nasty with alien whores

Claptrap (Borderlands) Is actually Justin Beiber in a microwave oven... SOMEBODY PUSH THE DAMN BUTTON!

 

[OliverTwist72]

When he is alone, Commander Shephard takes the model ships out of the case in his/her cabin and has imaginary dogfights with them........with accompanying sound effects ;IE, Pew Pew Pew Whoosh!

LOL when I first walked into his cabin I saw those ships and was like so...what does he do play with them?

Sledge from Borderlands loves to kick back and watch Antiques Roadshow while snuggling his kitty. (PS you are not friends)

 

[Dr. Paine]

Commander Shepard is a xenophile.

... how is that unfounded?
-coughs- Anyway.

Chell has a chocolate allergy.

Commander Shepard does not have dogfights using their model ships and making the appropriate sounds. They take them down to the cargo hold to have Grunt join in.

 

[Chairman Miaow]

Martin Septim of Oblivion fame is actually a time traveller who helped turn the tide of the Napoleonic wars. (kudos to anyone who gets that reference.)

 

[OliverTwist72]

Martin Septim of Oblivion fame is actually a time traveller who helped turn the tide of the Napoleonic wars. (kudos to anyone who gets that reference.)

I c wut u did thar...He also helped some dude get rid of some jewelry

 

[Dr. Paine]

Commander Shepard regularly hosts Movie and TV nights and got the entire ship hooked on the works of Joss Whedon (and alot of jokes about the Alliance living up to it's name).

Like this? [http://pokketmowse.deviantart.com/art/Space-Bros-169499831]

... I can't think of any more contributions to the topic, sadly.

 

[Drops a Sweet Katana]

On topic: Garrosh Hellscream has a pet kitten named "Sillywhiskers" which he snuggles with every night to keep the "bad people" away

HA! That is probably the best one I've seen

 

[TundraWolf]

Geralt (from The Witcher) is actually a guy named Jerry who is playing an elaborate LARP. All the combat, effects from potions and magic attacks are what he imagines would happen, but all he's actually doing is yelling random things at the other people playing.

Isaac Clarke (from Dead Space) is an evil necromancer. The necromorphs aren't the result of the Marker; it's entirely Isaac's fault. He sacrificed his girlfriend to bring the dead back to life, but now her soul is haunting him. He's merely trying to regain control of the situation and his undead minions so he can conquer the universe.

Diddy Kong is actually Donkey Kong's illegitimate son and doesn't know it. Donkey Kong does, though, and he's trying to make amends for abandoning Diddy and his mother, Doddy, when Diddy was born.