Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Sigma Castell]

I roll to seduce the dragon.
I get a 1.
I turn into an Unattractive Object for five turns.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I drag Sigma out of the cocaine pile, then try to gently slide the alright-tasting and, in all likelihood, poisoned pancake down his throat.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Like a god from the machine, an orb appears near Salt's shoulder. It floats in midair and radiates a light blue aura around it. "'Sup, Saltine?" It greets.

 

[Saltarius]

"...Dude, kind of doing something right now."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Well, as fun as getting your heart broken for the nth time sounds; it's Black Soul time, *****." If he had hands, or a tangible body, he would be putting sunglasses on at this time. "Now, come on, let's blow this popsicle stand."

 

[Saltarius]

"But...she hasn't even answered."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Saltine, we both know what her answer going to be."

 

[Saltarius]

"Well...this time could be different!"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"How? Why?"

 

[Saltarius]

"Erm...the mood?"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Saltine, do you know why I call you 'Saltine'?"

 

[Saltarius]

"Because my name is Salt and I'm white?"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"It's because you're bland and uninteresting. No one ever talks about the best cracker they've had. Now, look over there." He pointed his wispy tail toward a large robot holding a black male from his feet.

"Holy Mountain of Faith!" The black male exclaimed, "The A.I. in the Hum-Bot went haywire! I just need to reach the cockpit before it realizes it has boosters!" The so-called Hum-Bot then blasted away with it's boosters, "DAAAAAAAAAAAA[sup]AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[/sup][sup][sup]AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN[/sup][/sup][sup][sup][sup]NNNNNNN IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT![/sup][/sup][/sup]"

"See, why can't you be interesting like him?"

 

[Saltarius]

"I think I'm going to go spiral into depression now."

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Don't do that!" Black Soul exclaimed, "There's no point! You have to change yourself! Make yourself cooler!"

 

[Saltarius]

"I'm not seeing the point. Also why are you being referred to in a narrative manner?"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Shut up, Salt. Don't break the fourth wall. "Well, if want to continue to bang your head against the same wall, I won't stop you."

 

[Paddy the Second]

My tulpa greets the orb. "Hello orb."

 

[Saltarius]

"I want to succeed is what I want."

 

[Sigma Castell]

I wake up, and notice Trilby trying to shove the poison pancake down my throat.
"Trilby plz."
I punch him in the face and throw him at Salt.