Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Wackymon]

Diane dies... again.
Three drawers begin to roll to salt, surrounding him on all sides. Around him are twelve mini-helicopters.

 

[Saltarius]

"Honestly, I try and be a good person by forming the G-Team, protectors of the mall, and this shit happens."

I backflip onto a drawer before leaping off and firing wildly at the pursuing helicopters.

"PADDY! NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO WAKE UP! DIANE'S GONE FULL CUPCAKES!"

 

[Wackymon]

The drawer blows up, killing Salt.

 

[Saltarius]

"Oh you."

I resuit myself and repair the armor before sitting down next to the still unconscious Paddy.

"Dude. Dude. Dude. Wake up. Dude. Wake up dude. Dude Wake up."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Unfortunately I don't see very far into the future. And maybe this shit wouldn't have happened if you hadn't shot Diane with a crossbow."

 

[Wackymon]

Diane happily rolls up to Paddy and salt, "That was fun, wasn't it! Do you want to do it again!"

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I just punched myself to sleep. At least it reminded me of that Superjail episode. Heh. Heh. Superjail. Anyway." I stand up and light some drugs. "What's going on?"

 

[Saltarius]

"We fought, had some laughs, I wrote stuff in her blood, it was cool. So did you see anything?"

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I saw what just happened."

 

[Saltarius]

"Very useful. Very fucking useful. Well, my badass suit is gone, Elorshrit is wrecked, and all I got is this samurai armor. How the fuck am I going to make it on Imir?"

 

[Paddy the Second]

"You can build a new suit and horse, you built a fucking Gundam in half an hour for god's sake, granted it fell apart under our weight, but the point still stands. And what the fuck is up with your robot horse's name anyway? And we don't know what we're gonna face, it could just be bears or some shit."

 

[Wackymon]

Diane looks at Salt, "Whats that?"

 

[Saltarius]

"He's my badass mechanical horse. And for the record, his name means horse in Russian. I mean, Iron Man built his first suit in a motherfucking cave in the Middle East."

I quit with the bitching and repair Elorshrit.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"That's pretty cool. Also how did you make my armour explode when it was just plates under my suit?"

 

[Wackymon]

Giant robot bears appear out of nowhere, and attack the group.

 

[Saltarius]

"I make everything I create have a self-destruct switch activated by specific thought. Most people don't know I pack shit tons of C4 in their armor."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I'm asking just how you packed C4 into sheet metal." I punch a bear in the nose.

 

[Saltarius]

"Never question an engineer like my own's prowess to pack shit in places you don't expect it to fit into. Ew, not like that."

I slice one of the bear's in hand before tearing off it's robo-claw and fashioning it into a gauntlet. A claw gauntlet if you will.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"You're the master." I mutilate a few bears.

 

[Saltarius]

I get the sudden urge to become John Simm and shoot lightning out of my hands, but decide against it as I test out my new gauntlet. It slices through the armor like cold steel through warm flesh I mean a hot knife through butter.

Eventually, the bears have fallen, and I have claimed my prize.

Their scrap metal.