I want to make a disclaimer before making this post. I am all for feminism. Equality between the sexes is a no brainer. Feminism has done fantastic things for raising the conciousness around DV against women. If you are a feminist and the below doesn't apply to you, I'm not attacking you. #notallfeminists.
Unfortunately it is undeniable that the mainstream feminist movement has been terrible with the issue of DV against men. I don't think it bares any responsibility for the actual violence, but it does actively work against male victims (and also female victims of female abusers). Most feminist understanding of DV is based around the Duluth model, which according to Wikipedia,
"As of 2006, the Duluth Model is the most common batterer intervention program used in the United States."
It defines the Duluth model as
"based on a second wave radical feminist theory positing that "domestic violence is the result of patriarchal ideology in which men are encouraged and expected to control their partners""
There is literally no space for either Male victims or female abusers in that statement, which, given the statistics of female abusers and male victims shows that there is a fundamental flaw.
Moving onto specific organisations, I'm English so I'm going to raise 3 DV charities and what they say about the subject. Starting with Refuge, one of the biggest DV charities (and avowadly feminist). Under the Refuge logo, it says the following,
"For Women and Children. Against domestic Violence"
Again, ignoring male victims entirely. Under the About Domestic Violence section it says the following.
"Domestic violence is the result of an abuser?s desire for power and control. Women are considered less important by many in our society and this creates an imbalance of power between the sexes.
As a result male abusers are too often allowed to get away with their actions."
But at least it does mention male victims lower down the page...
"Although men can be abused too, the statistics show that in most cases it is women who are abused.
· One in four women is abused during her lifetime.
· One in nine is severely physically abused each year.
· Two are killed each week ."
Oh, ok, so if you're a male victim, we don't care because you're in the minority. This seems to be bourne out of the statistics but the male victim minority is much higher than this seems to imply. An intersting aside on Refuge. It was the charity first started by Erin Pizzey who, again from Wikipedia,
"Pizzey said that militant feminists?with the collusion of Labour's leading women?hijacked her cause and used it to try to demonise all men, not only in Britain, but internationally... Pizzey says that it was after death threats against her, her children, her grandchildren, and the shooting of her dog, all of which she states were perpetrated by militant feminists,"
She claims that the reason for those threats and attacks were that she dared to suggest that women could be abusers and men could be victims.
The next organisation is Women's Aid (a feminist organisation). In the About Domestic Violence section, we have the following
"The vast majority of the victims of domestic violence are women and children, and women are also considerably more likely to experience repeated and severe forms of violence, and sexual abuse. Women may experience domestic violence regardless of ethnicity, religion, class, age, sexuality, disability or lifestyle....The majority of abusers are men, but in other respects, they vary: ...Their behaviour may originate from a sense of entitlement which is often supported by sexist, racist, homophobic and other discriminatory attitudes. "
Not the word vast in that statement. Again, erasing male victims although again, the page gives them some lip service (even less than refuge however).
These aren't fringe movements. These are two of the biggest DV charities in the country and get millions in government funding. They are the 2nd and 3rd links on Google when you search for domestic violence. They flat out ignore 30-40% of victims and help perpetuate the harmful myth that men cannot be victims, that women cannot be abusers. There are mainstream feminist organisations, you have the feminist Duluth model, it's an unfortunate fact that mainstream feminism has actively held back the recognition of male victims and female abusers. Again, I repeat, not all feminists, but those who are in a position to actually influence policy. Sometimes these groups actively campaign against Male shelters (This is from memory. I will be happy to find sources for this if asked for, but Google should be able to help).
I want to end with this, because it made me really angry. Domestic Violence London is a website run by our NHS and the vast majority of the site gives advice to female victims. It does, however, have a section entitled "Domestic Abuse Against Men" Instead of giving advice to men who may be being abused and think they've found a resource for them, it says the following
"Domestic abuse is often talked about in a gendered manner, but it is important to recognise that men experience domestic abuse as victims too. Men's experiences are likely to be significantly different to women though.
The research that is available suggests that women are more likely than men to experience domestic abuse in their lives and to suffer repeated victimisation. They are also more likely to be injured, or have to seek medical help. Another difference is that men are less likely to be murdered by female abusers; Home Office figures reveal that on average, 100 women a year and around 30 men a year are killed within a domestic abuse context. Women are almost exclusively killed by men whereas in contrast approximately one third of the men are killed by other men and a little under a third are killed by women against whom they have a documented history of abuse."
I mean, so fucking what? This is the one small section on the website about DV against men, and it takes half the page essentially saying, yeah it happens but it's not as bad, look see you're a man so you may be being abused but women have it worse. I also believe that 100 women a year is incorrect but is often quoted.
For anyone who is interested in the subject, Ally Fogg writes very well on it (and he's generally pro feminism too). Also, it's worth reading the tragic story of Earl Silverman who is mentioned above.
Apologies for the length of the post. Should I have used quote tags? This is something I care about and it does make me angry to see so many victims just ignored or only given a passing mention. As said above, I'm pro feminism, but like any political movement ideology can get in the way of fact and this is one area where mainstream political feminism, unfortunately, has a blind spot.
