Meet The Producers

[Spartan Bannana]

NO!NO!NO! Willy will get hit by a car, and his family will support him while he's in a coma, then they will move on with their lives, he wakes up to find his whole life dismantled! GENIUS!

And by 'dismantled', I assume you mean someone steals his robot heart, and he goes on a quest to retrieve it so he can love again.

YES! GENIUS, then he would fight a dragon, and there would be another zombie infection, oh and he would blow some shit up. Then he would have a pointless sex scene with his long lost love after killing her new boyfriend and winning her back! GENIUS!!!!

 

[Jumplion]

NO!NO!NO! Willy will get hit by a car, and his family will support him while he's in a coma, then they will move on with their lives, he wakes up to find his whole life dismantled! GENIUS!

And by 'dismantled', I assume you mean someone steals his robot heart, and he goes on a quest to retrieve it so he can love again.

YES! GENIUS, then he would fight a dragon, and there would be another zombie infection, oh and he would blow some shit up. Then he would have a pointless sex scene with his long lost love after killing her new boyfriend and winning her back! GENIUS!!!!

NO! IDIOT! Willy has to find out that his Dolphin girlfriend is with his best friend whom is married to another person, but Dolphy doesn't know that. Then Willy's in a coma and they discover the true meaning of love, but not without lonely sex with explosions coordinated to their orgasms. C'mon! It's genius "awwww" and "OhHh NoOoOoO!!! factors! We get the girls in, we get their boyfriends in.

Think about sales people! This movie's going to be using up enough of tax payer's money to power 6 thrid-world countries! We need to rake in the cash for a sequal!

God, we are all so going to hell.

 

[Johnn Johnston]

Don't forget. There needs to be more product placement than we've already got. What's hip and happenin' with the kids nowadays? George Orwell? Ok. Let's get his things on set for the orgasmic sex scene.

Well, it was post 1984.

 

[Anarchemitis]

Well, we need something with a bit of literal and onomatopoeiaian Oomph.

...
Robot Nazi Ninja Zombie Cyborg Inventor Communist Commando Pirate Biologist Raptor Soldier, or RNNZCICCPBRS.

 

[PurpleRain]

Or we could spin starnge and wonderful puns:

CRAP
Communist Robot Anarchist Pirates

RATORS
Robot Anarchist Traitor Omnibus Raptor Soldiers

NAZI
National Socialists

 

[Brett Alex]

Alright I think the bleedings stopped. It's ok Rain, I know you didn't mean it, and on the plus side its not hurting as much as some of these terrible ideas. Let's take a break from the raptors for a second and work out comic relief, should Segal have a wisecracking buddy sidekick? It would be good if he was a minority as well...

 

[PurpleRain]

Hmm, Chris Rock or Clive Owen. They both make great side kicks, well maybe not Clive, but he's still awesome. We need to give him a roll in this film.

 

[Brett Alex]

Hmm, Chris Rock or Clive Owen. They both make great side kicks, well maybe not Clive, but he's still awesome. We need to give him a roll in this film.

I'm thinking... I'm getting into a lattice of creative energy... and I'm there, ok, we have the Hannibals as a crime fighting duo, played by Jason Statham and Clive Owen, but, wait for it, they also time travel... annd kick arse... annnd at the start of the movie there is a scene where their boss (the chief of police, from the future) condemns them for their rash actions and tell them to hand over their badges and guns and that they are both off the Time-Case, of course they have to go vigilante and solve it anyway.. or something along those lines, we'll get right it in the script later.

 

[Jumplion]

I unofficially declare myself cheif of marketing!

Any ideas for commercials?

 

[PurpleRain]

I'm thinking... I'm getting into a lattice of creative energy... and I'm there, ok, we have the Hannibals as a crime fighting duo, played by Jason Statham and Clive Owen, but, wait for it, they also time travel... annd kick arse... annnd at the start of the movie there is a scene where their boss (the chief of police, from the future) condemns them for their rash actions and tell them to hand over their badges and guns and that they are both off the Time-Case, of course they have to go vigilante and solve it anyway.. or something along those lines, we'll get right it in the script later.

I only heard 'Jason Statham and Clive Owen' then I zoned out in an orgasmic spasm.

How will the Time -Case influence Willy?

Wait, i got it! Willy's part robot right? So maybe the terrorists went to the future to capture him to bring him back so then they can blow up the world with Willy's dark matter reactor core. But while they were returning to the present, Willy got lost and ended up with Segal. The terrorits, lead by Timmothy, track down Segal and shoot outs occur.
Meanwhile, the Time-Case is on the job to restore time. Hannible and Hannible (played by Jason Statham and Clive Owen) go to find Willy and the terrorists.

Timmothy get's with Segals mother, Carmin Electra, and kills her with a chainsaw after a pasionate sex scene (only showing side boobs and such to keep it PG). He then steals Willy with the help of his Undead Velocoraptor Nazi Ninjas.

Segal finds his mother corpse and goes mad with fury killing the UVNN's. Timmothy, by this stage has catupred Willy and it's all falling to plan. Willy is on the back of a truck going down the highway to the White House to finish the job they started long ago.

Segal meets up with the Time-Case who get a car (preferably a good one, so we can blow it up and waste millions(a Jag?)) and try to race after them. During the highway scene, a massive car chase/action scene ensues with the cars crashing off to the side. The Time-Case set up a portal in which Willy dramatically dives over the boy and threw at the end of the movie. timmothy has to be killed in a comedic matter that the kids will love. Crushed by his own truck?

 

[Anarchemitis]

The trailer needs action! And Explosions! And boobs! And more action! And more boobs! And more explosions! Did I mention guns? It needs guns! And explosions!

 

[Jumplion]

GUYS GUYS!

We HAVE to have John Stamos! Who wouldn't love the worlds sexiest babysitter/biker gang member who's over 50 years old and still hot! Huh?!?!

 

[Anarchemitis]

Orange posters, got it.
Now all we need is a slogan and catchy tune.

 

[PurpleRain]

Ad idea.

Dom dom...
*Flashes a picture of the terrorists*
Dom dom...
*Flashes a picture of Willy*
Dom dom...
*Flashes a picture of the portal*
Dom dom...
*Flashes a picture of Segal*

Jason Statham VO:
"The year is 3042. The project named 'Willy' has been kidnaped through time. It's up to me and my partner to get him back... the only problem, the terrorists have lost him, and it's our job to find him before it's too late."

EXT: Night Seaside.
Willy falls down into the ocean in a loud splash behind Segal who's fishing.

INT: House.
Segal: "Mum, mum, I found something in the water. It's a whale!"

EXT: Water tank day
Segal is pressed up against the tank with Willy (voiced by Morgan Freeman) talking to him.
Segal: "You can talk."
Willy: "I'm from the future little boy. Bad people want to capture me."

Segal VO while the terrorist attack the water park.
"I'll free you Willy. I'll free you!"

Explosion!
Timmothy Doulton walks out of the blast, smoking a cigar, wearing a tuxido, laughing amoungst the distruction.
Zombie Nazi Velocoraptors are holding Segal down.
Timmothy: "You're just a boy! Noone can stop me! With Willy, the world will be mine!"

Explosion!
Jason Statham and Clive Owen come out of a partol in a jeep firing in every direction!
Clive Owen: "Come on, we have to save the future! Away!"

Explosion!
Writing appears on screen: Free Willy!

 

[Jumplion]

Where the fuck's John Stamos in that commercial?!?! We HAVE to have him guys! He's so damn sexy!

 

[PurpleRain]

Where the fuck's John Stamos in that commercial?!?! We HAVE to have him guys! He's so damn sexy!

John Stamos went swimming in a river wearing pretty heavy boots. Concrete ones to be precise.

 

[Spartan Bannana]

Where the fuck's John Stamos in that commercial?!?! We HAVE to have him guys! He's so damn sexy!

John Stamos went swimming in a river wearing pretty heavy boots. Concrete ones to be precise.

John Stamos should come back as the leader of the zombie horde! GENIUS!

 

[Anarchemitis]

Excellent! Reginald, we need our congratulatory cigar box of cigars!

 

[Jumplion]

Where the fuck's John Stamos in that commercial?!?! We HAVE to have him guys! He's so damn sexy!

John Stamos went swimming in a river wearing pretty heavy boots. Concrete ones to be precise.

John Stamos should come back as the leader of the zombie horde! GENIUS!

NO NO NO! Hold off the cigars for a sec!

You and me have a problem here...

John Stamos is way to sexy to be the leader of the zombie horde. He NEEDS to have a role that involves him taking care of the main character with a girl who supposedly doesn't like him but eventually loves him because of his rebel attitued.

GIRLS NEED TO FALL IN LOVE WITH THE MAN, WE DON'T NEED GUYS ORGASAMING OVER HIS SEXYNESS OF THE LEADER OF THE ZOMBIE HORDE!

 

[PurpleRain]

Where the fuck's John Stamos in that commercial?!?! We HAVE to have him guys! He's so damn sexy!

John Stamos went swimming in a river wearing pretty heavy boots. Concrete ones to be precise.

John Stamos should come back as the leader of the zombie horde! GENIUS!

NO NO NO! Hold off the cigars for a sec!

You and me have a problem here...

John Stamos is way to sexy to be the leader of the zombie horde. He NEEDS to have a role that involves him taking care of the main character with a girl who supposedly doesn't like him but eventually loves him because of his rebel attitued.

GIRLS NEED TO FALL IN LOVE WITH THE MAN, WE DON'T NEED GUYS ORGASAMING OVER HIS SEXYNESS OF THE LEADER OF THE ZOMBIE HORDE!

Ok, he, the zombie hoard and all his 'bitchez' are at the bottom of a river all wearing identical concrete boots.