Mall Fight - Back To Basics (Open)

[Knife-28]

I respawn, and blow up the Hot Topic with garden fertiliser.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

I blow up Knife by throwing Martin in it.
I'm drunk, alright?

 

[Knife-28]

I wonder how I managed to blow up the garden fertiliser by being thrown at it. Shrugging, I pick up a nearby newspaper, which bursts into flames. "Oh my god, I must have powers!" I say, before using said powers to kill everyone in The Room. Or at least, I would, if it wasn't a dieing dream of mine I had as Diablo threw me at Tox.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

I rip off Eric's mouth with a rusty craving knife to shut him up.

 

[Knife-28]

However, Diablo's rusty craving knife is actually an incredibly blunt plastic knife.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

I stare at it then give Knife a Rectal Exam with it.

 

[Knife-28]

I respawn, and head to the nearest electronics store. After gathering several armfuls of electronics gear, I barricade myself inside the 'Cuewt And Flwuffy Stuffed Animals' store, conveniently located to the electronics store.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

I throw a fire bottle at Knife's fort, burning him to death.

 

[Knife-28]

Fort, what Fort? I most certainly never had a fort.
Anyway, I finish working on a robotic teddy bear, which I send out into the mall.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

I steal it and slam it on Knife's Head.
"TAG!"
I run.

 

[Knife-28]

The force of the slam gives me a brain hemorrhage, and I respawn in the control centre of the mall. I set the language filter to Italian for no particular reason, then watch some good quality TV. And by that I mean ponies.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

I stab Knife it a spoon and shut everything down.
NO PLOT!

 

[Knife-28]

"Plot, what plot?" I say to Diablo, before picking up the office chair I was sitting in and swinging it in his general direction.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

I run into the food court and get a bucket of roasting fat and throw it at Knife.

 

[Knife-28]

I respawn, and tackle Diablo into the fountain.

 

[Knife-28]

What Eric fails to realise, is that he is now drowning.

 

[Zepherus14]

I spawn in the temperature control room of the mall. "ooo wonder what this does?"

Turns the dial setting it to -1 kelvin (Yes I know it's impossible), instantly freezing everyone, including myself. As my frozen body falls, it turns the temperature back to the original temperature.

 

[Knife-28]

I respawn, along with the newcomer. "Ohhithereyoumustbenewimknifeiwillbeyourhostforthisgameihopeyouenjoyyourstay!" I say, before flipping him into the fountain.

 

[The Thinker]

I spawn in time to hear the welcome from Knife, whose head I then bash against the fountain, killing him.

 

[The Thinker]

I spawn in the temperature control room of the mall. "ooo wonder what this does?"

Turns the dial setting it to -1 kelvin (Yes I know it's impossible), instantly freezing everyone, including myself. As my frozen body falls, it turns the temperature back to the original temperature.

I slay you with a plot hole [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative_temperature] I nitpick up.