An update on this thread, for those who were kind enough to give me advice:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.83146?page=1
Since the last post, I have sent two e-mails, one polite but calling him out on what he did, giving evidence so that he couldn't talk his way out, which wasn't responded to.
The second was three sentences, saying that if he didn't respond to this one I'd take that as the end of our friendship. Again polite but ignored.
Well, I've just finished a call from an irate ex, who was going mad because he's says he's lost everything because of me - his house, dog and girlfriend (the house confuses me, he said previously that the house was all his, and he even had a mortgage - joint maybe?). He even had the gall to say that he "cared for me" and considered our friendship "honest"... I hung up at that point, something that I haven't done for years!* Liberating but scary.
What seems to have happened is that a friend of mine (who has the girlfriend as a Friend on Facebook), who I've known for over ten years, forwarded the girlfriends mother a private message I sent to her asking whether she knew why he was keeping the girl secret from me.
The only other things in the message were about him only calling and visiting occasionally for short periods, normally to complain about life and to have a shoulder to cry on, and the "you still look good" line. Nothing aside from that comment though, not the look up and down nor the elongated hug before he left.
Nothing else was written aside from those three things, and a worry about his general well-being.
She is the only person I've contacted about this (obviously this forum doesn't count as it's relatively anonymous).
He now has a printout of that message.
Something is fishy here - why would someone split from someone they've bought a house and a dog with over a message from an ex which doesn't have anything remotely incriminating, aside from the secrecy? I've since blocked him on mail and FB, and there's no way he'll come over to my house as he's terrified of both my sister and mother, both of whom can tear him new ones wherever they are needed. I won't be back in contact with him again.
I am feeling so sick right now though. My head really hurts too - I hate falling out with anyone, or upsetting them, and I didn't want to split them up, she seems like a really nice girl. Surely there's got to be more going on than this for her to leave him? Not that I'll ever find out.
I do hope that they sort things out, if this really is the only reason they fell out. I can't imagine splitting up from someone over such a small thing alone.
* The last time was when we'd first started going out, and my ex from a little while before him was making abusive calls and texts because his married girlfriend had just left him, after the two of us compared notes and realised that he was seeing both of us at the same time, including leaving my 21st early to go and see her. I was meant to "talk him up" to her, so that she would leave her husband and child... Yeah right...
The current ex was trying to cheer me up the whole time because it really upset me, so I hope that at some point he realises what's happened.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.83146?page=1
Since the last post, I have sent two e-mails, one polite but calling him out on what he did, giving evidence so that he couldn't talk his way out, which wasn't responded to.
The second was three sentences, saying that if he didn't respond to this one I'd take that as the end of our friendship. Again polite but ignored.
Well, I've just finished a call from an irate ex, who was going mad because he's says he's lost everything because of me - his house, dog and girlfriend (the house confuses me, he said previously that the house was all his, and he even had a mortgage - joint maybe?). He even had the gall to say that he "cared for me" and considered our friendship "honest"... I hung up at that point, something that I haven't done for years!* Liberating but scary.
What seems to have happened is that a friend of mine (who has the girlfriend as a Friend on Facebook), who I've known for over ten years, forwarded the girlfriends mother a private message I sent to her asking whether she knew why he was keeping the girl secret from me.
The only other things in the message were about him only calling and visiting occasionally for short periods, normally to complain about life and to have a shoulder to cry on, and the "you still look good" line. Nothing aside from that comment though, not the look up and down nor the elongated hug before he left.
Nothing else was written aside from those three things, and a worry about his general well-being.
She is the only person I've contacted about this (obviously this forum doesn't count as it's relatively anonymous).
He now has a printout of that message.
Something is fishy here - why would someone split from someone they've bought a house and a dog with over a message from an ex which doesn't have anything remotely incriminating, aside from the secrecy? I've since blocked him on mail and FB, and there's no way he'll come over to my house as he's terrified of both my sister and mother, both of whom can tear him new ones wherever they are needed. I won't be back in contact with him again.
I am feeling so sick right now though. My head really hurts too - I hate falling out with anyone, or upsetting them, and I didn't want to split them up, she seems like a really nice girl. Surely there's got to be more going on than this for her to leave him? Not that I'll ever find out.
I do hope that they sort things out, if this really is the only reason they fell out. I can't imagine splitting up from someone over such a small thing alone.
* The last time was when we'd first started going out, and my ex from a little while before him was making abusive calls and texts because his married girlfriend had just left him, after the two of us compared notes and realised that he was seeing both of us at the same time, including leaving my 21st early to go and see her. I was meant to "talk him up" to her, so that she would leave her husband and child... Yeah right...
The current ex was trying to cheer me up the whole time because it really upset me, so I hope that at some point he realises what's happened.
