Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

"Anne Frankly, you're just unpleasant."

 

[Knife-28]

"You know it Boobarella."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Why won't I die."

 

[Saltarius]

"Kiss-ass."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I kick Salt's legs out from under her, then stand up.
"Knife, get up here so I can kill you." I yell at the phone, while attempting to draw a handgun, which is in an ankle holster, with my foot.

 

[Knife-28]

"How about a compromise, I get up there, but you shoot Salt."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"That sounds fair."

 

[Saltarius]

"I say you shoot me and Knife."

I try and subtly put on a bulletproof vest.

 

[Knife-28]

"Nah, that just sounds convoluted." Knife says, appearing next to me. "Christ, don't do that." I mutter.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I finally get the gun out and aim it at Salt's head. I squeeze the trigger with my big toe, then hop around to face Knife. I raise my leg and shoot him, too.

 

[Saltarius]

I respawn and spit on Knife's corpse.

 

[Knife-28]

"Now now Salt, that's just rude." Knife says, respawning. "Though Trilby I will pay you on that shot, you not nearly as 'armless as I thought."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I pistol-whip Knife.

 

[Saltarius]

"I'm gonna piss on everything you love."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Salt, can I get my arms back now?"

 

[Saltarius]

"We haven't been to the brothel yet, so no."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I promise I won't kill any prostitutes."

 

[Saltarius]

"Put it in writing. At least six forms."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"..."
I shoot Salt in the foot.

 

[MinimanZombie]

I walk out of a now burning brothel.
"Who would have thought? You can start fires with fire extinguishers."
I mark it off of my list.
"And that's the final one."