Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

"Could you be a little less critical of my proportions? No? Then fuck off."

 

[Connor Lonske]

"ok then. be coy. now if you don't mind me. i have a lp to record while going insane."

i come to my chair after you get off it and i press the recording button. "OK everyone i'm back! sage is here too. he wants me to kill bob. poor bob. poor poor bob. whelp. where's the spiny saw?"

 

[RaNDM G]

"Uh, Connor, you, uh, it's, uh, uhm, on the floor."

 

[Knife-28]

"I, what? What the fuck are you on about?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"well shit. time to use the kinect" i move my chair back, pause the game, and turn on the kinect, which begins tracking my entire body, letting me control the surgeon "shit this is awesome."

i consider the possibilities "you know what fuck the saw."

"fuck you bob!" i punch bob in the face, "thanks for teaching that new stright technique sage!"

 

[Saltarius]

"You keep calling me 'melon chest', 'Hindenburg boobs', etc."

 

[RaNDM G]

DAMAGE: -6!

BOB: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII------

"Yeah, fuck Bob! Fuck his wife and kids!"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"yeah. let's tear bob apart!" i remove the surgical sheet and look for weak points, while also giving whatever is inside the finger.

 

[Knife-28]

"I never did that." I say, "And if your mistaking me for other Knife I swear to god I will...do...something...I guess."

 

[Saltarius]

"MAMA OOOO WOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Then tell other Knife to fuck off about being such a ****."

 

[Knife-28]

"Tell him yourself." I say, tossing Salt my phone.

 

[Saltarius]

"Other Knife. Yeah, you. You're a sod, a ****, a git, a wanker, a fuckstick, a fanny, and a load of other insults."

 

[RaNDM G]

"yeah. let's tear bob apart!" i remove the surgical sheet and look for weak points, while also giving whatever is inside the finger.

"I'm sure whatever is inside wouldn't care if you're giving them the finger."

 

[Knife-28]

"Why I'm flattered Ms Croft." Knife says. "Was there some reason you called or or you just going to insult me some more?"

 

[Connor Lonske]

"hmmm" i take a scalpel of the floor and cut around his organs looking for a weak spot so i can make him eat his own ass (and i do very terrible at it)

 

[Saltarius]

"Wait, not done. You are a, in succession, animal fucker, human anal seepage, dick swab, a cock biscuit, a dirty used condom, and a Nazi the other Nazis won't play cards with."

 

[RaNDM G]

"hmmm" i take a scalpel of the floor and cut around his organs looking for a weak spot so i can make him eat his own ass (and i do very terrible at it)

You are not even sure that is possible, but whatever man, your buddy won't stop you from trying.

You end up cutting around the small and large intestines. Somehow you manage it under ten hours, even with wonky Kinect control.

DAMAGE: -3

 

[Connor Lonske]

"i have the feeling someone was just clever with an insult about nazis. or maybe i'm still crazy. OH WELLLLLLLLL."

i manage cut to cut off most of the intestines.

"awesome. now to punch this gun in his failing kidney"

 

[Knife-28]

"Well, I did nazi that coming, remind me to avoid you when your on your rag." Knife says with a chuckle.

 

[RaNDM G]

You punch this gun in his failing kidney.

Or try to actually. The liver is in the way.

DAMAGE: -7