Marriage

[Flukey]

I once went to a weeding in South Africa for my uncle's wedding (my aunt is South African) we held the reception in a house they had designed and was in the process of being built (they're both architects) and I had a lovely chat with the gardener.

They've just recently had their first child, a little baby boy

Anyway, enough of the happy random memories. Yes, one day I do hope to be married to that special someone. Call me foolish, but I believe in there being only one person I can truly love, and I wish to spend the rest of my life with them, and being raised a Catholic, marriage is the natural step to take for me, and I will put everything I can into it. I hear stories of people who spend days on end away from each other and doing... err... unfaithful things, and then people seem surprised it doesn't work out. I am not sure why divorce is on the rise, but I do hear stories like this more and more.

But this thread is about marriage, not divorce, so to summarize, I have every intention of being married in the future, but not until I've finished my education and got a stable career

Wow, I'm pretty old fashioned... just makes sense to me

 

[razer17]

If that were the case, and marriage was for sex and babies, why would anyone want to be monotonous? the more partners you have the more babies you have, right? (speaking from a guys view)
From what I see, that argument against marriage makes no sense. In fact it makes an argument for polygamy.

no one of main aims of christian marriage, and remember that's what most of us refer to as marriage, was holy matrimony between two people, and one of the main aims was to allow sex and creation of babies under the watchful eyes of God. just to quote "the origin of marriage may lie in a man's need for assurance as to paternity of his children"

 

[SmilingKitsune]

I'm quite fond of the idea of marrige, binding yourself to another person, vowing to share the rest of your life with them.
For some people marrige feels unnecassary, and I don't feel any incredible need to get married, if you're with the one you love it doesn't matter if it's legaly binding or not.
There is something powerful about the whole idea though.

 

[Nomad]

otherwise i find marriage is an old religious tradition that is no longer really valid im modern society.

Hm. I don't know how it is where you live, but in Sweden (and I'm guessing many other nations as well) marriage is separated from the church. You can have a church wedding if you want to, of course, but you can also just as well visit the local authorities and get the paperwork done there. Nothing religious about it, it's just an acknowledgement that you plan on building a life together. Being married makes building that life easier and more secure, with the regulations on inheritance, custody of the children and all that.

And about giving the same legal "benefits" for cohabiting people as for married couples... I'm not all for that idea. Because having a cohabitual relationship doesn't necessarily mean you want commitment on the level that your partner will inherit you and all that. Getting married is sort of an agreement that you do want to tie your lives together indefinetly, something that most cohabiting couples aren't really ready for.

And yeah, I plan on getting married. For the reasons mentioned above.

 

[Jak The Great]

no one of main aims of christian marriage, and remember that's what most of us refer to as marriage, was holy matrimony between two people, and one of the main aims was to allow sex and creation of babies under the watchful eyes of God. just to quote "the origin of marriage may lie in a man's need for assurance as to paternity of his children"

My Bad, I thought we were talking about marriage in general terms of our society today. I would research some data regarding the divorce rate between religious groups and non religious groups, but I am at work, and that would take more time than is necessary. If I remember correctly from my sociology classes in College there was a fairly large gap between the divorce rate between the devout and non religious.

Again I have no proof on this, and I know it, so don't flame me on that. but when it really comes down to it, marriages fail because of a lack of commitment (again excluding extenuating circumstances)

 

[Lord_Ascendant]

If things go well and I stay steady with Stephanie, eventually yes I may pop the question.
On a side note, my feet and hands are ice cold for some reason after thinking of this. Is that a sign?

 

[Baby Tea]

I'm married! For almost a year (May 17th).
Let me tell you: I love it.

I love my wife, and being able to spend my life with my best friend is freaking awesome. People say the first year is the hardest, and if that's the case then this will be the easiest marriage of all time. We live in the smallest apartment you've ever seen, we've got only one paycheck coming in because she's finishing school, we barely make it paycheck to paycheck, and we're very happy.

You know those people who say 'I could never have only one partner for the rest of my life'? They simply haven't met the right one. That, or they are too selfish for a real committed relationship. Personally, I wouldn't trade this marriage for anything. It rocks.

 

[internutt]

I would love to be happily married someday. Unfortunately I recently went through a break up, so it will not be any time soon.

 

[IrrelevantTangent]

"Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah? So tweasuwe youw wove..."

Seriously though. Since divorce rates are so high nowadays and the fact that many people really are afraid of being shackled by commitment, I say, what's wrong with living-in-sin a little? (Wikipedia tells me this is actually called cohabitation too) If the arrangement, and I mean that in the metaphorical sense of the term, not the dity one, works out for say, a month or two and you feel like you can't know the person you're romantically involved with any more and you feel you're ready for marriage, go for it, and if not, nothing's been lost.

The only real problems with this plan, as I see it, would be any moral or ethical qualms one might have regarding living together and for all intents and purposes being married but not legally, but this is all subjective, and this is only my personal opinion.

 

[high_castle]

I don't know if I'd ever get married. I always hesitate to say "never" since you just don't know what tomorrow holds, but at the moment I find the possibility very unlikely. For several reasons really.

1) At the moment I'm happily single. I've never been one of those chicks who needs a man or relationship to define me, and indeed I tend to shy away from relationships altogether. I can't imagine wanting to change that in the near future.

2) Marriage is primarily a religious institution. Sure you get the handy tax breaks, but I'm not about to betray my lack of faith for the extra cash.

3) I'm involved in the gay rights movement and I think it would be hypocritical to get married before my friends and family members have that right. Sure, as more states adopt gay marriage, this one becomes a little more obsolete, but for the moment it's still valid.

4) The vast majority of married couples I know are miserable or in the process of getting a divorced. I know a grand total of 3 happily married couples. And all of them have been through some very rocky patches. I know people who are married and hate each other, but stay together because they can't afford a divorce. I don't want to be tied to someone just because I can't afford to leave him.

So there it is. Whether it makes me a cynic or somehow emotionally damaged, I really don't care. If you think you can survive the institution, I won't tell you otherwise. You're not me, after all. I just don't think I could be married. The little girl in me kind sometimes dreams about the big white wedding. But then the realist snaps back with all the points I've mentioned and more. Like the inherent commercialism in weddings. So no, I don't think I could be married.

 

[US Crash Fire]

My sister is getting married tomorrow, so my thoughts have turned to the institution of marriage. Naturally, I would like to hear from my dear Escapians on the matter -

Are you married? If not, do you plan to be in the future? Have you ever been part of someone else's marriage (like as a groomsman or bridesmaid)? Do you have any funny or interesting wedding stories?

Last summer, I was a groomsman in my friend's wedding. We all wore kilts It was... an experience.


My friend Kenny on his wedding day, looking very spiffy in his kilt

tell your sis congrats. i was supposed to be getting married tomorow as well. but my fiance wouldnt allow all of my family to come to the wedding because she wanted a "small" wedding and i have a BIG family.(i offered to pay for the whole wedding) after about a month of fighting about this she said "whats more important me or your family!" and "your just supposed to show up! its all about ME that day! and your making it all about you!" i told her if i cant have my family there and if she doesnt want them to be give me my ring back and it will be over. she did. 4 years of my life wasted.

i think im gonna drink myself to oblivion tonite....

 

[ThaBenMan]

tell your sis congrats. i was supposed to be getting married tomorow as well. but my fiance wouldnt allow all of my family to come to the wedding because she wanted a "small" wedding and i have a BIG family.(i offered to pay for the whole wedding) after about a month of fighting about this she said "whats more important me or your family!" and "your just supposed to show up! its all about ME that day! and your making it all about you!" i told her if i cant have my family there and if she doesnt want them to be give me my ring back and it will be over. she did. 4 years of my life wasted.

i think im gonna drink myself to oblivion tonite....

Oh, shit, man. I'm really sorry to hear that D:

Thanks for the congratulations, anyway...

 

[US Crash Fire]

tell your sis congrats. i was supposed to be getting married tomorow as well. but my fiance wouldnt allow all of my family to come to the wedding because she wanted a "small" wedding and i have a BIG family.(i offered to pay for the whole wedding) after about a month of fighting about this she said "whats more important me or your family!" and "your just supposed to show up! its all about ME that day! and your making it all about you!" i told her if i cant have my family there and if she doesnt want them to be give me my ring back and it will be over. she did. 4 years of my life wasted.

i think im gonna drink myself to oblivion tonite....

Oh, shit, man. I'm really sorry to hear that D:

Thanks for the congratulations, anyway...

thanks
this is about the lowest ive ever felt
and my only escape from reality is the forums at the escapist...wait....ha!

 

[Glerken]

If things go well and I stay steady with Stephanie, eventually yes I may pop the question.
On a side note, my feet and hands are ice cold for some reason after thinking of this. Is that a sign?

Hmm. Cold....Feet. Oh, it makes sense now.
I'd say that means you're not ready to get married yet.


As for me, my answer is: Someday.
And according to my myspace, I want kids: someday, as well. Hopefully I grow out of my hate for children.

 

[Lord_Ascendant]

If things go well and I stay steady with Stephanie, eventually yes I may pop the question.
On a side note, my feet and hands are ice cold for some reason after thinking of this. Is that a sign?

Hmm. Cold....Feet. Oh, it makes sense now.
I'd say that means you're not ready to get married yet.


As for me, my answer is: Someday.
And according to my myspace, I want kids: someday, as well. Hopefully I grow out of my hate for children.

Oh, so thats where all the Ethiopian children went.....

 

[Evilbunny]

I personally can't wait to get married. I know that's odd coming from a 21 year old male but I just love the idea of it.

 

[Evilbunny]

tell your sis congrats. i was supposed to be getting married tomorow as well. but my fiance wouldnt allow all of my family to come to the wedding because she wanted a "small" wedding and i have a BIG family.(i offered to pay for the whole wedding) after about a month of fighting about this she said "whats more important me or your family!" and "your just supposed to show up! its all about ME that day! and your making it all about you!" i told her if i cant have my family there and if she doesnt want them to be give me my ring back and it will be over. she did. 4 years of my life wasted.

i think im gonna drink myself to oblivion tonite....

Holy shit that's awful. I'm so sorry to hear that.

 

[sorry user name taken.]

i'd only get married (well duh) if i found the right guy (or girl ) depends on who ever i feel relaxed with..but then of course if you get married you'll have to have kids

~rolls eyes~

so meh....

 

[Internet Kraken]

I'm an incredibly selfish individual so I probably won't ever get married.

Not that I even care. At least not at the moment.

 

[Joselyn]

My high school sweetheart found my phone number when she was cleaning out her room 4 years after we had broken up...we dated for 3 months and have been happily married for 4 years...we got married by a priest at a city hall.

That's so sweet seems a lot like fate to me....