Me vs. my Dad

[Hairetos]

4) Welcome to Atheism, the water's lovely!

Not anymore. To many people are peeing in the waters, and it's awful crowded by all the people just lounging around cause they think it's the new cool hangout spot. Almost makes me ashamed to say I am atheist these days. I would rather say I just don't have faith there is a god.

Come on, don't be like that. You're just going to become one of the "too cool to be cool kids of the cool pond" A conformist to not conforming to nonconformity.

Just don't give a shit what others of the same belief are like.

As to the OP: if you're moving out soon, don't tell them. My dad made some obnoxious, albeit empty, threats when I told him. Don't expect your parents to be understanding, because people seem to forget: Your parents are, logically, likely to be average people. Average people aren't particularly wise or understanding. Therefore it's illogical to expect your parents to be particularly wise or understanding.

Now, if you know that your father will be understanding, then you should have no reason not to tell him. But I expect that's not the case since you're asking us.

How can you not give a shit what other of the same belief are like? Still to clerify a bit, it's not exactly them that I wish to distance myself from, but this image that is projected on me by them.

The hundreds of apologetic statements I see online from people who live in the US basically says the same thing. Rather then trying to refute the bias against the US, they basically all say that they are sad they live in the US as well, so they can distance themselves from that bias.

When I say atheist these days people have militant anti-theist in mind. That is what I wish to distance myself from. I just don't care enough in this case to try and correct people.

Because it's irrelevant and futile. People prejudge you on titles all the time. The best you'll ever be able to do is to clear it up later with your argumentation.

 

[scyrin]

your over 18, your old enough to make a damn choice in what you believe in

 

[Thedayrecker]

My mom's not happy that I'm an Atheist, and after the initial fight, we just never speak about it. She knows, but she also knows she can't control my beliefs.

And my dad doesn't care.

 

[Danish rage]

Religion is a private matter. And if you know it´s gonna end in a shouting contest over imaginary friends, why bother?

 

[Glerken]

4) Welcome to Atheism, the water's lovely!

Not anymore. To many people are peeing in the waters, and it's awful crowded by all the people just lounging around cause they think it's the new cool hangout spot. Almost makes me ashamed to say I am atheist these days. I would rather say I just don't have faith there is a god.

I don't get it...
I don't know anyone who's an atheist because they think it's "cool"
And as for the first part, you're tying in anti-theists with atheists.

Religion is a private matter. And if you know it´s gonna end in a shouting contest over imaginary friends, why bother?

I'm assuming he doesn't what the pretend he's something he's not to his own parents.
It's important to make sure they know who you are exactly, they'll probably except you.

 

[Alex06]

Tell him and ignore anything he has to say in response...<.<

THIS SOUNDS LIKE THE CHRISTIAN DEFENSE.

Sorry everyone, sorry sorry sorry

I had to.

OT: Just talk to him and don't blow up about it, he's your dad, he'll come around to it.

...And eventually he will likely adapt your point of view. It's happened countless times around here, where I live, back in the 60s. I'm an immigrant from Europe, but I got around to my parents and they eventually became agnostic...Well, they're more like "I don't care", rather than "I don't know", but that's the closest thing to it. They just don't care about deities and religion. They care about their life and the life of those around them rather than the life of something they don't know for sure exists and have no proof possible of it.

I'm an atheist, however. And I've just personally stopped caring. If someone isn't a total dick about their beliefs and forces it, I'll be fine with it. Though I am open to argumentation (philosophically, not with insults) and will discuss the subject with anyone.

So...Tell him how you feel and ask him if he could "please respect that". He might not come around at first and if he starts arguing and insulting, tell him you don't really want to talk in this kind of manner and to talk about it when he's ready to talk about it in a calm, philosophical and open-minded manner. That's the intelligent and mature thing to do, in my opinion.

And you can always say that your atheism might just be part of god's bigger plan if you have to really shut him up until he calms down. Though the whole "god's plan" is more of an excuse to justify whatever one does (It's almost always used in that context).

 

[nothinghere]

K straight to the point, my Dad is christian, very christian. Note my parents are divorced. over the last 8 years he has, i guess you could say, forced it upon me a bit. and for the last number of years i would say i was christian.
Well now im an athiest. He does not know this, and he probably would be quite disappointed. several months ago we had a clash over a difference in beliefs and it resulted in an half hour long shouting match, so i dont know how well he'll take this.

So I ask you, Escapist forum people: how should i proceed?

note if you need any more details just ask.

How chrisitan is he, some believe athiest's are to be burned where they stand... dunno if he follows that mindset you may never want him finding out. I've seen some that would likely murder there son, but they are also very crazy.

 

[Zaverexus]

I had the same thing, but luckily my mom isn't very religious (as in we don't go to church but she believes in God) and she's pretty cool so it seemed like a minor disappointment but no big deal

 

[Intergalactic 5555]

Religion its like a penis in reality PLEASE dont Get it out in public and dont wave it about and shout about it but Most importantly Dont try and shove it down mine or anyone elses throat that pretty much sums up my view on religion tell him that it should work

 

[Alex06]

So I ask you, Escapist forum people: how should i proceed?

First of all: good for you. You're a brave guy to stand up to your parents and believe in what YOU believe. You'd be surprised (or maybe you wouldn't) how many people just suck it up their whole lives and never think for themselves. (not dissing religion per se here, just saying a lot of people never think what THEY believe) Be proud of your atheism. (e before i btw =p)

Now as for your parents, it sounds like your Dad is a pretty hardcore Christian and that he has some issues regarding the divorce re: you. It could be that he just wants to bring you up right and is frustrated about not having you to himself. Maybe he's worried about your Mum not bringing you up right or something. Just tell him that you love him and you always consider his opinions very importantly, but where it comes to religion you have your own mind.

I think if you do that he'll probably relax a bit. he's probably using the religion thing as a means to maintain a grip on you. Parents, especially divorced ones, find it really hard to let go of their kids.

Anyway, pop psychology over, welcome to the club!

PS: Have you read The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins? If you want some ammunition to back up your arguments with your Dad, this book is what you need.

The whole parents argument makes sense. And essentially, it's just like this novel I read a few weeks ago. I've had a friend or two in this kind of situation.

 

[Extra-Ordinary]

Look, every religion (and in this case, lack thereof) is gonna have holes. All of them have answers for everything; every (non)religion can explain how everything works. It's just that sometimes, those reasons aren't very good. So just try to reach an agreement where you don't try to convert him, and he doesn't try to, either. Because neither of you are going to win. If he persists, ignore him but DO NOT argue with him. Like I said, neither of you are going to win.

 

[manaman]

4) Welcome to Atheism, the water's lovely!

Not anymore. To many people are peeing in the waters, and it's awful crowded by all the people just lounging around cause they think it's the new cool hangout spot. Almost makes me ashamed to say I am atheist these days. I would rather say I just don't have faith there is a god.

I don't get it...
I don't know anyone who's an atheist because they think it's "cool"
And as for the first part, you're tying in anti-theists with atheists.

Anti-theist is the new cool hip rebellious thing. So many people shouting the same tired idiotic half baked arguments, and following up with "more people have died in the name of religion then war ever killed," not thinking for a second that those people still died in a war, and religion was just the excuse of the day, people would still be killing people in wars without religion, they would just find other excuses for it.

When I say atheist these days people have militant anti-theist in mind. That is what I wish to distance myself from. I just don't care enough in this case to try and correct people.

Because it's irrelevant and futile. People prejudge you on titles all the time. The best you'll ever be able to do is to clear it up later with your argumentation.

Distancing myself from the worst of the lot is a pretty good start on being able to clarify my position is it not?

 

[Glerken]

4) Welcome to Atheism, the water's lovely!

Not anymore. To many people are peeing in the waters, and it's awful crowded by all the people just lounging around cause they think it's the new cool hangout spot. Almost makes me ashamed to say I am atheist these days. I would rather say I just don't have faith there is a god.

I don't get it...
I don't know anyone who's an atheist because they think it's "cool"
And as for the first part, you're tying in anti-theists with atheists.

Anti-theist is the new cool hip rebellious thing. So many people shouting the same tired idiotic half baked arguments, and following up with "more people have died in the name of religion then war ever killed," not thinking for a second that those people still died in a war, and religion was just the excuse of the day, people would still be killing people in wars without religion, they would just find other excuses for it.

I think you're making the population of people who are doing these things just to be "cool" and "rebellious" much larger than it is. I know plenty of atheists, none of them are so because they're trying to be rebellious. I know people who are anti-theists, they aren't doing it to be rebellious, they're doing it because they're just not tolerant people.

To be honest,

Spoiler: this

is coming to my mind.