Make your job title sound more epic than it is

total crazy talk

New member
Jul 16, 2009
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I am currently working on a refit for a luxury yacht
http://www.shipspotting.com/gallery/photo.php?lid=1455262
so ... Master nautical craftsman
 

Idlemessiah

Zombie Steve Irwin
Feb 22, 2009
1,050
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I could have several since I work in a supermarket.

Cigarette counter? The Herbalist
Cashier? The Gatekeeper of Your Nourishment
Trolleys? The Steel Beast Tamer

I'm also a qualified archaeologist so...

The Time Sifter!
 

Trucken

New member
Jan 26, 2009
707
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I work as a handyman, doing a little bit of everything. I can build walls, I can tear them down, I can fix things that are broken. I create, destroy and maintain.

I'm fucking Shiva!
 

giles

New member
Feb 1, 2009
222
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Theoretical High Energy Physicist!

Well, while that's accurate, it really does sound more epic than it is -.-
 

nykirnsu

New member
Oct 13, 2012
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I'm still in high school and don't have a job; my parents me what little money I need...

...I'm an heir to the treasured family fortune.
 

Shoggoth2588

New member
Aug 31, 2009
10,250
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I work in the back room of a Target...

...I am The Organizer. I put things in their place and, bring things into the public's eye if need be. It doesn't sound that epic I guess but I don't know if 'The Fixer' sounded any better on paper.
 

renegade7

New member
Feb 9, 2011
2,046
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I'm in graduate school studying astronautical engineering. Right now, I'm having to take a lot of physics stuff, and a lot of my work recently has involved high-energy kind of stuff, accelerators, Marx generators, Tesla coils, etc. Since I did a lot of research in chemistry during my undergrad, I shall be...

The Lightning Alchemist ...well, apprentice, I guess.

But my end goal for that is so that I can be an astronautical engineer. That is to say, LITERALLY A ROCKET SCIENTIST. And I'll get to ironically say "Well, I'm no rocket scientist, but..." and "Seriously man, this isn't rocket science!" anytime I have a disagreement with someone. Which will be always.

Technically, since I've passed the FE, my official title is "Engineer in training". Kind of a misnomer really, as you can only take that title AFTER finishing an engineering degree program and passing the FE, but I guess it makes sense since traditionally I would start an apprenticeship now, and engineers can get a bit snobbish about their field and its various traditions. But hey, I actually have an official title ^.^
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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Jolly Co-operator said:
I do some freelance work for the IT department of a local school district whenever I have the time. I am "The Tech Mercenary"
That's cool and all, but I am The Tech Ronin.

Ignore the historical context and focus on the modern romantic elements.
 

wooty

Vi Britannia
Aug 1, 2009
4,252
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I'm (currently) a shitty bottom of the social pile, brainless, surrounded by racist retards, dumb factory drone.

Though my epic title would be Master of Machinery. In an ideal world.
 

Saika Renegade

New member
Nov 18, 2009
298
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I am the Last Judge of Knowledge, which is a fancy way of saying that my night job consists of putting hopeful teachers through tests to have them prove they know what they're doing and are actually qualified to be in a classroom as anything other than a student. People's career plans live and die on passing the tests that I oversee since government-mandated certification is in effect and the test is usually the last hurdle to getting a job in education.
 

Varrdy

New member
Feb 25, 2010
875
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I'm a transport clerk / admin guy...I manage eight-million spreadsheets (why does everyone think spreadsheets will solve every problem?!?) when not handing out work to drivers and trying to stave of psychosis brought on by just how moronic some people can be.

I am a Haulage Oracle
 

maidenm

New member
Jul 3, 2012
90
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I'm still studying but can I still join the game? I study application development...
I will be "The Creator".
 

Caffiene

New member
Jul 21, 2010
283
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Tech retail. ie, mostly selling people updated versions of their old tech stuff. Tablets, printers, etc.

I am the Gatekeeper of the Singularity.
 

Frank Reading

New member
Mar 30, 2011
18
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total crazy talk said:
I am currently working on a refit for a luxury yacht
http://www.shipspotting.com/gallery/photo.php?lid=1455262
so ... Master nautical craftsman
That doesn't even need exagerration to be cool. Also, cool that it's an actual sailing yacht, not one of those disgusting, bloated floating ostentation-palaces with 16 diesel motors, 12 televisions and four hot tubs (which in my opinion should be not be called by the same name as a real wind-powered sports vessel)
 

Revolutionary

Pub Club Am Broken
May 30, 2009
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Grand higher-level knowledge acquisition officer. (Uni student)
I used to work as a tech escort (storeroom in a hi-fi store).