Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

"...You're right. I'll just give up fuck this I can't do it sweet Jesus what is wrong with me hell shit fuckfuckfuck."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Nah man, you gotta play it cool and hard to get. Pretend you're not interested, and be a small bit of a douche to her. Here, go put these on."
I give Salt some 'Chav' clothes.

 

[Saltarius]

"I thought being direct was the best way to do this."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Look dude, who are you gonna trust? The guy with the questionable mental state, or Knife? Just put the clothes on, and she'll soon fall for you."

 

[Saltarius]

"Knife, actually."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Clothes. On. Now."

 

[Saltarius]

"I'm just going to try again the normal way."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"We're doing this the hard way then."
I knock Salt out.

 

[Sigma Castell]

I burn Salts clothes.
"Lol nope."

 

[Saltarius]

I lie unconscious.

 

[MinimanZombie]

I put the chav clothes over his current burnt ones.
"There we go. Now, give it a while and you'll have the perfect mindset in no time."
I put a tape recorder beside his ear, playing the audio version of 'How to Win Women: Dick Style'.

 

[Saltarius]

I wake up and kick Zombie in the dick, before running back into the office and killing myself, respawning with my normal clothes.

"Dude. I'm doing this the old-fashioned way."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"But Sis is a...Modern chick? Just try my way, I'm sure it will work! Please?"

 

[Saltarius]

"I am not risking something this big with something you came up with."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Came up with? Dude, did you see the couples back on earth?"

 

[Sigma Castell]

I perform emergency brain surgery and replace Salts brain with a Kiwi.

 

[Saltarius]

"No, and I honestly don't want to."

I die of improper transplanting and respawn.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Salt! Think about it! Douchebags got the girl! My plan is flawless."

 

[Saltarius]

"I'm pretty sure that a person that said girl feels attracted to is the one who 'gets' them."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Do you get her?"