Marriage without sex?

[Dark2003]

That was my relationship before it ended two days ago, its tough but you realize why you loved them in the first place, yeah i could do it. Some people die without having sex and some without having love, if i could have at least one sure

yeah she looked good from across the room at that party but after a couple of sentences you realize holy shit shes awesome

 

[chris89300]

Apparently, there are more "asexuals" than "normals" here.

Being a virgin doesn't mean you're asexual. If ya don't feel the need or the desire to have sex it's most probably because you haven't been properly stimulated yet.


Anyways, back to the topic.

Marriage is just a hassle. If ya love somebody, you don't have to marry them. Unless you want some legal benefits, which I find underwhelming compared to all the paperwork etc., you'd be better off staying the way you are.

Just think of all the legal procedures if you ever want/need to divorce, it sometimes takes years.

But it's a fact, a relationship without sex is doomed, especially if she is incapable of having an orgasm.

Even if you wouldn't eventually get sexually frustrated, if ya really love her, you'll get some kind of guilt.


My advice is to stay the way you are so you see how it goes but not get married, keep it cute and simple.

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

I would want to know why first. If I can.

At first I probably wouldn't mind, but remember that sex is a natural part of a human's life - why should we be forced to live without it? I don't know, it's a hard one, I'm not sure what I would do.

I'm just glad that the woman I intent to marry at some point is the opposite of asexual

 

[Helscreama]

Well, if the oral sex is going both ways then I go ahead and marry her. Sex isn't everything and when you both want to enjoy yourselfs...go go 69!

 

[Biosophilogical]

Well, I'm asexual, so it would be a match made in heaven.

This, except until I finish maturing (so about 23-25) I'll stick with an 'asexual for the moment' stance, because I honestly don't know if it will change as I finish puberty.

But, assuming I don't change, then this is my answer. If I do change, then why marry her? Can't we just be non-sexual partners? With an emotional bond stronger than any marriage?

Also, if we love eachother, and I have sexual urges that she cannot physically fulfill, then she'd want me to find satisfaction elsewhere (I wouldn't do it, but she'd stiull want me too), otherwise how is she my 'perfect girl'?

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

I would want to know why first. If I can.

At first I probably wouldn't mind, but remember that sex is a natural part of a human's life - why should we be forced to live without it? I don't know, it's a hard one, I'm not sure what I would do.

I'm just glad that the woman I intent to marry at some point is the opposite of asexual

The other thing I would like to consider is that I would want kids - my own, genetic offspring, not adopted kids. I don't really want to spend my life married to someone who I can't have kids with.

I still want to know why - why can't we have sex?

 

[Rblade]

how could a women who loves you dearly deny you this primal urge. Ok maby less sex, or something but unless she has some disease that would kill her (in which case I would consider it) all she does is selflessly forcing a man into mercilesly jacking off his entire life, because wanting sex is not something you can choose to not do.

 

[TyrunnAlberyn]

You are free to masturbate (I guess she can't, in the case that inspired this discussion,

What case? I feel like there's some really weird undercurrent going on in this thread, and I would really like to know what "case" inspired this thread.

PM me if it's something you don't want to talk about in the thread. I've known some people with physical issues, so I might have further insights.

Well, I do admire your offer very much, and I am grateful, but for now, let's just say that she had a "physical issue", as you call it, and that it made normal sex physically impossible. Not difficult, not painful, not unlikely, just plain impossible. She might have been able to enjoy receiving oral sex, in a way, but I am not even sure about that.

Other than that problem (and the health problems and psychological scars involved) she was simply as perfect as a girl could possibly be, especially for me. As I said, beautiful, talented, intelligent, kind, and very loving. We even shared many interests.
It's not like there wasn't any sexual passion. There was, on both sides, and we could kiss, hug, fondle, and rub against each other as much as we wanted, it's just sex that was impossible.

Marriage was not really an issue, of course, I am not even 18, it was just a question of whether or not to stay with her. Now is a bit too late to change my choice back then, but it just got me thinking enough to open the discussion here. My case is mostly irrelevant, it's the philosophical question I am interested at.

Well, it seems I have been -exactly- where you have.

The reason the girl I was dating at the time was unable to have sex had to do with severe sexual trauma from her past (and in her case, because of the psychological repercussions this included the fact that having her give me a blowjob would be nothing else than cruel and hateful). Back then, I was young, fairly inexperienced myself (so to some extent there was the "you don't really know what you're missing"-factor) and dramatically romantic, so I chose to stay with her no matter what.

It didn't last. I became increasingly more frustrated, while she became ever more self-centered and demanding in every way. My biggest regret in the entire ordeal to me was not breaking the relationship off sooner and salvaging the good friendship that had originally been at the root of it all.

 

[alexhaslam]

hmmm im not sure till i am in that situation.
but sex doesnt just invlove penatration. it is the love and sensual caring of your lover.
also there are otherways to cause orgasm if you work at it. for example finding places on their body that repsond well to physical contact and then enhanc the feeling in those areas.

people asume sex is in out in out when NO! you dont want just sex if you marry them you want lovemaking.

and marrige is about being with each other and become near one person and sharing life with each other.

coming from a virgin

 

[Myskomunken]

I've never seen the point of marriage from the start. It's like leveling up, but instead of bonuses you lose half your stuff when you piss the other part off. And if the other part pisses you off we (men) don't get shit.

 

[Simriel]

Given that my perfect woman would need to be deeply sexual in nature... then... Well the answer more or less speaks for itself huh?

 

[Simriel]

I want to make a bad joke that marriage is sexless anyways, but its overdone.

I could do it. Instead of sex, Id rather we game together, or play DnD together, or listen to music together, or watch bad movies together, or cuddle together, or play MTG together..or against eachother I guess.

Don't be forgetting Two headed Giant.

 

[Nieroshai]

Yes, I would. I see no problem here. If I love someone enough, there's always masturbation, but no way would I give up that person.

 

[ImperialSunlight]

Honestly I wouldn't get married regardless. Marriage is just the most stupid idea in the world.

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

I'm married and we went for just over a year without doing it simply because we lead busy lives, have three kids that need looking after and we were simply too tired at the end of the day. Didn't mean I loved or desired her any less. In fact we were stronger than ever because we knew that the relationship could survive having an absense of sex, which society portrays as the be all and end all.
Love and marriage are multi-faceted and sex is but one facet. Sure sex is a great thing to have in a marriage but you'd be a fool or incredibly short-sighted to let an absense of sex stop you from enjoying life with a loving, supporting partner. When you're in a relationship and clock over into your 30's you realise just how small scale sex is in perspective to everything else you can cram into your life.

This is understandable, but different than "you can never have sex again for the rest of your life", the OPs premise.

The answer is still yes.

 

[Cyberius]

Forgive me if this has already been brought up, but I don't think you can technically be lovers unless you have sex as well.

 

[Ace of Spades]

This'd be perfect for me. I'd gladly sacrifice the sexual component of a relationship for a strong physical and emotional connection.

 

[rofl jet]

Technically speaking you must consummate the marriage before it is "official".

Ignore the word "marriage", than. What your lover wants is for you to live together for the rest of your life and for you to never sleep with anybody else.
Does that make it more clear?

Anybody else?

 

[Pimppeter2]

At this point, I'm fairly certain my girlfriend and I will never have sex in my lifetime. We've been alone and intimate an innumerable number of times, and nothing has happened. Not to say she doesn't want to, but she just can't most of the times because of things I won't go into. We do other things, so it really isn't all the bad and doesn't bother me. What does bother me is lately I can't do those other things to her either, which makes me feel awful. But yeah, we do plan to take it to that level (the m word), and we do plan to take it to that level of intimacy as well, even though it'll take a while. But I'm really okay with that. Most of the time we're together we spend talking, cuddling, and kissing so much that we run out of time to do anything sexual either way. So I don't think it would be all that different with sex-sex.

I'm happy, and satisfied with what we have now. Sex will come as a pleasant surprise. And I'd like to advance that in the future, but we have time, so I don't sweat it.

 

[JaceArveduin]

btw, if you think about it, marriage is just a legal form of male rape, for the most part.