Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Paddy the Second]

I use the steam to heat my crack pipe. "We're in the mall dude."

 

[Saltarius]

"Right."

I sit down next to Paddy and light a joint.

"So, what the fuck are we gonna do when we get to this Imir place? We gonna fight the system or go along with it?"

 

[Wackymon]

A drawr begins to roll into the steam room.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"We save the universe and get back to earth. That's the plan. Also get down." I climb into a ventilation shaft.

 

[Wackymon]

The drawer explodes, sending knives diving into everyone, ripping the vents to shreds.

 

[Saltarius]

"Right...have you ever heard of something called Orion? My trippy ass death coma showed up again and that was one of the only two things in it."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Orion is a constellation, didn't you ever read a book about space? He was a legenda..." I bleed out and fall from the vent.

I respawn and walk back to Salt. "He was a hunter in Greek mythology."

 

[Saltarius]

"I'm not stupid man, it's just one of those weird doomsday weapon scenarios like the evil assholes like 'Let's name it after some greek shit!' I mean, maybe it is. Fuck if I know."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I also know it's a song by These New Puritans. Or whatever their name is. Why do you expect me to know about doomsday weapons anyway?"

 

[Saltarius]

"No reason. *cough* because you'd probably make one *cough*"

"Okay changing topic, are you like an oracle or some shit too? Hvae you seen trippy shit in your dreams aside from the obvious?"

 

[Paddy the Second]

"If I stopped taking so many drugs I would see the future in my dreams. Which is why I take so many drugs. And for the record doomsday weapons aren't my style, I'm more of a one on one combat kinda supervillain."

 

[Saltarius]

"Right. Say, Paddy, are you sober now? I can wait."

Frying pan behind my back as I say this, prepared to knock out Paddy.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Nice frying pan." I punch myself in the face until I'm unconscious.

 

[Saltarius]

I wait patiently at Paddy's side to hear from his trippy dream shit when he wakes up.

 

[Wackymon]

Another Drawer rolls in on two scateboards.

 

[Saltarius]

I fire my revolver at the drawer before it draws it too close. It goes off harmlessly to me and Paddy.

 

[Wackymon]

Diane walks in, covered in grese, "Aww, you missed the bomb! I filled that up with Cupcakes!"

 

[Saltarius]

"Yeah, and this gun is filled with soda pop. Care for some?"

I fire it into her skull.

 

[Wackymon]

Diane falls down, and respawns.
Then she appears behind Salt with frebrease and a lighter, setting salt on fire with her flame thrower.

 

[Saltarius]

"I'm not sure you understand the whole 'armor from fuedal japan.' That shit don't succumb to fire easy."

I slice Diane's arms off and turn the makeshift flamethrower on her.