Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

Being blind, I am unable to view, and by effect, be triggered by the porn.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

The audiobook is still playing.
"Sigma, stop taunting Salt."

 

[DotSlash]

"Salt, what would you know about my non-existant experiences with traps?"
I return to my laptop.

 

[Saltarius]

The bloodflow gets quicker and thicker.

"Make it stoooooooop."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I would but I'm busy driving."

 

[Saltarius]

"YOU'LL BE DROWNING IF YOU DON'T!"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Fine. Someone, glue Salt's nose shut or something."

 

[Sigma Castell]

"You knowSalt, I read some reaaaaaaaal great Mindfang/Dolorosa yesterday. I could probabl lend it to you if you want. It has a braille verion..."

 

[Saltarius]

"Not interested. Too plain and caters to any old schumck."

 

[DotSlash]

I calmly shove a large cork in Salt's nose and return to my laptop.

 

[Sigma Castell]

"Alright, whatever you say."
I lean over and whisper in Salts ear.
"Imagine if Sister got really fat whilst we were away"

 

[Saltarius]

"S-SIG!"

A fresh spray of blood dislodges the cork.

"STOP!"

 

[Sigma Castell]

The cork exits Salts nose at a supersonic speed, going straight through my eye and causing my head to explode in a spectacular fashion.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"JESUS H DICK WE ARE DRIVING! HOW HAVE THERE BEEN SO MANY FUCKING INJURIES! IT WOULD LITERALLY BE SAFER TO SHOOT OURSELVES AT THE SPACEPORT WITH A GIANT GOD DAMN CROSSBOW!"

 

[Saltarius]

"TELL HIM TO STOP GIVING ME AROUSING THOUGHTS! Oh god, if Sis were to know..."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"..."
I check my mobile phone.
"What if, theoretically, I never hung up when I called her?"

 

[Saltarius]

"You wouldn't."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I'm actually asking. How would you react? Meaning she heard everything from Barstow to now. Hypothetically, of course."

 

[Saltarius]

I cover my mouth with my hands and scream.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Well, that's a perfectly reasonable reaction to this hypothetical situation."
I pocket my phone and turn my attention back to the road.