Man caught molesting bicycle

[maidenm]

Right, this is now the best "guy with wierd fetishes caught" story I've heard. Best one was a chinese guy who had sex with a bench, got horribly stuck and had to call an ambulance. They needed to saw him out. Classic *wipes tear*

 

[WanderingFool]

This is absolutely disgusting, what a violation of simple human rights. If someone is sexually attracted to Bicycles that they shouldn't be judged for that. No one should be able to tell you who you can and can't love.

Yeah? What about the bike's rights? No one ever thinks about the victim...

Also, funniest thing Ive read all day...

 

[lacktheknack]

This is absolutely disgusting, what a violation of simple human rights. If someone is sexually attracted to Bicycles that they shouldn't be judged for that. No one should be able to tell you who you can and can't love.

Well, they can jack off on their own bicycle, then. Get your filthy, sticky lovestains off my baby! D:<

Seriously, though, what a bizarre story.

 

[snakeinthereeds]

I never said more 'lock-up' worthy... Just a matter of which is more relatable, not that term could really be applied to either. And in that context, pretty simple really.

I just misunderstood your "Which is something, I guess.", then.

 

[Saltyk]

You know.... I'm certain there is actually porn of this out there somewhere. Bike porn they probably call it. Men/women having sex with bikes. Then, there's the real freaky stuff where they have threesomes with the bikes. Then there's the so freaky it will give you nightmares stuff, that I don't even want to think about.

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

This is absolutely disgusting, what a violation of simple human rights. If someone is sexually attracted to Bicycles that they shouldn't be judged for that. No one should be able to tell you who you can and can't love.

It is someone else's bike, and he punctures the tyres, and I don't know if he cleans up after himself either. I don't need to tell you what those are in human terms.

 

[waj9876]

This is absolutely disgusting, what a violation of simple human rights. If someone is sexually attracted to Bicycles that they shouldn't be judged for that. No one should be able to tell you who you can and can't love.

Then he should start a relationship with his own bike, and stop injuring this one to make sure it can't ride away. He's raping it.

 

[Lonewolfm16]

Ok, people we need to have a talk. Tyres? What the hell are those? I don't know how you all spell it out in your heathen countries like France or England or Africa or South Asia or British Columbia, but here in the God Blessed nation of America, its tire. All you freaks need to start spelling right. (please note the heavy sarcasm, but I really have never seen it spelled tyre.)

 

[Spambot 3000]

He's probably getting as much done as possible before the inevitable ...

Spoiler

Anyway, this is pretty hilarious. Even moreso if I listen to Bicycle Race by Queen while reading the story.

 

[Angie7F]

I just like to read news a bout crazy people that are not from Japan for once!

 

[CrystalShadow]

This is absolutely disgusting, what a violation of simple human rights. If someone is sexually attracted to Bicycles that they shouldn't be judged for that. No one should be able to tell you who you can and can't love.

Eh. It's not his attraction to bikes, so much as the fact that he's molesting bikes that aren't his. (and seriously damaging them along the way.)

Also, think about how the bikes feel about all this... Having a strange man come up to you in public and rub his genitals on you...

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

Thats nothing, there a documentary about a man that loves his car, he fucks it as well. Poor car. An on the news a man fucked a bench but got stuck and had to have the fire brigade cut him out. lol

 

[Dreiko_v1legacy]

I bet he was bikecurious.

 

[Malkav]

This guy just stepped outside the internet.
*sees bike* icanfaptothis.jpg

"wait a minute. I can fap WITH this!"

 

[Bernzz]

Heh, guess we know who the village bicycle is now...

It's over folks, you can all go home. Spiritmaster has won the thread.

seriously man I'm dying over here

OT: Well. That DID cheer me up. All the same, that's enough news for today.

 

[RJ 17]

..............
Well this goes onto my list of "...are you fucking kidding me?" fetishes. Hey, I know the saying "whatever floats your boat", but seriously some things are just completely bizarre.

The #1 on my list of strange fetishes, though, is a rare one where a guy finds it impossible to climax unless - right on the brink of pleasure - he smashes a small statue. Doesn't matter what the statue is (though I think it'd be weirder if it did matter), just so long as he gets to smash one.

 

[Mr Mystery Guest]

The real question is did he cause the bicycle any distress and was it consensual, otherwise it is a victim less crime.

 

[Bonk4licious]

I just hope he used protection, otherwise the next story will be a custody battle for some poor tricycles.

 

[Goofguy]

Well, this is a strange story. Then again, we're taking about the human race here... not really surprising when you see some of the content that's easily accessible online.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Somehow, I find this man's actions more disturbing than an actual rapist.

I mean a guy rapes a girl, at least somehow that makes some sort of logical sense.

This guy? Who knows what the fuck he's thinking.

He's not only raped a bike, he's been raping the bike for WEEKS man.