Metroid Film...by Uwe Boll starring... Jessica simpson

Lem0nade Inlay

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Apr 3, 2010
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Well thank God it's a joke.

People should just stop trying. Or at least they should do what prince of persia did, and just take one concept of a game and build a story around that.

As long as they never make a Half-Life movie...that'll be the end of my world...
 

ShadowsofHope

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Nov 1, 2009
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Oh. Fuck. No.

Owe Boll and Michael Bay.. We need to start using the pit punishment again, people. Or lock them in a room with a psychotic chipmunk. Either or.

Edit: Whew. I almost suffered a heart failure for such a title. Thank you.
 

MelziGurl

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Jan 16, 2009
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My fiancee just gave the news to his brother, to which his reaction was a hesitant, "Aah, aaaah NOOOOO! Massive fail!"
 

snow

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Jan 14, 2010
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Deiphagia said:
Metroid Film: YESSSS
by Uwe Boll: Fuuuuuck
starring... Jessica simpson: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

How come Uwe keeps making movies if he knows everyone hates them. Samus Aran almost never speaks in the games anyways except for Metroid Fusopn, and that was all text based. The Metroid games are very exploration/random encounter action oriented. How would they make that into a movie?
I can see a Metroid Fusion movie because there was significant plot.
Wasn't Doom the same way? I haven't actually played those games, though I was under the assumption. I felt that was a pretty good movie, despite some of the bad acting.

I personally didn't mind In Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale... It was so horrible it became entertaining for me. Not to mention the thought of Jason Statham beating the crap out of the Ninja Turtles amuses me greatly.

Lem0nade Inlay said:
Well thank God it's a joke.

People should just stop trying. Or at least they should do what prince of persia did, and just take one concept of a game and build a story around that.

As long as they never make a Half-Life movie...that'll be the end of my world...
I agree with you there. When they try to take a game and rework it into a movie... It spells disaster at its finest. Though if they were to take a game, play through it, and get a general grasp of what that game was about, and create something original based off of the game or the world in that game... I feel it stands a much greater chance depending on who's running it and how big a budget they have.
 

ShadowsofHope

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Mercurio128 said:
fluffybunny937 said:
I just placed a bet of 20 cents with my local bookie. If this movie wins an academy award I'll be a very rich man.
Unfortunately you won't be able to collect your winnings as any universe where Uwe Boll can win an Oscar would kersplode due to extreme levels of inanity.
No, no. A universe where Uwe Boll could win an Oscar can never exist. The Laws of the Universe are bendy sometimes, but that's just like snapping them in half, grilling them, and making shitty McDonald's fries out of them. It just can't happen. And if it does, then all my faith in reality will officially hit the shitter.
 

warprincenataku

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Jan 28, 2010
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Ok, that's it. I'll be back in a few, I just have to step out and erm... well... let's just say, "not assasinate Uwe Boll". *shifts eyes*
 

Krion_Vark

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Enigma6667 said:
Krion_Vark said:
Enigma6667 said:
NINTENDO franchise
I remember reading an article about WHY Nintendo hasn't had one of their games made into a movie yet. They are VERY VERY Protective. I highly doubt they would give Uwe Boll the okay to have one of their children and make it into a grotesque monster. I also remember that they said something like they aren't putting making a movie out of one of their games is bad they just want the right guy to come along and I HIGHLY HIGHLY doubt they would let Uwe Boll have at it and make it into a disgusting piece of fecal matter.
Well, wasn't the Super Mario Bros. movie already made? That's a movie made of one of their franchises. And it was also a grotesque monster.
That is why they have become so protective they dont want a giant frankenstein monster.
 

Hashime

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Jan 13, 2010
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NOOOO! We must stop Uwe Boll NOW! To arm my brothers, before he ruins another game movie!